Anyone else struggle to fit into society here? I know a large amount of people on here are NEET, but anyone else here at least trying to make an effort?
It seems wherever I work I am a problem.
>Be me
>Going to community college
>Actually graduate and move onto an actual university for my bachelors
>Have to work a job in the mean time
>Work at grocery store
>Told to smile more
>People always say, "You look so serious!" or "You look so miserable!"
>Never actually mean to give off this vibes, happens subconsciously
>End up telling a joke that gets me fired
>Move to electronics instead
>Have to socialize and convince customers to buy phones
>This means pretending to care about their life and trying to apply getting a new phone/GPS/toaster/etc to their life
>Always do garbage in sales since I can't even socialize, let alone confidently sell something
>Get let go because Boss says she has to cut back hours, but I knew she was just starving me of hours to get rid of me
>Move on to restaurant
>Goes back to the first problem, "You look miserable!"
>"Smile more!"
>"Do you even want to be here?"
It just makes me worried about whatever job I end up getting with my bachelors. Am I ever going to be able to hold down an actual job like this?
Any advice?
i'm 23 years old and you learn to live with it eventually and have a normie personality to hide your power level until you're around people actually worth being yourself around. don't waste words on idiot normies that don't get you further in life
>>17210127
>Am I ever going to be able to hold down an actual job like this?
Probably not. Employers want people who have people skills, can get along with others and can work both independently and in a team of varying sizes. Without these things, you're constantly going to be overlooked in favour of people who may not have as good grades as you, but do have these things.
>>17210154
Its not that I necessarily have bad people skills when it comes to customers themselves. Customers are basically just repeating the same question over and over again. Its routine and easy. I just give off bad vibes when I don't mean to.
Is there a way around this? Any advice on changing one's attitude dramatically?
>>17210167
have you tried smiling more?
>>17210154
Not OP, but how would I prove this if I'm applying to a job? Would a business communications course have any merit?
>>17210167
That's part of having bad people skills, you know. How are you at interacting with coworkers?
>>17210167
no one cares if you have resting bitch face. if you want to change your attitude about people in general you need to stop seeing them as people and as instruments for your success, otherwise you're going to hate their existence for bothering yours. it's all about perspective and trying to give it a full month of attempts.
>>17210170
Yes, however, when I concentrate and get focused into my work it simply slips my mind.
>>17210183
Coworkers have almost never been a problem. When someone gets to know me it usually isn't an issue. Its assumptions based off of my vibes give off and body language that cause trouble.
>>17210188
So you're saying that I see customers as objects and not actual people?
I guess that would be accurate. But if they don't give a shit about my troubles then why should I care about treating them like people?
>>17210189
You sound like me OP. Maybe you should get a night shift job at a grocery store stacking shelves. You don't have to talk to that many people that way.
>>17210127
>>17210198
1. Real jobs depend on skills (assuming you went for a high-skill major like mech e).
2. People at real jobs have...actual jobs, so they place less importance on pretending to be happy.
>>17210182
Why would they care about that in relation to people skills? And you'd prove it by not being an aspie in interviews, and also proving it through answers to questions like "tell me about a time you had a conflict with a coworker" or "how have you dealt with difficult customers?"
>>17210189
>Its assumptions based off of my vibes give off and body language that cause trouble.
Then that's something you're going to have to work on. It doesn't matter that you're really a nice person once someone gets to know you, that's not going to come across in a 30 minute interview.
>>17210127
if you're not working in retail or anything that has you interacting with customers then it'll be much less of a problem, especially since you say you generally get along fine with your coworkers. Just doing your job and doing it well is more important than having a positive attitude.
Though the fact that you say you got fired for telling a joke concerns me, what did you say?
>>17210216
I made a dark joke in poor company, people who didn't know my character. It was a lesson I learned and will not repeat.
>>17210197
you don't treat them like people, you treat them like animals you have to talk to and speech becomes a means to an end and you build up a vocabulary of appearances/phrases that will aid you in your careers. no one really talks to people in work the way they talk to their friends, and honestly that's what everyone assumes everyone is doing.
i don't know how you're doing attractiveness wise also, but it generally helps to become more attractive
>>17210225
I want to hear the joke.
>>17210127
Let's a see a face. I can give you a first impression and maybe some advice. I'm not the happiest looking guy in the world either, but I've gotten in much better shape and hold myself with better posture and I don't get that much 'you look mad/bad' shit anymore. People have only told me I look like celebrities that I don't, and when I asked a co-worker friend what their first impression was of me they said I seemed like an ass but had style and was a boss at my job at the time, so I was the one everyone wanted to work with. If you can upgrade on a couple more obvious physical signals or just how you interract with people you can work with any face. Well, maybe, depends. Let's see a pic
>>17210197
>But if they don't give a shit about my troubles then why should I care about treating them like people?
Clearly this doesn't apply to you, but I work in retail and in my experience, rude customers are far and few between if you make even the slightest effort to provide good customer service.
>>17210240
same, lets hear it OP
glad to hear it was a lesson learned, just something to keep in mind if you tell a joke and someone who doesn't know you very well doesn't get it and gets offended or takes you seriously I usually just say something along the lines of sorry I was just being funny I guess we don't know eachother well enough yet. I have a very sarcastic sense of humor so that happens sometimes. Be careful with the off color jokes or ones that rely on obscure humor (like 4chan memes for example) some people are easily offended.
>>17210250
>>17210240
God fuck I hate telling this story. But if there is demand I guess I'll have to tell it.
It requires context, though:
>Working at grocery store at the time
>Particularly busy night
>At night we try to have someone on dishes so that we'll be able to get out at a decent time (it was in a deli)
>We tell the person on dishes to get out here and help us since we were swamped
>Dish person is some old bitch in her 50s-60s, particularly pissy that night but she jokes around sometimes
>Not today, though
>She begrudgingly comes out to help, bitching all the while
>When she finally goes back I go back with her and make the most retarded, autistic remark in my life
>"Do you ever feel like coming in one day and just shooting up the store?"
>In hindsight, it was really a joke, but I was poking fun at her because of her shitty attitude
>I didn't know her THAT well, so a joke like that was particularly unwarranted
>Doesn't ask anyone who knows me for advice, asks strangers who naturally tell her to tell management
>They call the cops on me
>Get put in cuffs
>Sent for psychiatric evaluation
>Get out in 2 days, deemed normal by the doctor
>Fired on the spot
I know I'm going to get called a retard, and I realize I was. But theres the story for you.
>>17210268
would depend on your delivery and if you timed your smile just right but that's not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be
really though this is what I'm talking about with an obscure sense of humor, on 4chan people get told to kill themselves every day but if you insult someone irl by saying just fucking kill yourself its quite serious
>>17210268
Oh fuck....have you gotten your hospital bill yet? mine was 4 grand just for one day at the psych ward.
>>17210282
Insurance covered it. I don't fucking know how, considering it was entirely my fault, but it did.
>>17210284
Oh good. I didn't have insurance at the time so I got screwed. I would not turn you in for a joke like that but some people think its serious. Have to be careful what you say but I am sure you know that by now.
>>17210268
You have a cold, standoffish demeanour and you actually thought that joke would go down well?
>>17210299
Yeah, definitely learned my lesson on that one.
>>17210305
As I've said before, once people get to know me I open up. I thought that she had seen that, but I obviously misjudged that. Rather than pure stupidity, I like to think of it as simply misstep in judgement.
I could be delusional, though.
Same here, working as an attendant at a restaurant sure gave me some stress, about the face, i normally note that my face is not always on it's "neutral state" an is more like angry and serious so I try to relax my facial muscles more... Or maybe I'm just autistic and this is never happening :0
>>17210314
You're obviously young op. You will do a lot of dumb shit in your twenties and early thirties that you will regret or wonder about but it's all happening for your development.
>>17210127
Got fired for making a joke??
>>17210838
I've always considered this to be a problem. I don't like a lot of noise, it stresses me out. I like to read in quiet places. Maybe I really am miserable working in such a loud place and don't even realize it.
>>17211320
Perish the thought.
>>17211326
Story is above.
