My friends were all talking about the boyfriends they had as teenagers and I'm really jealous. I wish I could have nice memories like that, all I remember is boys being forced to sit next to me and sexual frustration
How do I deal with this shitty feeling?
>>17199458
Lie. That's what they're doing.
>>17199458
Scars never heal, they only fade.
I'm in a similar situation, but it extends far beyond just boyfriends / girlfriends. I basically lived an entirely different life from all of my peers. I can't talk to anyone from high school without them mentioning names of kids who were known throughout the whole school who I never met or heard about. Everyone has favorite teachers, I don't remember any of them. Everyone talks about this summer trip or that party they went to. I spent my entire high school either:
>Getting bullied
or
>Hiding inside playing vidya
I have zero happy memories and relatively few memories at all. And it carries with you. In college you try to talk to someone interesting and they start prattling on about some sport they played or some community activity they were involved in and your heart sinks and you realize there's nothing interesting you can say about yourself. It will affect every relationship you will ever try to have and some nights it will hit you especially hard and you won't be able to get out of bed.
Time only marches forward. You can't "fix" your past. Once the rock is shattered, it will never be whole again. All you can do is wait and slowly the past hurts less and less.
>>17199458
>I wish I could have nice memories like that
This is going to sound sappy, but you need to be a kickass person now. And when you have attained some level of kickass (you never stop improving, grasshopper), you look back at all the shit that happened to you in live and you realize that you wouldn't be who you are without it, so you wouldn't change any of it.
Like, I doubt if you'd asked Chuck Colson about it he'd say he wished he hadn't gone to prison.
>>17199471
OP here, I had a similar time to you. I'm still dealing with the trauma but I don't want it to ruin the rest of my life.
>>17199574
How old are you?
>>17199471
REAL negative but I can't find any fault with your post.
Get rich OP, it's the only advice I have.
>>17199580
I'm only a couple of years older than you so don't worry too much there are better times ahead.
Up to a certain age or phase in life people always look back at things like high school and think that those moments were the moments that defined who they became as an adult. In reality that is mostly horseshit.
Once you get out into the real world. Get a full time job, go on holidays, find a boy/girl, you'll realise that the interesting parts are just starting. Most of your friends will figure out the same thing in time. The ones that don't may end up living a less fulfilling life because they are always looking backwards.
Don't worry. I was probably the same as you in high school. Now I hardly speak to people from school. All my friends are people I met after or people who never went to the same school/uni in the first place. People who care about having fun in the now not the fun they had in the past.
Teenage relationships are probably overrated. There's a reason most of them don't work out, and that reason is teenagers are silly at best, horrible at worst.
I deeply regret my teenage relationships. I was abused physically and verbally, cheated on, and ignored.
>>17199601
>think that those moments were the moments that defined who they became as an adult. In reality that is mostly horseshit.
Everything that came before decides who you are.
>>17199614
Utter crap anon. Once you get into the real world you will realize that shit like teenage flings are so pants on head retarded that you will just laugh and at most use them as anecdotal ice breakers when meeting new people. Who you are is who you choose to be moment to moment. Just because some chick cheated on me when I was 16 years old doesn't mean I'm going to judge every woman I meet as untrustworthy based on the hormonal whimsy of a teenage girl. Live in the past and you miss out on the present and cant look forward to the future.
>>17199458
it was like that for me too except it was girls being forces to sit next to me haha. i was really quiet in high school, and i never spoke to any girls at all. i didnt really gain confidence until i was about 18. im in england, we finish highschool at 16.
>>17199614
>Everything that came before decides who you are.
While most traits are carried on from childhood, its stupid to assume that is what youre stuck with
No wonder no guy wanted you, youre pessimistic as fuck
>>17199824
Not being wanted by guys is what made me pessimistic.
>>17199849
Step 1 to by wanted by guys: Be cute
Women have a one step process.
>>17199849
How do you know you aren't wanted by guys?
>>17199862
Because they literally couldn't stand being near me and if they were they would laugh at me.
>>17199458
All I remember about my high school relationships is horny boys trying to force me to have sex with the cheesiest lines, then they'd break up with me when I didn't put out. Then the boys still spread rumors that we fugged and my ego was shattered. Because if I said "that never happened" people think even more that it happened. Then when some girls think that happened, and it was a boy they liked, I'd get threatened to be beat up after school by psycho teen girls.
Not everyone has nice high school experiences. You are not the only person in the world who had boys be mean to them.
>>17199913
At least they were attracted to you.
Learn how to use makeup
>>17199937
I'd rather be completely shunned by the opposite sex in high school than feel used and objectified by them. They were attracted to me, but did they like me? No.
>>17199953
I'd rather be objectified than completely shunned.
>>17199953
no you absolutely wouldnt. if you knew what it was like to be shunned you would never ask for it
>>17199953
>>17199966
boy problems and girl problems.
>>17199937
>>17199966
Let me give you some advice, bucko, start being empathetic to other peoples feelings. The feelings you feel from "being shunned" are just the same as the feelings she feels for being objectified.
Start being empathetic and I guarantee people will like you more.
>>17199970
> The feelings you feel from "being shunned" are just the same as the feelings she feels for being objectified.
They're really not. She wouldn't know what it's like to feel subhuman, with the very concept of having a sexuality a joke.
At least she got to feel like a proper person.
>>17199970
Also
>boy problems and girl problems.
I'm a girl too.
Except I didn't get to feel like a fucking girl all throughout my adolescence. Unlike her.
>>17199458
>>17199970
Also, I can guarantee you that the feeling you feel is the same as every other person here, and to a larger extent everyone on /r9k/
The trick is to find the good points of your adolescence. There has to be some. I missed out on a lot of shit, but according to my current girlfriend I experienced everything in high school except losing my virginity. Which I lost at 17? I had a lot of girls that liked me, but I was too dumb to realize that when a girl messages you on AIM at 1:00 am saying "my parents aren't here, you should come over" basically means "I want to suck your dick if you walk to my house in the middle of the night."
I mean did you ever go camping? Do you have a hobby you enjoyed? I think you need to just accept the past, realize there is absolutely nothing you can do to change it and focus on your happiness in the moment. It is kind of cliche but "just do you"
>>17199989
You don't think being objectified would make someone feel subhuman? You need to spend more time talking to people and actually listening to them.
Think about what that poster said about guys lying about sleeping with her. Basically her worth comes from being seen as a sexual conquest. Her existence is only for guys to get a nut up.
That is a very sexist and demeaning way to view or treat a person. You can feel very isolated and valueless from that.
>>17200004
I'm a grill on the internet too. :^)
>>17200026
Being objectified is part of being an attractive girl, it's an affirmation of your personhood if all the other girls around you are being objectified.
Basically I'm tired of everyone feeling sorry for girls like her, no one gives a shit about foreveralone shunned girls like me.
She would never understand what it's like to be completely shunned.
Also >>17200004 is also me.
Why are you assuming I'm a boy? Because a real girl wouldn't have these problems right? Can you see how hurtful that is.
>>17199458
Honestly my opinion coming from a guy okay?
As a teen most guys are dicks and want sex, they see you for your looks, later on as looks fade they want someone who's a real person because if i wanted to look at something i would buy a statue
I never chased girls because they are mostly vain and shallow, im attracted to a personality and thats my type and i got a gf who was bullied and pretty much had your mindset but she made a move and expected to be shut down
I doubt you have no value as a person so dont give up as you will find someone
Those you didnt live life talks are stupid and dont listen to it
Also
I have a male friend who's the "cute" boy and hes frustrated as fuck because no girl saw him as a sexual partners but a friend, i have 2 female friends who never dated and are great girls but they never put out and didn't want casual teen relationships, they are 20 and have nobody now and any guy would be lucky to date them as they are the full package but they still cant find anybody because people are to shallow at that age and those girls have to wait for later on
>>17200047
Your gender is irrelevant. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and lashing out at other people because their problems don't seem as bad as yours.
THERE! You're fixed.
You're an asshole. Thats what is wrong with you.
>>17200178
It's normal to lash out if you ask for help with a problem but then someone more important than you overrides your problem with their own, because they're more valuable
oh fuck this thread hit me right in the feels
this shit has been preoccupying my mind for a while now. my life up to the end of highschool was pretty goddamn empty, no parties, few friends, no girl experiences, vidya all the time). after I went to uni I managed to make some more friends and memories and fugged a few girls but when I hear people talk about their uni years I just get depressed as fuck, feeling like an empty bag of thrash.
So here I am almost 25 and I feel like Ive wasted the literal best years of my life and its too late to change that. Do you think its possible to attain a more exciting life at this point or should I just try to get used to being an empty shell of a person?
>>17200271
Well similar but i had a single relationship from 18-20, its been a year now and i got nothing
Girls in college are shallow and uninteresting, im not into the casual sex culture or clubbing
Almost everything is fine except how lonely i feel all the time and no amount of love yourself bullshit fixes that
