had sex for the first time in around 9 months yesterday, only managed a semi. When i'm alone at home with porn, I can manage a rock solid erection, but when i'm around a woman I tend to either lose it, or only manage a semi.
I'm not overweight, I work out and I don't smoke.
Any help?
>>17200315
bruh, i've been suffering through this since my first sexual encounter.
Sometimes it's fine, and I'm hard and it's great (i still don't think I get fully hard with any woman) majority of the time though, I get a semi or nothing at all.
I'm starting to think I'm gay. Or at least bi sexual.
I jerk off to tranny porn, and fantasize about sucking dick once in awhile, hbu?
>>17200315
did you do foreplay?
>>17200334
No I can't say i'm sexually attracted to dudes, never fapped to gay porn/traps etc.
I only fap to straight stuff, and when I do, i'm rock hard. So I don't know. I might try noporn and see what happens. I think it's nerves, but I can't seem to control them.
>>17200336
Yeah we did a lot
>>17200341
it might be the nerves. But we really cant be sure. Like you said, try going no porn for a while
and try talking to your girl about what you like in sex, fetishes, etc. Dont force her tho, it bad.
if its still the same, check up with a doctor. Not necessarily an illness, but better know what's really up with your dick right?
>>17200378
Well it's just a casual hookup. I've never had a gf, only ever casual hookups. I don't know whether it makes a difference. Sometimes after a while it improves. It's very hit and miss to be honest.
>>17200384
i'm the possibly gay dude that first responded.
I had a girlfriend for awhile and when we first started, I couldn't stay hard enough for sex. So, we'd just do blowjobs, which I would stay 100% hard for.
After awhile, we'd transition it into sex but it had to be a pretty quick from moth to vagina switch or else I'd lose the boner quick.
There were times when I still wouldn't keep a hardon even later in the relationship, but for the most part it cleared up, and I could get completely excited rubbing against her, and go directly from that into penetrating her.
Still not convinced it's as hard as I get, 'cause I see it at peak performance when I'm fapping
>>17200315
>>17200315
Dude have you been living under a fucking rock?
Why are you watching porn? In the past few years, there's been literally thousands of scientists and professors coming out and saying that porn will destroy your ability to make love to a real woman.
It rewires your brain to only be able to get hard by watching porn.
STOP WATCHING PORN. DON'T FAP UNLESS YOU HAVE BLUEBALLS. IF YOU DO NEED TO FAP, USE YOUR IMAGINATION, NOT PORN.
It's going to take around a month to rewire your brain. Within 30 days, you should be able to get hard with a woman again, but only if you stop watching porn, stop fapping to porn, fap less in general (Once a week max) and make positive changes.
Seriously dude, wtf. Don't look at porn even if you're not fapping, it's not healthy. Your brain is sensitive.
>>17200421
Here's the thing, I tried that advice myself a few months ago when my relationship was newish and I was having the same problem. After the second week I needed to fap, so I did the day before we hooked up again, had great sex.
Now I fap every day, generally to porn, and I always get a good erection with my girl too. I will lay off a day or two before I'm getting laid if I know, but my sex life has been way better since I started fapping again.
Think the research on this topic is incomplete at best.
>>17200431
How old are you?
I'm guessing you're under 21.
If you keep up your porn habit you will suffer:
>Erectile dysfunction
>Disconnect/not being able to be emotionally involved in the sex you're having.
>Premature ejaculation
>Small cum loads
>Loss of attraction
My advice is don't fap, especially to porn. Save your energy, and right before sex instead of fapping, have your gf give you a bj or a handjob. You should have made her cum at least once before she makes you cum.
After you cum, play with her pussy while she rubs your cock. Since you didn't fap recently, you'll be able to get hard again within five minutes, or sometimes even stay hard after cumming.
Porn does nothing good for you. Break the habit before it's too late.
>>17200421
not OP but I'm trying to do this
I've whittled it down to fapping 10 times per month. I did a whole nofap month a year ago but haven't been able to do it again for some reason (probably lack of gf).
Site-blockers don't work for me, but monthly reduction has (went from ~16 down to ~10 faps monthly).
Any other tips?
>>17200439
>>Under 21
Pffft! I wish. I'm 30, damn near 31.
>>17200421
OP here, thanks I will give it a shot. The trouble i've found before is that because I don't have a girlfriend or a regular fuck buddy, I can go for months without a fuck, so in the meantime I use porn as a sexual release. For example before yesterday the gap was 8/9 months, and this hookup was kinda out of the blue.
But it's been driving me mad, It gets me really down, so i'm going to give it a real good shot because I'm sick of feeling like this.
What kind of porn do you like and what are your favorite parts?
>>17200612
All kinds (except gay porn)
lesbian, hardcore, etc
Seriously lay off the porn, it has done wonders for me with this issue. Lay off the fucking porn, anon.
When im hard af i come so quickly,semi i can do it longer but i dont know it seems it isnt pleasureable to the girl that much,and might even lose it during sex which is a turnoff for women,even though it gets back in like seconds if you try. Sex is the most complicated thing in life.
>>17200817
Means you're cumming too often and your libido isn't at a good level.
If your libido is at a good level, if you do the things I said in my other posts, you will be able to cum and then get another strong erection again within five minutes.
If you're only getting semis then you're cumming too often and probably need to do more kegel exercises.
I also take a libido supplement which has herbs in it. Ginkgo is a big one, ginger, and a few others.
also avoid smoking before sex, even weed. If you're vaping it's fine, but smoke will lead to lower erection power.
Ok, here's the problem:
Having sexual intercourse with another person is very very different from fapping to porn.
It sounds like common sense, but there are pretty profound consequences. Both are very mental affairs, actually, but with porn you find sending that you find stimulating right off the bat and just fap. With sex, you really have to focus on either just enjoying the moment or on a particular thought when you want to cum - it's an in your head and you need your imagination. You don't get all the angles that porn has, you're not a porn star and neither is your partner.
It's also very different physically. With fapping you just find a comfortable position and start rubbing your favorite spot with the most efficient motion that you've used hundreds or thousands of times. With sex, there are a lot of exhausting physical motions and your partner is your hand - you can't control everything and not everything is going to feel "just right". Plus, you've likely found girls that look "just right" - the right shape of her hip, her ass, her thigh, the shape of her calf, the curve of her waist, a certain skin tone, etc. It's subverting you learn to do after getting used to browsing through porn for something that really gets you going.
Basically, by fapping to porn you're training your body to prefer a very specific type of mental and physical stimulus - not very good for when you're a real human being.
>>17201761
This.
With porn, the only thing you need to focus on to stay aroused is looking forward at the screen.
With sex, you have to be thinking of tons of things. Should I go deeper, is she wet enough, should I flip her over, should I tell her to lick my balls, etc.
It's like watching playthroughs of dark souls compared to actually playing it.
