I'm a girl
>meet girl on dating site
>talk sporadically for months
>finally meet up and have lots of fun, then she gets distant
>says she wants to be friends because emotional issues
>still wants to hang out
>still talks to me but she's distant and flakey sometimes
Is it solely her emotional issues and her depression? I like her I want to hang out more, I want to be her girlfriend actually but idk how to do anything
Girls usually say this if they are not interested. Don't be surprised if she goes out with someone next week.
>>17203428
Hmm
That's what I thought at first but like
She really seemed to like me and she liked kissing me and stuff I think....and she send me selfies here and there so...?
I'm still new to dating other girls so I'm terribly confused honestly
She straight up told me she has anxiety and depression but not to what extent so I'm not sure if I'm being hopeful or stupid
I like her so if I just need to be more patient I can so idk
>>17203437
Why don't you date guys? They are much more simple to be honest.
>>17203441
There are also dickheads.
>>17203443
Yes, but they are emotionally much simpler and easier to keep happy.
>>17203441>>17203447
They're simpler but I like women more lately
Besides how do you know I'm not just a lesbian who's just starting to date or something??
>>17203441
>just turn off your attraction to women and get a taste of cock, i'm sure you'll love it!
Fucking disgusting. What are you, 14?
>>17203454
You just admitted it in this post and you don't give off lesbian vibes. Also it's obvious that you are not really good at dating women and as a result know little about living in a relationship with them and what they really like. Women are more likeable on the surface, I admit that.
>>17203480
I'm a bisexual woman; I prefer women to men 65/35 but this largely irrelevant I made a post about a woman, your desire to have me date men doesn't help me nor is it a solution to my problem or the matter regarding which my OP is concerning
At the risk of being mildly rude, please fuck off.
>>17203420
>Is it solely her emotional issues and her depression?
Nobody can answer this question. You'll have to decide for yourself.
Go through all your old messages and try and make a judgement based on what was actually said and not on how you feel now simply remembering/thinking about it.
>>17203420
Being jealous and overemotional as well, my first thought in this situation would be that that's an excuse for her disinterest (flakey-ness is usually a red flag imo). However it kinda sounds like that's not it.
It's possible she doesn't want to make that connection for fear of what it could bring (mostly either over-attachment or pain).
A lot of people in the dating scene with 'emotional problems' (that aren't serial daters) usually have one big relationship, and then are desensitized for a while and aren't ready for anything until their next big relationship. If so she might be really mentally drained from the emotional residue from something. Or she might be thinking that you're looking for something casual, unaware that she's more of a roller-coaster ride than that.
Also you said she has anxiety; it's possible she's just shy, and hoping you'll keep taking the initiative. Even if she keeps not texting first or being busy, in that scenario it'd probably be best to keep making plans and such, in the hopes that she'll eventually feel comfortable enough to come out of her shell a bit more. I think that kind of social anxiety revolves around seeming desperate; if you're more persistent to someone like that they'll worry less about seeming desperate. But then if she doesn't think that way then you'll seem kinda desperate.
Just a couple of thoughts that come to mind, if any fit.
>>17203420
She obviously has problems and wants more attention then you gave her so I would just move on, I met a girl who did the same thing acted all cool an caring but always tried to hit on every guy or girl she could find then stopped talking to me once I refused to buy her a phone
>>17203542
thats the thing, how can i give more attention if she doesn't reply like half the time, or takes a long time to reply?
regardless of what she wants, it makes me feel like she wants me to go away
>>17203531
hmm
just looking at messages its a tough call, it's usually friendly and flirty.
>>17203532
>(flakey-ness is usually a red flag imo).
yeah, it is for me too.
>A lot of people in the dating scene with 'emotional problems' (that aren't serial daters) usually have one big relationship, and then are desensitized for a while and aren't ready for anything until their next big relationship
that sounds like her, she had a long term relationship for 3 or 4 years, and she's only 23; she lived with him and everything.
but i think that ended over a year ago
> Or she might be thinking that you're looking for something casual, unaware that she's more of a roller-coaster ride than that.
what do you mean?
> Even if she keeps not texting first or being busy, in that scenario it'd probably be best to keep making plans and such, in the hopes that she'll eventually feel comfortable enough to come out of her shell a bit more.
okay i'll try that. I dont want to text too often, since *I* dont want to seem desperate, but, hmm.
and I know she still talks to people on tindr and stuff, but from what she said she doesn't go out much, so idk
>>17203738
Bump
>>17204746
Bump
>>17203458
TRIGERED
>>17205902
kek
>>17203738
>I think that ended over a year ago
It can be a multi-year cycle or a very quick cycle, I don't think it's as much reliant on time as on her cognition
>What do you mean?
I mean that she might be hesitant about getting into something with you, because she might think you don't know what you're in for. She might be the kind of person that can only be either uninvolved or really involved. As such she might not want you to get yourself into deep shit by getting too close. Or maybe she doesn't think you're trustworthy with whatever affection she'd give you.
>I'll try that
Persistence is underrated in our society of being scared by desperation imo. If it gets to a point where you're not picking up on clear hints then maybe back off but otherwise she could very well just be feeling timid.
You sound confident enough in this that it's not super likely (but not out of the question) that she's not interested.
As a male, I can be of little help with girl/girl dating.. But I had encountered a girl of the same mindset. We were flirting like crazy for a few months then we started to hang out. I wanted something more serious, despite her having a son. She didn't want to because she was in a bad place emotionally because of her anxiety. I gave her too much attention and it pushed her away. We did have sex and hung out the day after. After that we never talked again and it completely ruined me..... I just wanted to tell you that you should continue to pursue her, but if she wants space give it to her. Just let her know that you do care for her and want to help her if she ever needs it. That alone could go a long way. Even if its like 4 years down the road..... I am currently in a long distance relationship with a girl I met 4 years ago and it took all that time for her to realize that I had always been there for her even after so many failed relationships. It may take time for her to come to you, maybe not 4 years but time. A little more insight, I've pretty much been in love with this girl since I met her, even when I was engaged to my ex-fiance I would still flirt, fiance never knew but didn't like me talking to her..
>>17207326
Alrighty thanks anon
I like her enough that I do want to keep trying
>sound confident enough in this that it's not super likely (but not out of the question) that she's not interes
Well
I have major depression myself so I can exhibit similar behaviors at times....I think me dating her would be easier than her dating me honestly----but I don't want to be an exclusive couple until after I know her better, I just want to see her more often atm @-@
>>17207385
Hmm that's an interesting point anon; maybe I should clearly state my interest and ability to offer support, then back off?
