I don't know how much I want to be with him anymore, it's really depressing. Been a long 8 years. We're in our late twenties now, together since high school. He used to strike me as very intelligent and well-spoken, but nowadays it seems all he wants to do is go party and be drunk all the time. I've become so unattracted to him that I don't even think much about sex these days. He recently got in a drunken brawl that I just... am categorically not thrilled about, I don't have any attraction to those men who like to get drunk and pick fights and have a severe alpha complex like that. He's hanging around people like that and it's rubbing off.
But here's the kicker, like, I still love him a lot. But at this point, I just don't think the love I have for him is enough to make me stay with him without growing resentment. We don't have very interesting conversations anymore. I don't feel we're an intellectual match anymore. I like nerds who stay home and talk pretentious bullshit with me.
I don't know, man. I don't want to drop him, but I don't think I'm happy with him, either.
What do you even do in that situation? Wait it out? Hope he gets this phase out of his system?
I also hate the fact that I don't have a lot of friends who I connect with conversationally like (I used to) with him, either, so dropping him is going to mean I'm kind of on my own until someone else comes along that I click with. I think there's enough NEETs here to know how long that wait can be.
I mean, I've got a few friends I connect with but it's kind of a nice bonus to have a friend you connect with that you're also down to plow with? Idk. I miss feeling like I'm in love with someone, I miss feeling like I have an "other half" of sorts. I have a lot of friends I can talk pretentious crap about, but... you know. It's different when it's someone you know you could reach for on a more-than-platonic level.
I suppose talking to him about changing his behaviour hasn't done any good?
>>17205680
Not much, really... We've had long, peaceful sit downs talking about how I don't care for his drinking problem / bar hopping and we've even had a few fights about it that had me spending the weekend with my family a few towns over (because I just did not want to be in the same house as him.)
It's crap. I don't want to leave him, but right now the more I think about it the more I feel like he's a lost cause. I'm still very in love with a person that, y'know, I don't think he wants to be anymore.
>>17205692
As a guy who was a different sort of lost cause, I can say that long-term, it's better if you split now. I had one relationship that ended far later than it should have, and one that ended right when it needed to, both because I had a bunch of personal shit to get in order. Kind of a shitty wake-up call, but now I actually feel like I've got my shit together - at least better than I did then. I almost got back together with the ex who dropped me when I needed to get dropped, but we realized that we did have a couple things that made us ultimately incompatible. I wouldn't have made that decision if I hadn't grown up.
If you guys realize down the line that you really are for each other, you can pick it back up. But don't plan on it. Actually break up. Be done and through with each other romantically do you can both start to heal and move on.
>>17205654
No, you don't love him. You've been with him your entire adult life; this relationship is all you know. It's fear of the unknown that's keeping you from doing what you know has to be done.
