Everytime someone states his interests even a bit, I feel like being rude, distant and cold towards that person. Naturally I try not to, but can't shake the feeling that I wanna avoid that person from that on.
It's always like this, and I'd like to be a nice and polite person,but I just don't feel good around someone I know fancies me in a romantic way. This is especially since I'm an adult already, people in my age states their feelings more or less openly and I'm way pass the "just holding hands" phase. However any kind of physical or mental closure with the opposite sex kinda frightens me. I can't pinpoint a reason for that, cause otherwise I'm normal, social and happy person.
So what is this about and how do I stop "hating" the people who likes me?
Dude you sound just like me. I avoid people who are interested in me, and I freak out when someone asks me out for a date, even when it's just something super casual like having a coffee etc. I don't have a problem with hanging out with guys as bros (I'm a femanon), and when I become friends with a guy I usually try to make clear from the beginning that I'm not interested in any romantic or sexual form of relationship, because I know how I start to act when I realize someone's into me and I don’t want to hurt people.
(1/2)
>>17214544
See a therapist. You have some sort of issue with intimacy that's obviously scaring you. Reacting so viscerally to the idea that someone is interested in you romantically is extremely unhealthy.
>>17214773
>have good male friend
>we plan on doing some road trip to france with other mutual friend this summer after university exams(we're eurofags)
>anonina drops a few hints that he is into me
>ohfuck.jpg
>"hey…uhmmm… I can't go to france with you, I have to stay at my parents place in anontown babysitting the cat while they're at vacation, and to be honest I prefer sitting on the sofa eating pizza playing vidya and cuddling the cat over traveling after my exams"
>he hasn't replied to my text in 4 days
I'm an asshole I guess
>>17214544
does this happen only when you reciprocate their feelings, when you don't or either?
>>17214544
Do you have some self esteem issues? Might be a reason
>>17214785
It happens no matter the situation. I never have feelings towards anyone.
>>17214820
>I never have feelings towards anyone
Pretty sure this is some sort of emotional detachment/dissociation. Perhaps some learned reflex you developed.
If you like them back, let them know. If you don't like them, you don't like them
run along now!
>>17214784
>and to be honest I prefer sitting on the sofa eating pizza playing vidya and cuddling the cat over traveling after my exams
>tell a friend you prefer to sit on the sofa with the cat rather than to travel with them even though you've made plans
I'm not surprised he's not replying. I'd drop that kind of friend as well, whether there were one-sided romantic feelings involved or not.
>>17214820
>I never have feelings towards anyone.
Heh, I know a person like that, and I got the bad luck of having a crush on her. She knows and we're good friends still (she actually said a similar thing as you about being an asshole to guys who get crushes on her, but she seems OK with me, maybe because I'm chill with it since I've already been rejected like that before)
If you're fine otherwise, what gives? You don't care about those people too much anyways if you change your attitude towards them so easily instead of trying to communicate about the situation. You may as well keep on it. Or if it honestly makes you feel bad about yourself, go see a therapist and see if you don't have any issues to work out, or just come to any conclusion that'll stop you from feeling bad about yourself for that matter
Some honest talks with a close friend may help but therapist is better since they're more objective
