Hi everybody. How would somebody with Asperger's go about dating somebody? I'm 26 and have never been in a relationship due to a combination of things ranging from a strong dislike of physical contact and having a generally hard time expressing myself properly. How do I combat this and just behave like a normal enough person to be able to actually date somebody?
/Aspie/ reporting in.
I'm in the same boat as OP, kinda, except not at all.
I'd love for somebody outside my immediate family to have physical contact with me aside from hi-fives, it's been over a year since I've received human affection.
Still looking for advice if anybody has any. Thanks.
>>17209975
Give up. You're fucked.
How could you think you would ever possibly not be fucked?
>>17209980
Well if things don't improve by the time I'm 30 I fully plan on checking out early.
>>17210177
Don't.
There's more to life than having a significant other. Focus on making money. Buy hookers, do things, enjoy life.
>>17210195
isn't just about having a significant other. Wouldn't check out over some girl (or guy). I just haven't enjoyed anything ever and it's tiresome. If a movie isn't good halfway in it's a pretty safe bet that it isn't gonna get better.
>>17210420
The difference is that you can actually make a difference, stop acting like a spectator in your own life. Get up and have a blast. I'd imagine you've never enjoyed anything ever because you haven't tried many things. Do something completely over the top and out of the box.
Just know that If you aren't enjoying the movie, you can always write the script and direct it at any time.
Also, what does dating mean to you? You said you don't like physical contact, but are you looking for intimacy? Just a friend of the opposite sex?
>>17210591
I've traveled around the world and have been constantly swapping jobs trying different fields to see what I like but always inadvertently wind up back in programming. None of it actually feels like I experienced it though; more like I remember watching it happen.
You can't change the script of a shitty movie you're sitting in the theater watching.
I want to get past this dislike of physical contact. I want intimacy. A friend is just a friend and nothing more. How boring. Just like life.
>>17210605
>None of it actually feels like I experienced it though; more like I remember watching it happen.
It sounds like some sort of dissociation from reality.
Perhaps your involuntary disdain for physical contact has left you unable to cultivate any sort of sentimentality for ordinary human interactions. This feeling may be projecting outward and affecting everything you do.
I think you need to learn to be intimate with life itself, not just another person.
To do that, you need to learn to love physical contact, and maybe everything else will fall into place.
Seems really hard to treat though, you may need a special type of therapy.
>>17210671
Cont.
Or drugs
>>17210689
ecstasy actually really helped me out but I don't want to rely on a drug to feel functional and enjoy existing.
>>17210671
I have a number and plan on giving it a call to set up an appointment to see a therapist. I didn't really realize the extent of how much I was actually not enjoying anything until I tried out ecstasy and it was like a bunch of invisible walls were smashed down, a wet wool blanket lifted off of me, and I could interact with people and enjoy myself as if that's how I was supposed to be this entire time. I don't believe in masking symptoms with drugs though and would rather resolve this issue at its root.
>>17210699
I do think you should do ecstacy at least once in awhile to remind you of what it feels like to be alive.
You're not like others who just want to senselessly end it all. It sounds like you got a grasp on what's wrong with you, how it feels like to be fixed, plus you got a plan. Stay strong, my man.
I'm dating someone who is literally autistic ("high functioning", so basically asperger's).
I say things unambiguously, I understand if he needs to bail because some sensory thing is too much or he can't speak, if he doesn't feel like being touched at that moment I don't. It actually took me a long time to even get what the fuck autism was, but when I did I stopped being a douche and took it seriously.
We basically handle ourselves like two adults who talk about what we're interested in (anime, math, russian lit, true crime stories, making art) and have sex and it works out fine.
Worry not, you'll find someone.
>>17211063
This person I've been wanting to ask out is also pretty good on being unambiguous about what she wants and has been understanding if I need to leave a room or when I don't want to be touched. She doesn't quite understand why I nearly have a panic attack if anything sticky gets on my skin though.
I'm having a hard time though because, not only am I finding it impossible to read situations, I don't know if it's generally ok or just weird/awkward to ask this woman out as she's a close family friend. Our families celebrate holidays together and hang out together occasionally when we're all in town. I've known this woman for about a decade and we're about a year apart in age. Sometimes I think she's showing interest but then she'll tell me how she finds some other person attractive so I start second guessing myself.
The last thing I want to do is make it awkward to go to a family event if she's going to be there because I've fucked up our current close friendship. However, I'd like to be more than just good friends with her. The whole thing has really been fucking with me lately.
