While a friend was at work, she texted me about being hungry and said that I'd have to buy her food if I didn't stop making jokes about it. I decided to do a nice thing and grab her and a coworker some pizza as a surprise. This coworker's also living at her house right now and I'd been looking forward to meeting him. Based on things she had told me before, I thought they'd still be at work by the time I got up there with pizza, but then she told me she was at a bar closeby and referred to it by name. Okay, minor change of plans. I get there and based on his uniform, I recognize her friend outside smoking. I introduce myself, tell her I got them pizza as a surprise, and he acted like he didn't want to have anything to do with me and walked back inside. I go inside and she had an anxiety attack about the whole thing. I know it was just a joke, but I decided to act on it anyway because it was just supposed to be a nice, spur of the moment thing. I tried to play it off by saying life short's and I'm crazy and bored, and we didn't have a big argument or anything, but now I feel like she'll never think the same of me ever again and that I made a really shitty first impression with her friend. Should I feel bad about this or treat things like I'm on the higher ground?
Are you guys all autistic?
How the fuck do you have an anxiety attack because a friend bought you pizza?
If you bought me pizza, you know what'd I'd have? I'd have to thank you.
Please elaborate on this friends situation because you might be friends with some people with issues.
>>17200106
Never do nice things for people. Just forget it. I've done something similar where someone was joking about a thing and then I acted on it because I thought it would be nice and would surprise the person and the reaction was that I'm retarded and can't take a joke. So yeah, just ignore it and don't try to explain it or do anything to fix it because you'll probably do the thing that I did and fuck up things even more. Your friend was also overreacting.
It depends on who buys. An acquaintance buying me something without consulting me about it first (with maybe the exception of a birthday gift) would freak me out (I am not willing to accept handouts, and have turned down things a fuckton nicer than a pizza.)
However if it was a close friend or family member, and I'd easily eat half the pizza myself and enjoy every minute of it. But this is partially because I realise I will have ample opportunity to reciprocate.
People might call that autistic, but I heavy dislike the idea of being indebted to anyone in any way.
I'm gonna go off on a limb and say that OP is beta orbiting and verging on stalking. No where did OP say he told them what he was doing. So yeah, OP probably just popped in on their date and shit.
OP, tell people your plans first and ask if they're on board with it.
>>17200106
>xD you should buy me food!
>OMG buy me starbucks right now please im craving
>ugghhh come buy me a burrito haha
It seems all boring woman like to make empty-requests for things, as if it's some sort of conversation piece or interesting thing to talk about.
Id been friends with a girl for 2 years pretty decently. We both werent attracted to eachother but we got along well. I remember one day, after explicitly stating we both werent doing anything, she "wanted a slushie soooooo bad"
So I drove out, bought a slushie, and texted her a pic of me holding it. Immediately she replied "oh i was just joking." And completely changed attitude and mood to some weird shy/angry shit. She didnt even want it, and stopped talking to me for a few days.
>>17200203
>Hey, let's go get some slushies then!
Seriously. It's not that hard to ask instead of
>I see you wanted a thing
>I did it for you so you should be happy enough to show me *some kind of appreciation*
>implies payback with sexual favors
Nobody wants to be involved with somebody only being nice for stuff in return. Be straightforward and give the other person a choice so you two are on equal terms.
>>17200113
She said that it could be seen as weird because it seemed like I stalked her there. She'd have a point if I just came out of absolutely no where, but she told me where she was while I was on my way to the city they work in. Plus, I've known her for a good while now and we talk every day. She's a little shy and awkward sometimes, but I wouldn't call her autistic. She said she was sorry for not reacting the way she thought I would but to just tell her I was coming next time. I guess she just hates surprises, I don't know. I don't relate to her in that way but I understand it, this is possibly the most anxious generation ever. As for her friend, I don't know anything about him, but both times I tried talking to him he just acted like he didn't care, and I get the sense he already doesn't like me. Like I said, the intent was the surprise them just as they were coming out of work. We'd just chill and have pizza, seemed like a cool idea to me.
>>17200148
I like doing nice things for people, it doesn't matter if I don't get anything in return. Most people are assholes and I have the power to not be one, all I wanted to do was cap their day off with a fun surprise. You're right though, maybe I just shouldn't go out of my way as much.
>>17200173
Yeah, it was just pizza and we're really good friends. I told her it wasn't a big deal, there wasn't much else I could say.
>>17200202
I'm not interested in dating her and she's not interested in dating him.
>>17200203
That friend of yours might have been boring, but mine is pretty cool. It hasn't been the first time we've gone somewhere and gotten food or drinks on me, last night's circumstances were a little different but I still don't see what the big deal is.
Never surprise a woman that you're not in a relationship with. Even if you have good intentions.
>>17200233
You did stalk her there. Next time, just give her some notice. It's weird for girls when guys they're not intimately involved with start popping up without notice.
I don't believe
>I'm not interested in dating her
because you made sure to find out
>she's not interested in dating him.
>>17200249
I didn't tell her to tell me where she was, she just did. We'll just have to agree to disagree there. I also added the bit about her not being interested in him because of you saying I ruined their date.
>>17200266
That definitely wasn't a hint for you to show up unannounced. That was her way of letting you know she's busy if she doesn't respond.
>>17200274
The exact text was, "Just got off work, at [name of bar] grabbing a drink. What are you up to?"
Showing up unannounced is a given if you're trying to surprise someone. I just won't do it anymore I guess, too much room for misunderstanding.
>>17200106
For the first time, it sounds like everyone involved is a crazy douche and OP is an innocent sweetie.
I'd eat your pizza, OP.
What happened to the pizza?
>>17200444
Thanks, that makes me fell better about the whole thing.
>>17200467
I bought two, I wanted to get enough for all of us to share. They took one of them and we went our separate ways.
>>17200482
Maybe she thinks you are after her?
>>17200488
I'm not, and I don't really know how to bring that up without making things even more awkward.
>>17200494
Try killing yourself, that would make things less awkward for everyone.
>>17200685
Wow, great advice dipshit. Anyone else want to chime in with some brilliant thoughts along these lines? Way to ruin a thread with otherwise pretty helpful insights.
>>17200709
Eat girl, fuck bike, sell pizza.
>>17200714
I already ate the other pizza with two different friends a few minutes ago, at least they appreciated it.
>>17200721
Thank god, I was having visions of you wandering the streets crying into a pizza box trying to find someone who didn't recoil in inexplicable horror at the sight of it.
Sidenote: Maybe she was just mad because you forgot her drink.
>>17200740
I didn't take it that bad, but that's pretty funny. If anything, it was just confusing at the time. I still don't get why her friend acted so cold to me, but this thread has helped me reach a better understanding overall. I just hope I get an opportunity to make up for the whole thing.
>>17200113
haha, right? Seriously. I would thank her and grab a slice.
>>17200820
In spite of what nerds on /r9k/ try to say, people are different. That might be how you or I would have reacted, but I just ended up making her anxious. So, I need to keep that in mind and tell her what's up from here on out.
