/adv/, why do I feel self-conscious and embarrassed when my family tries to encourage me on anything?
For instance, I kind of want to start going running in the early mornings (5-6am, when it just starts to get light out) in the field behind the house we rent, but I just know that if anyone caught me doing anything that blatantly healthy they would say nice things or something when I'd really rather they just ignore it.
My psychiatrist and both the pdocs I see at the place I get ECT at all really want me to exercise -- my BMI is 22.6, so I'm not exactly fat or anything. (My diet is terrible, though.).
>pic unrelated, but it is very impressive
>>17199482
I'll give you a reply, only because I know how painful it is to seek advice and find nothing but crickets. Unfortunately I can't give you advice. I lack any experience in this field.
My best guess, although it's strictly a guess, is that it's a fear of having to keep up appearances. If you're complimented for your new running habit then you fear that you'll be rejected if you ever stop running in the mornings. It makes you feel trapped by social obligations and so you lose the freedom to decide your own schedule. That's merely a hypothesis, though.
>>17199482
For me, it's because I know I'm a quitter and I'd rather people see me start less things so that they see me give up less things. If this applies to you, my advice is to tell people regardless of how you feel, because this cycle is what is killing me. If you make quitting guilt-free, it's going to happen.
Why would not want encouragement on healthy habits? I'd take that over being laughed at and being made to feel guilty about it any day.
I have the same problem OP, and I don't understand why either. It's not just exercising but other "positive" things like, I won't clean the house unless everyone is out because I don't want them to thank me for cleaning or say something nice about it because I find it embarrassing. I won't exercise unless everyone is gone because I don't want them to see me and comment on it. The diet I've been on for a year, I had to pretend I wasn't feeling well and that's why I was eating less for the first few weeks, until people stopped commenting on it, because I didn't want to tell them the real reason and have them try and encourage me.
As for why, I have absolutely no idea. It's not for the reason other people have suggested, if anything I'm much more likely to keep up healthy habits if I can keep them secret because the embarrassment is a huge discouragement... My best guess is maybe it's because people encouraging it and trying to be nice means they think I need to change and I don't like being reminded that everyone thinks I'm a slob?
>>17199482
Probably because you somehow think it would taint your experience and it would be expected of you to keep it up and after a while you'd be doing it because "it's a good thing to do" instead of "I do this because I like it, fuck anything else"
It's a distorted perception nonetheless, talk to your psychologist to work through it. (cbt and all that)
>>17199482
I get embarrassed about things like that, too, particularly health/fitness stuff. Some of it comes from the fact that my family isn't really into that, but any encouragement they give me feels a little patronizing, even if it's not meant to be.
They praise me for doing things I feel are simple and worthless because I know others are much better ("I couldn't do that" is one of their favorite and my least liked phrases).
Anyway, my entire family is home due to the holiday, and I'm still lifting weights (browsing between sets) when I'd rather not because I feel it's more important to try to improve/stick to my schedule than to care what they think.
I guess at some point you have to decide to just do it for yourself and ignore others. It's easier, too, since it's just family; I probably couldn't go to an actual gym, but I'm more comfortable with my family than strangers.
