Hey /adv/. I've never had this happen before. This girl I knew from high school started liking my FB posts, so I hit her up on messager. We talked, I got her number, we kept talking, we scheduled a date.
I was told ahead of time by friends that they know she has small anxiety issues, but those didn't seem to matter.
I invited her out with my friends to go drinking, and she was seemed via text to be super excited. The next day we flirted, then late at night said she wanted to bring her friend with her. I remembered the anxiety she had in HS and asked her if she was uncomfortable with the plans and she said no.
The day after she said she is going to get a ride with her friend's brother on top of that as opposed to Uber or an alternative like the rest of us.
What the fuck? Should I just flat out ask her if she's even interested? I mean fuck off at this point. It became "hey let's get some drinks together" to "hey I'll meet you there with my friend."
9 times out of 10 I would just write her off immediately and cancel on her. But I can't tell if this is an anxiety thing and if I'm being insensitive.
Should I just ask her flat out what the deal is? Or is there anything I could ask more subtle to find out? Because I don't want to waste my time when I have four other women I could invite instead.
You asked her out with your friends so why does that mean she can't bring a friend, obviously you only care about yourself.
An anxious person it's going to be super comfortable saying they're anxious. It's sort of like touching someone's wound to ask if it hurts. If they were okay before, they certainly aren't now.
Being anxious about going alone is different than completely not being okay with your plans. But you don't really come across as ready or willing to deal with her anxiety. Might be better for you both if you move on.
>>17213229
I was fine with the friend by itself. The fact that now she's getting her own ride strikes me as a red flag and that she's weird.
>>17213205
Yeah you painted yourself in a corner like >>17213229 said, you made it a friend thing. If it were a date you could've clarified that but you made it kind of an event. If you want to be straightforward just make it clear that you're interested in her romantically and nip any what ifs with her friends brother in the bud.
You should let people get to know you a bit before you try to fuck them
>>17213282
I was interested in getting to know her. Then she does this double side step. I actually was interested in her, now I see it as more of a hassle than anything else.
>>17213246
her getting a ride with someone she knows better is weird? Wow aren't you just an ass, just leave her alone since you don't care enough
>>17213292
>Then she does this double side step.
you didnt ask her out on a date, you ask her out on a friend thing
it's your fault for being retarded, she didn't sidestep you.
>>17213292
If it's a hassle for you then just don't deal with it. You don't need to uninvite her, just don't deal with it and let her do whatever and just have fun. It's win win, you don't have to worry if she's having a good time or if you're impressing her and it will probably make you more attractive to her.
>>17213205
Sounds like she's being nice. Does she keep bringing the same folks?
>>17213301
It was originally a date, then we found out we were both busy on that night, so I offered this drinking thing instead. She agreed.
Now she's acting weird. Like she only sent those two texts at like 11 at night telling me about her friend and new ride. She was concerned with how far away the bar was. She was scared that I might be drinking and driving. Etc.
She responds to every text a minute after too. Which is nice for once. But like, if you can't trust me or be comfortable with me, why go out with me?
>I invited her out with my friends to go drinking
This seems like an entirely appropriate thing to invite her own friends to. If you intended this to be a date, you seem to have a poor idea of what a date is
>>17213318
This is what my plan is now. Thanks.
>>17213205
Did you expect a commitment of undying love on the first date? What is wrong with just meeting up with this girl on her terms and seeing if you enjoy yourselves? If all that comes of it is thagt you have made a friend-who-is-a-girl, that's not a bad outcome.
>>17213326
ahahaah buddy, you can't blame her for being cautious. why are you so upset about the fact that she is getting a ride with someone else? Honestly, a lot of girls take precautions bc you never know if the guy you're going out with is normal or will try to date rape you. Honestly, the fact that you're so upset about it doesn't speak too well about you, you sound like a jerk.
