Long story guys, please bear with me I need some advice for this situation.
About a month ago, I hung out with my lifetime friends and two of my friend's brothers who occasionally hang out with us. I usually get a long with them even though one of them (let's call him John) is kinda weird and usually goes too far with his jokes. We were all hanging out when suddenly a friend of mine mentioned that my girlfriend looked hindu, Which John suddenly exclaimed "No wonder she smells like shit!!". Some of my friends chuckled a bit others were somewhat shocked by his comment. I was shocked by his comment as well, and got very visibly angry for his stupid remark, but I stopped myself from calling him out because his brother's girlfriend was there and I didn't want to make a scene so I let it slide and swallowed my anger.
Long story short, after a two weeks I was still upset at the guy so I spoke with my girlfriend about it, and she was also taken aback (obviously) by his dumb comment. Later, we went to John's brother's graduation party. I took my girlfriend to the party and we all had a good time, at the end of it though when it was just my girlfriend and I outside chilling, we spotted John, at this time my girlfriend took this opportunity to ask him why he said that stupid comment which he denied ever saying and he started visibly sweating and kept denying these claims.
After a minute or two of denying it he finally said "OH! I remember, sorry..." by this time, the friend that had previously mentioned that my girlfriend was a hindu was there standing with her girlfriend and they just kept quiet. So we all left at the same time.
After that experience, my girlfriend decided to apologize to him online for putting him in a uncomfortable spot which he replied by saying that it was okay and he promises to never do it again. (.cont)
Yesterday however, in our friend group chat I had joked that a certain game was shit,and whoever liked it had shit taste, which he replied by saying that dating my girlfriend proves that I have shit taste. and he later kicked me out of the group chat (we usually kick each other out for fun).
I didn't like his comment so I PMed him telling him that I do not appreciate him saying those disrespectful comments about my girlfriend and I would appreciate it that he stops saying those things because I find them in poor taste and I also said that I did not call him out before when he said that my girlfriend smelled like shit because I did not want to make a scene which he then replied that we needed to talk in person.
I agreed to his suggestion, but instead he started chimping out in the chat telling me that I should apologize because putting him on the spot in the party was worst, and that he had spoke with all my friends in my group and they all agreed that what I did was pretty shitty.
I mocked him by saying that its kind of funny that he made himself look like a victim of some sorts, when all I wanted from him was just a simple apology or him to just say "It's okay man, I won't do it again". Instead he kept complaining and calling me a sniveling bitch for telling my girlfriend everything and that I should own up for my mistakes and that I cannot hang out with them anymore if I don't learn to let go of my grudges, because holding something in makes me the bad guy. After a while of trying to reason with him and telling him that I would rather talk in person he just decided to not reply.
I decided to tell my version of the story to my other friends, I don't usually like talking about my problems with people but I felt like I wanted to confirm if John's claims were true that they all think that I am the bad guy in the situation.
They told me to specify what they have spoken about me because they claim they always talk shit about everyone (cont.)
>>17198608
I tried to refresh their memory about it, and they said that they remembered and that I should've handled the situation better and I should have never had called him out and they also said that getting mad over this and PMing him over something so minor is stupid. It seemed to me like my friends were siding more with him.
Regardless, sorry for the long post, I just wanted to know, if I should talk to all of them in person, specially with that guy to clarify things, right now I believe that they have a separate chat where I am not in it and they talk about this. Our original group chat (I was brought back) is dead now.
So what do you all think? Am I wrong? Or is he?
Jesus man, there's more? You consider maybe typing all this out ahead of time and posting it in chunks when you're done?
Dude is a douchebag, plain and simple and if he respected you as a friend, he wouldn't have kept talking shit after the first time.
Don't hang with him anymore 1w1 and only speak to him in a group as necessary (yes and no answers). If he talks shit on your girl again, bust his fucking nose in.
>>17198620
Your friends are worthless two-faced shitbrains. Break his nose to teach him what talking shit brings and find new friends who do not sympathize with mouthbreathers.
>>17198636
This, your friends are a bunch of cunts
>>17198624
>>17198636
>>17198685
Thank you all for the replies, I really appreciate it and sorry for the long post it really was on the spot! I am planning to talk to the guy when my group is around just to reaffirm my position on the matter and to show him that I am not joking around about it. However, I must admit, it bums me to know that my friends probably talk behind my back, I know the most logical answer would be to cut them off completely, but like I mentioned before, they are lifelong friends, I guess I am just afraid of losing them over something that could've been easily solved if that idiot would have kept his mouth shut, but in the end I might have to do it for my own good if I see that they are getting shitter. Anyways, thank you once again for your replies. I wish good vibes to all of you.
