Hi, 4chan. I have been with my boyfriend for several months now, and have given him oral on many occasions. I have worked so hard to get him to come through a blowjob and I did once, but it took about thirty minutes and hard, hard work. Lately, even with working just as hard, he can't come. I ask him what he wants and he says that I'm doing perfect and that its just hard to come this way. I feel bad because when he goes down on me, he makes me come in 5 minutes or less. I feel selfish. Basically, my question is, do any other guys have this problem? I'm getting discouraged and think that I'm a pussy and just suck it up, but I just give up a lot of the time. What can I do differently to keep from being so selfish? :-(
>>17204406
I dunno. I've never cum from a blowjob, but I came in pussy all the time. I just find it better, I guess.
Maybe he's like that too?
First, you need to stop blaming yourself and feel selfish. You put in all the effort you could, so you're not selfish. You were selfish if you were enjoying what you get and not try to reciprocate it. Guys have different sensitivity. How is it easy for him to cum?
Difficult, apparently. Takes him like an hour to come when he masturbates.
>>17204416
If he has sex wit you?
Anal?
No, we haven't had sex yet. I'm waiting to get on the pill, and we will both be each other's first.
>>17204420
I'm guessing that means you're both inexperienced in any form of sex?
I find it hard to cum unless I'm directing everything. So blowjobs don't make me cum unless I'm basically face fucking. Same with vaginal sex, can't cum if she's on top. Both are still super enjoyable, but yeah. Stop stressin'.
Inexperienced, yeah. But we both know what feels good. I mostly feel bad because I can't make him come and I also am not very good at the deep throating thing even though I try. It's nice to know other guys have the same issue, so I don't feel as bad. He still seems to enjoy it, but it's just frustrating.
>>17204406
Some dudes don't come from oral. I'm kinda in the same boat as its hard for me to come from blowjobs. Just take your time to develop some techniques. imo oral is more than mouth work. Use your hands,eyes and talk dirty. My gf knows to play with my balls and tell me to cum down her throat to get the job done. Figure out the thing
>>17204431
Don't worry about it. He'll cum from pussy and ass, and it's good that you cum so easily because it makes him feel like a man and won't cum before you do. You can cum 10 times in a row, he can only cum once.
He probably watched too much porn and has trouble ejac. tell him to give up porn for a week and he'll be exploding after just 5 seconds of oral.
guaranteed!
>>17204406
>Basically, my question is, do any other guys have this problem? I'm getting discouraged and think that I'm a pussy and just suck it up, but I just give up a lot of the time. What can I do differently to keep from being so selfish? :-(
No, that's normal. Blowjobs feel fantastic, I go from soft to hard in 5 seconds, but then it'll take me a solid half hour of hand and mouth work to make me jizz. On the other hand, when I get that butt under me and I'm grinding her, it takes me all of 15 seconds if I want it to.
Just don't worry about it.
Been in his shoes. It's porn.
>>17204439
>he can only cum once
>>17204467
Explain
>>17204476
>cum
>rest for a few munutes, eat her out or whatever
>get hard again
>repeat
>>17204484
>get hard again... in time
That's the hard part.
lol I dated this girl for three years she could never make me cum from bj we did a threesome with her friend and she made me cum in 10 mins my ex just has a small mouth and her teeth are too close to my dick id be more worried if he can't cum from fucking you
>>17204406
Don't sweat it. I can't ejac. from oral either.
Almost all women I've been with need to alternate between mouth and hands, and I can't remember the last time I came without actually fucking. Wait, I do remember...
>be late 20's
>married
>unhappy marriage
>sex life in ruins
>develop bad premature ejac issue
>sex life worse
>wife can go down on me for 1-2 minutes and I pop.
>"well, I guess that's an upside of your longevity issue"
>die a little inside when she says that
When you are ready for sex, this will go away, in the meantime, just think of it as masturbation assistance.
>>17204406
I was with my ex for 5 years, I can count the amount of times she made me come on one hand.
I got at least a couple of blowjobs a day (morning and evening when I got home from work), with the most in a day being about 7.
That was a lot of blowjobs over 5 years, usually I got myself off by wanking at the end.
And yes, she did enjoy them, never knew why, but I wasn't going to complain.
You have been together a few months, you aren't expected to be an expert from the start, if you want to know what he wants, don't say "what can I do better?", you have to be a bit more clever with your questions, like
>is there anything you would prefer I wear?
>is there a favourite part of anything you wish I did more of?
>would you like to try anything?
That said, you haven't lost your virginity, don't walk before you can run, enjoy exploring your bodies and what you enjoy before you go down the rabbit hole.
My bf has never cummed from oral before and it took me a solid 4 momths to figure out how to get him worked up enough to cum from it. Basically, he has to be VERY horny. If we haven't seen each other for a few days, it works best. Especially f he didn't jack off too much during that time. Then i know how to dress to get him going. Another neat thing to do is go out for dinner or a movie first. That way you'll be flirty and might only be able to hold hands, give light kisses in public. The sexual tension will be huge till you get home. Then, when you're home, basically devour him. He needs to feel how desperately you need and want him. Make out and do some grinding. Undress each other and do some groping or whatever. Then, when he's diamonds and in that "god damn, i need some hole to fuck, right now!"-mood, give him a blowjob that will blow his mind. He WILL cum. Probably faster than you might think. Two other tips for guys like that: use your hands! It might be some sort of death grip. My bf needs quiet a bit of friction amd great speed to be able to cum. More than i can give him with my mouth alone. And, like the other anon mentioned: let him dictate the speed. Make him stand up and kneel before him. Put one hand around his shaft, the tip into your mouth and the other hand on his ass. Then push him inside your mouth rhytmically. He will soon start to move on his own and probably get carried away by this. If so, move thw hand from his ass to hus balls and gently cup ad caress them. Or use both hands on his cock. Another tip is to gently create a vacuum. It makes everything more intense. Also, make sure he knows it's ok to cum in your mouth so he can relax and cum instead of being worried to tell you and pull out and shit. Godspeed OP
>>17204406
Yeah I am a guy that has this problem. Don't feel bad OP. It still feels amazing. My gf has a fetish for drinking my cum so I feel a little bad, but I manage to cum in her mouth sometimes. She also has a creampie fetish fortunately so it still works out for her either way I guess. The best sex we ever had was when we went on a 2 week vacation last summer. I was able to cum in her mouth regularly during the vacation. Something about having fun and just being out all day just made the sex great.
Hey lady.
He's desensitized.
It's because of porn. Sorry that didn't make him look very romantic. But you start porn at a young age and watch weird shit, you get desensitized to the point where you can fuck an hour and not gain the most pleasure.
Welcome to the ann
>>17205102
oying world of delayed ejaculation.
>>17204491
I often cum many times just by watching porn. Like, when I'm really bored and haven't fapped in a while, I make some 10 min breaks and go at it 3 times.
Live should be even easier to get aroused again.
>>17205102
I've been watching porno for like 20 years and I can still get my rocks off to a beej.
>>17205415
Probably cuz you never moved on to progressively weirder shit like these degenerates
>>17204406
A very common issue. Lots of guys can't come via BJs, even though they may enjoy them. The reasons are many, but are likely to fall into two groups
PHYSICAL - they require a particular pressure, rhythm, speed, point of contact or whatever, thagt you're not providing. This happens, for example, with guys who mastuerbate a lot and get used to the pressure/rhythm of their hands.
EMOTIONAL
Even in this enlightened age, some guys see BJs as essentially demeaning to the girl, and the more they love/respect you, the less they want to subject you to it.
Has not one person asked if you were watching your teeth?
Also, unless you're really going nuts with his dick, sex will always provide more pressure
Put your finger up his butt. I'm serious.
>>17204406
Do you do foreplay? Foreplay is literally 60-70% of sex.
>>17204416
Then you have no need to worry. He should see a doctor.
>>17205383
Have you ever actually had sex, like at all? Because sure, I can whack it 2-3 times in a row with only a minor rest, but post sex it can take me literally hours to get hard enough to penetrate again.
Some guys recover faster, but sex is definitely more strenuous and takes more recovery time.
Is he on antidepressant meds?
Those make it hard to cum.
Just thought I'd throw that in there just in case.
>>17204420
Fucking jelly.
>>17204420
ever heard of the condom?
OP he may be suffering from deathgrip. He's probably been so rough on his dick that it makes it hard for him to feel anything. Ask if he grips his dick tightly/is rough when he masturbates. If he is, tell him to lay off masturbation for a while or to go really light on his dick (which means he might as well not masturbate because he won't come) OR to buy a toy he can use, which probably won't be much better, until he gains his sensations back.
>>17205866
100% serious about this too. Someone I knew had it so bad he couldn't even come from a toy no matter how long he used it.
>>17205866
Maybe she sucks dick very bad?
Are you into it lady? Or is your style robotic?
It helps if he feels you like it.
>>17205796
What, how old are you, as your age goes up, so does the refractory period
>>17205893
27, and I had the same refractory period when I first had sex. Nothing has changed significantly for me in all those years, barring not being as interested in masturbation (because sex.)
I already know it varies from person to person, but sex is definitely different to masturbation.
>>17205919
Masturbation is sex without other people. Can we agree on that?
>>17204406
Hi OP; a few questions for you first...
>>Is he a masturbator?
>If he is how often/Is he willing to stop?
>>Is he cut or uncut?
If he is a masturbator it is likely your mouth isn't tight enough ( no one's would be ) to compare to his own grip. If he cuts out sexual activities for a while ( at least a month ) he might cum during his next blowjob because he's done a soft-reset so to speak. A woman's crotch is ( supposed to be ) tighter than her mouth and ( assuming you also have intercourse ) that might be why he can cum for that and not oral pleasures.
I myself had my first sexual experiences ( sadly abuse ) at nine and have been masturbating ever since. When I had my first proper sexual relationship I was unable to cum to oral and only able to cum to being vigorously ridden or vigorously thrusting. When I stopped masturbating I found I was more sensitive and it made climaxing easier.
As to whether he is cut/uncut it is because guys that ARE cut tend to be less sensitive. The foreskin does a lot toward adding pleasure ( and also lubrication ) so when a guy has no foreskin both he and his partner have to put in more work to get him to climax.
