My ex that broke up with me 2 years ago is now engaged with the guy she left me for. Meanwhile I have hardly gotten past date 1 with a lot of girls. I've been focusing on myself for the most part, I work full time and buying my own condo at the age of 22 but I can't find anyone to date, I'm interested in a long term relationship, don't like sleeping around. I'm on pof, okc, tinder and craigslist but after 2 years on all I don't get replies anymore. I haven't tried bars really because I don't have any friends that could help me out with that sort of social life. I've tried single events hosted by pof but everyone is too old that goes. How do I find a date?
Bumping because same boat
>>17211807
>i cant find anyone to date
your problem is likely that you are looking for ANYONE to date
no one wants to be ANYONE to you. they want to be SOMEONE to you. they want to be special. when you are on OKC, POF, craigslist, and tinder and actively blogposting about how you WANT a serious relationship, no one can take you seriously. and yes, girls (or rather, PEOPLE) can pick up on this.
you are creating an aura of desperation. no girl wnats to go on a second date knowing that you plan to tie em down as soon as fucking possible.
despite this desperation you are also creating an imaginary standard. you have this idea of what a relationship is, an imaginary concept you've been building up for 2 years and girls arent meeting it cuz its not real. its not that its unrealistic, its that you are expecting something caused by random chemicals reacting, and trying to force that reaction.
on top of that oyu may still also be holding to the standard of your ex. wanting to date serioulsy is annoying cuz you are asking for a sort of commitment before anything starts. when you admit you want to have a serious relationship you are setting up that if a girl dates you more than once you expect a level of seriousness, commitment.
they dont know if they want to be serious with you. thats what dating is for.
>>17211807
you are doing all the right things OP and it's really a good thing you didn't fall right into another relationship. Just continue on and try to be patient. Finding a serious partner for a long term is hard but worth the wait. Believe me there are women out there that are right where you are. To expand your social circle volunteer or take an evening class. I volunteered for Habitat for Humanity and worked alongside a guy that introduced me to his equally awesome daughter, we hit it off and dating for over a year.
Same boat guys.
She left me after 12 years.
It's been a year and I just cant get past the 2nd date with any girl I'm actually interested. Only crazies are willing to date me.
>>17212128
Op here. This makes a lot of sense to me. I haven't really thought of my ex lately but finding out about her recently made me slightly depressed since she's at a point in her life where she feels committed to one person and that's what I want. I guess I'll stop mentioning that I want a long term relationship right away and see how that goes.
>>17212363
just try to get out of the mindst. saying it certainly doesnt help, but if you still go around acting the same way, its gonna show.
its okay to think 'i want to get to know you' as opposed to 'lets keep getting to know each other so we might get married one day.'
good luck man
