Can you give some context?

>>17201708
When you hate someone, it's because you can't be indifferent to him. You have to convince yourself this guy is just a piece of shit and he doesn't even deserve any kind of your attention

>>17201708
I have a lot of experience with this, but no good advice unfortunately. I only hated someone until someone else took the spot in my mind formerly reserved for them. Now I don't think about the original person at all but on the downside this new person is a fucker.

>>17201810
This person was in my life for 18 years. I loved him.
2 years ago he lied to my face about something that was very important to me. As a result, I lost something/kind of someone, that was very dear to me. I haven't talked to him for 2 years. I want to not hate him, but I've never hated anyone before. (i thought being angry and hating someone were the same thing) So I don't know how to "get over" this.

He has told me a few times he'd like to talk to me.
I've tried thinking about LITERALLY every possible (even totally fantasy/utopia -tier) things he could say or do, but I can't think of anything that would ease my situation. I assume if he got to talk to me, it would ease his (assumed) pain. I don't see why I should talk to him if there's no way it would help me, only him. I don't think he deserves that much from me.

During these 2 years, I'd say that pretty much literally every single time I've thought about him (to find a solution) it's made me end up in such a state where I fear my own words/thoughts/actions. I hate him so much, and this hatred has consumed so much of me (and my time), that everytime I even think about him, I end up scared of myself.

>>17201826
He was a big part of my life. Others (whom I can only assume are wrong) have told me I should at least talk to him, that he's changed, etc. I don't want to think he's a piece of shit who doesn't deserve any kind of my attention, but I do.

>>17201708
Try to understand why he lied to you, that the error is human, that everybody can do mistakes and try to forgive because you're not perfect too (I guess).
I'll be able to take the risk to trust him again and the rest will be fixed by time

>>17201886
I'm by nature (and even more so, after this incident) the kind of person who is basically unable to trust people. Every cell in my body is screaming for me to not trust him (and actually anyone else either) again. I feel like that would be so very dumb of me.

The only reason I can think of why he did it (other than being just evil / imaginably selfish) - and this is if I give him an IMMENSE benefit of doubt - is that he didn't know this was important to me. If that was the case, he'd have to be clinically retarded, as I specifically asked him to promise me not to do it.

The error is probably human. I'd assume it was kind of "lust" or something like that, which impaired his ability to think rationally/about his promise to me/me.

I've thought about it a lot, and I don't know what forgiving means. I know people say they're sorry, and they get forgiven. But why this is done, and what this accomplishes, I haven't got the faintest clue. How do I forgive?

>>17201873
Just to rant, and because I'm a bit drugged up right now;
I'm the kind of person who doesn't like many things. I don't get excited about stuff (a few times in my life). There are not many times in my life of which I can say that I was truly happy during them.

He introduced me to a person who I honestly and deeply enjoyed spending time with. The person herself - evidently - wasn't a good person, but she was very good at spending time with me. I woke up each morning happy, and went to sleep at night smiling. She knew what I liked, and behaved accordingly. Even IF she faked that behavior to please me, I don't mind. The result was that I was happy.

This lasted about 6 months, until he ruined her, the time I had spent with her, and him, for me. I could no longer enjoy those things.