I'll try to make this short. I don't think I'm depressed, but I'm worrying about how much I push everything and everyone away. And I can tell that I'm starting to like less and less. I'm thinking of seeing a therapist, but I've never been to one before. And I'm incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of someone trying to change me, and of opening up. I've always thought that our faults are just a side effect of our positive qualities. And I'm worried that getting help for my faults will somehow get rid of the things I like about myself. Not to mention I have no idea how to talk about my feelings. Too used to sorting out my own messes. So, yeah. For those who have been to a therapist, or work as one or something, what's it like? And when do I know I need it?
therapy is alright but it depends on the therapist a lot of the times. When I go I am very blunt on how I feel and think, and my therapist helps me understand why I think the way I do and do the things I do. It is very cathartic and helpful in stopping the habits that hold me back from being a person.
I don't understand what you mean by, "I'm worried that getting help for my faults will somehow get rid of the things I like about myself". If you don't like your faults, especially ones that can be changed, why would you not get help? I go to therapy because I am extremely depressed and if I let it sit and simmer within me, I become an awful person I cannot stand being.
There's nothing wrong with getting help if you feel like you cannot do it on your own. Pride is considered a sin for a reason friend, and it can hold you back if you let it.
>>17198490
I guess I'm just reluctant to part with any part of myself, even if it's bad. Like a game of Jenga or something, I can't help but think if one part of me is pulled out, the rest of me will have to find a new way to sort itself out. And that new self won't be me. Not to mention I'm so used to things working themselves out, or finding ways to be happy, that I'm not entirely convinced I need therapy. Or at least, convinced enough to actually look for a therapist. I don't know, I'm just really hesitant towards the whole thing
But you're right. I shouldn't let my pride stop me from getting answers. Any tips on looking for a good therapist?
spoiler: it doesn't
>>17198521
I get you man. I've come to learn that I am very comfortable with myself, especially the shitty behaviors I developed to cope with the trauma I experienced growing up. It's kind of scary trying to change, as you won't always know if that change will be good or bad. Sometimes though, you just have to bite the bullet and go for it. It isn't always so bad if when you change something, the rest of you changes to accommodate. Isn't that what happens when you figure it out yourself?
I think you should at least try it once before coming to a decision as to whether or not you should seek therapy. As for looking for a good therapist, you should look around your area and see who is who. https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/ is a good site to find therapists, but I don't know if you're in the United States or North America. I was lucky with finding my therapist through my Brother seeing him when he was a kid.
Good luck man; I think you will find the help you need.
>>17198475
Pyschologists are taught about how behavior works though whether or not you believe psychology is a science, though, is another matter. But it does have theories on as to why you tend to do some things. Check out priming.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRAKt0GakJM
They then apply those theories to your situation. Like >>17198490 said, the efficacy of the therapy depends on the therapist. Some therapists will apply what they learned, as they should, while some will just listen and give out advice as a friend (whether you want to pay for that is up to you).
I've been to therapy before. I was under so much pressure that I was already muttering to myself and she explained to me that it was due to repressed emotions. She nailed that. I was going through a very messy falling out with a woman and I told her how it happened and she gave me some personal advice, motivational talk. I don't know if that's part of her training or just her opinion. But, as ashamed as I am to admit, it got to the point I was chatting her up on FB on every small development.
I don't know how I could've dealt with that situation without her.
>>17198552
Thanks, man. I really appreciate that. Not to get too sappy, but I was starting to think I was just being stupid about not wanting to change. And you understanding actually really helps. Feels good to have someone understand and connect, not used to it. Usually used to people being confused, which might have been contributing to why I was reluctant. But if therapy is like this, then I think it will help.
>>17198563
Thanks for the link, I imagine it'll take awhile to find a therapist I'm comfortable with, but having details about exactly what it is a therapist does helps.
