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FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Old Thread:>>17190477
>>17196793
Do girls notice if you wear the same hat and shoes everyday.
Never had a girlfriend so I don't really get to hear it from women.
I keep good hygiene. And grooming
I just wear the same shit all the time and a significant portion of my clothes are old and fading
I honestly don't give a shit i put most of my time into grinding for $ but cant help but think its the reason i havent gotten laid in 9 months
So I have a friend who came from an abusive family, and has issues with establishing healthy relationships. I often invite her to family affairs because they're welcoming people and she seems to be really enjoying it, and has thanked me for it.
However now my aunt has this shipping fantasy between the two of us. I really like her as a friend, but I'm not interested. Doubt she is either anyways. My aunt won't cut it out. What do you even do in this position? I've just been ignoring her hoping she'll cut it out to no avail.
>>17196813
They don't care. As long you're well groomed.
>Went to a house party yesterday
>Met this girl. She was really cute. We talked for hours about a lot of stuff. There was definetely some chemistry.
>Asked the hostess about the girl, told me to go for it.
>When she got into the bathroom I got in with her and I kissed her, then we started making out but from time to time just stopped me, saying things like "You don't really know me" or "we should take it slower, start to get to know each other" aaand "I have a boyfriend, but... i'm confused...". Also said something kind of weird "I'm not hiding from anyone, I don't care if they see us getting out together from this bathroom but I'm sort of worried because a lot of girls from this party have seen me kissing their friends in the past..." (???)
>As the party unfolds and time goes by, we get more separated: She stays at this room with a lot of people and a guy singing terrible pink floyd covers, I stay at this other room playing music on youtube and dancing like crazy with my friends
>From time to time I go to check on her but she seems to be more into singing than into me
>A couple of times she came to the room I was and kissed me, or holded my hands, but wasn't really just there because of me but because she was going out with other people to buy more beer
>I left the party an hour after my friends there did. I was getting bored. The girl was still singing terrible pink floyd covers.
So now I feel conflicted. Do I do something, like adding her on facebook and casually messaging her? I feel like maybe something else would have happened if I stayed longer...
But at the same time, with all that stuff about her having a boyfriend and that kinda shit, and feeling sort of unattended from her, i feel the ball's on her roof now. She wants something with me, she might make a move. After all, it's not that hard to find on the internet (We already exchanged Instagram's, but not facebook address/mobile phone's)
I don't know what to do about this
Guys, I just wanted to thank everyone who gave me advice on my post here >>17097470
I did make the first move on my male friend; he cooked me dinner and we ended up making out on his bed and we're a couple now! I've never been happier.
A guy left me and one of the biggest reasons was that we were too different. He likes to drink, smoke, play vidya. I don't use alcohol at all, don't smoke, I read, buddhism is close to my heart and so on. Could it be just that being similar is important to him or are there guys that would like me even if they didn't like the stuff I like? Or should I try to find a guy who doesn't drink, reads literature and so on..?
>>17196876
Congratulations!
What did he cook to you?
>>17196879
Thank you!! He made me chicken curry with apples and I brought a bottle of wine as liquid courage. He's a great cook!
>>17196878
Go for a guy you like. Interests just give you common ground to do things together, they don't make or break the relationship.
If he dumped you saying its because you don't drink or smoke it either controls his life or he was looking for an excuse to dump you due to a lack of interest.
>>17196908
Yeah, he did drink a bit too much. Well fuck, now that I think about it I didn't have that much in common with my other ex either and it worked out well. Thanks for advice!
Is depression really that much of a turn off? I'm depressed because I'm lonely, I try to meet girls and fail which gets me even more depressed, how the fuck do I break this circle?
>>17197005
Not at all a turn-off to me, but i'm a dude with chronic treatment-resistant depression so i'm not the best person to answer
Regardless, depression is incredibly common compared to say, schizophrenia. Your chances of meeting a fellow depressive when you ask out a random girl are about 1 to 10 in the US.
Girls one question if a guy you are talking to comes out as kinda fucked up so to speak, do you go like NOOPE?
Talked to a friend of a friend and we ended up talking about our problems and i may have gone overboard with it, needless to say i didn't get laid, i wasnt trying to but still.
>>17197117
Depends on what it is and how much I like him up until that point.
>>17197059
I'm not talking about meme depression like "ugh chad didn't fucked me tonight so sad ;_;" more like having daydreams about blowing my brains out or stabbing my self in the neck tier depression.
>>17196876
Congratulations and good luck
I said this once ill say it again
Thanks to the girls who make the first move
If you want him to to make a move just make it yourself
>>17197005
Depression isn't a turnoff (unless it's so severe it's preventing you living your life), but saying shit like >>17197142 is.
>>17196876
Hope all happy people die horrible deaths
>>17197146
>Thanks to the girls who make the first move
>If you want him to to make a move just make it yourself
I second this
>>17197148
Yeah guessed being suicidal is unattractive, I've been depressed since I was 11, can't fix it, I'm going insane from loneliness and sexual frustration, more I try to fix it and try to get girls more I fail, more I get depressed. It's a vicious cycle I can't break, every night I go to bed wishing I die in my sleep.
>>17197148
>saying shit like >>17197142 is.
Because most girls are fine with a theoretical thing like "depression" can't handle the gory truth?
Unfortunately that's probably true, as misogynistic as it sounds.
Probably applies to the majority of guys as well.
>>17197146
>>17197158
Thirding. Many girls are apparently afraid of being judged for it, but most guys just think it's brave and awesome.
>>17197164
Dunno i never found it unattractive as i dont have much will to live, i hide it and keep on going anyway
My ex was suicidal and it took me a year of stopping her, sitting in the bathroom holdong her while she was laying on me crying half naked and bloody, grabbing her and holding her until she cried her face off and not letting her go until she calmed down
Come to think of it it was a lot of holding in general but you get the point
Id do it again if i had to
>>17197164
If you're trying to get girls by saying you're suicidal then stop. Its incredibly unattractive.
>>17197185
Brave
Awesome
Flattering
And a huge eye opener as most of us wont get hints and signals
You could throw a lightning bolt at my face and i would still miss the spark
Guys and girls
Where did you meet your current bf/gf?
I know places to meet people is in the OP but I wanted to know some 'stats' for the lack of a better word.
Would you hit it?
https://www.okcupid.com/profile/Deccaasaurus/?cf=profile
>>17197202
Not like I come out and say "hey I wanna kill myself wanna go out", it just seeps out little by little no matter how much I try to hide it, I get tired of acting sometimes and put my mask down then everything goes to fucking hell after that.
I was talking with this qt girl for a bit, made plans but ultimately I bailed cause work and school got super busy. We're talking about but my flakiness from last time hasn't been brought up. Should I say a quick apology? Something like "Hey, I'm sorry I flaked out last time we were talking."
Guys or girls.
I need help staying strong during no contact.
Background: Gf and I broke up two weeks ago. I was in a bad place and wasn't being the person she fell in love with. She said she still loves me and wants to talk soon, but right now we both need time apart to fix ourselves.
She messaged me a few days ago saying she missed me, but she's still not ready to meet up. I told her let me know, and went back to no contact.
My instincts are shouting at me "Ask her to meet up with you tonight! Only for ten minutes! Message her!" but everybody tells me if I want her back, I have to let her come back on her own. Otherwise it won't last.
Help please. Any words of advice will be appreciated. I'm 90% sure I should stick with no contact, but 10% of me is saying I'm going to miss my shot if I don't meet up with her soon. If she wanted to meet up, she'd let me know, right?
PS I know she's not seeing anybody new or is interested in anybody. She is very conservative about dating. We have tons of mutual friends, and if she were seeing someone new I would know.
>>17197209
Cute face so yeah
>>17197208
I met her because
My sisters best friends sister had a friend who's gay friend became my friend and she knew a girl who was like me and she dragged me on some one and only time weeb meetup with her, we met, after a month we got together
You know thst love at first sight crap? Yeah i was surprised but it happened to a 18y kissless autistic virgin
Im 21 now
>>17197233
Honestly? I messaged a girl like that once
It worked
A week later she said thst she made a mistake
But again she was a depressed girl with severe untreated BPD so it might be different
>>17197208
Mutual friends
>>17197203
>And a huge eye opener as most of us wont get hints and signals
This holy shit. Girls massively overestimate how obvious their signals are.
It's not just the autists, literally every dude i've met has had trouble understanding them.
>>17196793
>Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
Every women without an exception likes big cocks and would leave you in a second for a bigger one, you can make it as a manlet or average looking guy if you're hung but they literally see you as a less of a man if you have a sub 6" cock.
>>17197246
Same with girls
My sister lost a friend because he wanted to date her she was oblivious
My female friend hurt a few guys over not noticing anything
I managed to hurt 2 sweet girls because im a retard
Yes if a girl leans towards you and is sitting close to you, really close and trying to hold your hand you should kiss her but my autistic ass was confused because she was acting weird
But srlsy most guys won't pick up on it at all
>>17197251
The truth is most women don't like HUGE cocks. They like slightly above average cocks.
What's more attractive to you? HUGE basketball sized breasts with pepperoni nipples, or perfect sized smaller breasts with small nipples?
The preferred cock size almost world wide is a little over six inches.
My dick is 7" and every girl I've been with says "you're too big, it hurts" and I can't penetrate all the way. But I mostly fuck petite girls.
>>17197263
Tits are not their main sexual organ for giving pleasure. They might all say "oh I don't like big dicks they all hurt thehe" then release the waterfall in their panties when they see one, fuck this earth and the fucking genetics.
>>17197263
This is true, not that anon btw
As a 6'4 guy im 7.5 inch and im too big for girls, my ex wanted rough poundings but after one of those she wanted slow and gentle love making for days as it hurts too much
On the topic on boobs?
Small and big, i like me sone nipples on them
>>17196861
Why does this bug you in the first place?
My best friend is a girl, she's a lesbian. For the longest time, her mom and aunts were hinting hard they wished were a couple (her mom in particular was pretty in denial), my mom would drop similar comments too, even random strangers would sometimes assume we were a couple (and we wouldn't bother to correct them because sometimes it's way less of a pain in the ass to just nod your head than to explain for the umpteenth time you're not a couple and just friends and get the, "Oh, why not?" line of inquiry... when it isn't any of their business in the first place). Absolutely no fucks given.
As long as you both know what you are, who cares--you certainly shouldn't.
Failing that, "It's not any of your business" with a dead tone and impassively stern look works wonders.
>>17197164
>>17197185
No, it's the fact he wants people to accept him despite his depression, but then dismisses the possibility that other people could be depressed and says they're just whining. He doesn't sound like a pleasant person to be around, and it's not because of the depression.
>>17197209
as if you stand a chance, you creepy beta fuck
>>17197208
Sat next to him in class, got chatting, became friends, a few years later he asked me out.
>>17196871
Can anyone help me with this?
Ladies, in brief
>Be big mixed race dude
>Have tiny little blonde gf
>Get really drunk together last night for anniversary
>Ask her for anal
>She says yes
>Bad decision after bad decision
>Minimal lube + lack of sensation due to alcohol = bad
>Notice she's bleeding after a while of us going at it rough
>She has rectal trauma
>Actually had to take her to the hospital for anal sex injuries
How to apology gift?
Guys and girl, state which
How do you differentiate
Girls from women
Boys from men
Whats the difference, im really interested in how people perceive it and whats the difference for both genders and why
>girl tells me to call her
>call her
>no answer
wat do?
don't wanna look desperate but she did ask me to call her
girls, is having a babyface a turn off for you?, while im tall, im 21 (almost 22) but i look like a 15 year old kid and a fuccboi
>>17197385
>Girls from women
Body language mostly.
>texting guy everyday
>dont respond to him one day cause got in car accident
>texts me "i see"
>text back and explain situation, hasnt opened my messages (whatsapp)
>its been 3 days now, what do? what should i text him?
>>17197532
yeah that means nothing to me im afraid
Question for women (adult women I guess since I'm around 30) about their sexuality: Is it possible to find a woman who enjoys and looks forward to sex mainly within committed relationships?
Reason I ask is that everyone I've dated has fallen into exactly two categories:
1. Views sex as something you do in a relationship, but has little interest in actually doing it.
2. Looks forward to sex, but views it as something you do any time, with anyone, often many at the same time and possibly on camera.
I'm a huge pervert but I tend towards the monogamous side of things, and so far I haven't found a good match for that. It's either "not tonight we did it last month" or "this was as much fun as the swinger parties I go to."
>>17197503
Call her again
>>17197622
im a woman and i want lots of monogamous sex
>>17197622
I am a bit younger (24) but I am like that.
I want to have sex all the time, but not with anyone - I had just one partner, my long term boyfriend.
>>17197533
Sounds extrmely immature.
Try to text him again. if he acts like a little bitch, cut contact
>girl I've never really talked to friended me on facebook a couple days ago
>have a few mutual friends and seen her around my co-op a few times
>sent her a message asking if she wants to get coffee sometime (sent ~5 hours ago) (don't see her consistently so asking in person wasn't practical)
No response for this long is a bad sign, right?
>>17197710
Forgot to mention that her friend is moving out soon and that I tend to keep to myself. She *may* have friended me because she doesn't have a better way of showing interest.
>>17197710
Depends on how active she is on socials.
My best friend says that the day she'll get a reply from me in less than 12 hours she will go and buy a lottery ticket because it's her lucky day.
>>17197725
Well Facebook messenger marked my message to her as 'seen' as the same time that it was sent so she saw it pretty quickly
woman, if i like you and i have a feeling that you like me too but im not entirely sure, is it retarded to ask your bestfriend (who i am also friends with) about it?
i have a HUUUGEE fear of rejection and i dont wanna risk myself until im 90% sure that the outcome is going to be positive
>>17197756
Yes. My best friend is going to tell me, you'll sound like a pussy that likes middle school drama, and, if I am not crazy for you enough to find it sweet, it will be a turn off.
>>17197752
not that guy but thats a pretty bad sign IMHO, i think you should just wait for the worst as in pretend nothing will happen and move on, and if she does answer eventually then good for you but take it with a grain of salt
>>17197761
i AM a pussy, i knew the idea was retarded as soon as that it crossed into my mind, besides our mutual friend cannot keep a secret so she obviously would find out
fuck it i think im going to ask her out, i mean its a part of life, you arent always going to win
>>17197263
this is true, for me it might be even smaller than 6 inches? like literally average seems to be perfect
my current partner is smaller than my ex and at first I was concerned (more about choosing the right positions etc. than disappointed), but now that I got used to it the sex actually feels better, I can do it more often and it almost never hurts
I think being uncircumcised is actually more important, I don't understand why people do it to their children
My ex and me broke up a few months ago and stayed friends
We are talking now and then and I want to be with her again
We never talk about our past relationship, our current relationship or what it will become in the future
Since I want to make a move, should I flirt with her like the first romantic relationship never happened ? Or talk about our past ?
Also we talked about sex once, about a fantasy she never said she had when we were together, but never of romantic feelings
Meeting up with my ex tonight.
Haven't seen her in a month.
I want her back. How do I act? What do I do? What do I say?
I'm picking her up and we're going on a drive.
Why is it impossible to find a skinny girl who likes cats and is not a slut?
>skinny
>cat lover
>not slut
Pick 2.
>>17197951
>>17198012
>I want to get back with my Ex-girlfriend
Both of you answer yes or no to these three questions/statements:
1.) Has the principle reason for our break up been resolved since then?
2.) Have we BOTH had enough time to grow and become different people?
3.) My loneliness is not a factor in why I want to get back with her.
If you answered anything but yes to ALL of those: Move on. You are not ready yet and you'll just repeat your the cycle that lead to your breakup--only it will probably be worse.
>>17197756
Ask her directly and get over that pathetic "fear".
It feels pretty bad but you'll first get over it then get used to it.
>>17198054
>>17198054
I did answer yes to all of those.
We've both had plenty of time to grow and heal, the bad blood has dissolved, and I'm not lonely. I'm in a great place in my life, I'm actually excited to show her the "Me 2.0" and how I've embraced the change.
>>17198066
Which one are you? The one who broke up a few months ago, or the one going on a drive?
FYI, a few months isn't enough time to grow. You probably need like a year minimum more like 2-5+ years because your situations NEED to be radically different for a rekindling to work--ESPECIALLY if the reason for the breakup were anything negative (Though if it was an amicable break for practical reasons like moving away, that time is much less)
If it's been less than a year, that's not real change, that's an act that hasn't had time to sink in yet.
Anyway. Assuming you still qualify and have had at least 1-5+ years to get over it, just talk to her. Be with her. Treat it kind of like a first date and start from square 1 because if your aim is for a relationship it SHOULD NOT be a continuation of what was old (because that failed), it should be a new start--which is what it should be if you really ARE new people who aren't going to repeat old mistakes.
That's not to say you should completely ignore the past though, If things feel right and like you've got a good flow, and things are feeling excellent between you go, at the point where in a normal date you'd probe for a relationship, instead go ahead and probe and ask what's happened in the past, talk about how much has changed, and if she'd like to try again.
>>17198113
Good advice except the year long no contact period. That's so over the top.
I would say 30 days minimum, maybe 3-6 months max. A year is ridiculous.
You don't talk to your ex for a year if they caught you assfucking their teenage sister. If it's a normal relationship, 30 days is fine.
>>17198119
I didn't say no contact, I said time to grow.
30 days is NOT enough time to grow. 3-6 months is NOT enough time to grow.
As humans we're adaptive, but short of a cataclysmic event, change does not come fast for us.
I'm also going to add, ideally in the time apart you've been dating other people. If the first person you have a relationship with after a breakup is the last person you broke up with... that sounds a lot more like a desperate and lonely person talking, not a completely new person who's moved on....
>>17198158
Relationship coach here.
30 days is the recommended time for MOST relationships. This is based on science.
After 30 days of not seeing or contacting somebody you have an emotional bond or attraction to, your brain releases large amounts of oxytocin. This hits it's peak around thirty days, that's why it's recommended.
In more severe cases, I'd recommend 60-90 days.
>>17198055
ive been rejected before but i never had romantic feelings for those people while they thought i did, i once asked a friend if we could hang out sometime as friends and she took it as if i wanted to go out with her and avoided the question
but this is one of those rare occasions where i actually have feelings for the woman im interested in, well i know im have to grow up and grow a pair someday so i might just get it over with
Guys what makes you get oneitis on a girl?
And do you fantasise about your future together like girls do?
>>17198759
When she seems like a best friend that I could also have sex with.
Yes, but I wish I wouldn't because those girls always just want to be friends (in my experience).
>>17197385
>How do you differentiate
>Girls from women
>Boys from men
I'm a man, and for me that mostly boils down to maturity. Are you self sufficient? Are you capable of discussing your feelings, rather than trying to play mind games? If so, you're at least on the cusp of it.
>>17197336
>How to apology gift?
Something that takes effort that you can't just buy imo. For some that means a home made meal, others taking care of a yard project she's been pushing off, or something else that utilizes your skills.
Girls
How do you feel after a guy says he'd like to date you, but you turn him down for whatever reason?
Do you tell other people what happened?
Do you actually feel like you could go back to being friends?
Do you ever feel like it might be partly your fault that he thought you were interested in being more than just friends?
>>17198759
>Guys what makes you get oneitis on a girl?
Only ever had one of those, and I had it because:
1.) I was insanely inexperienced and naive
2.) I was in a shitty place when I met her, and meeting her genuinely inspired me. I admired and respected her, and bumping in to her changed my life in an entirely positive way.
>And do you fantasise about your future together like girls do?
Nope. I never let myself do that, because I knew that would be crossing a line where those fantasies would turn in to obsession, and that would to a warping and running away from what was real--turning her from a living breathing person I could interact with and have a possibility with, to an imaginary figure that I fantasized and admitted I had no chance with.
Even while it was all happening though, I knew I was being irrational as fuck and just let myself do it because I was still young enough to and it was something I should at least once.
Now though, I just kind of know better and have experienced enough to know that "oneitis" is just you getting yourself revved up over nothing.
I still get butterflies and am romantic, but I live in the real world and take action instead of agonizing.
>>17198024
I am exactly that
>>17198946
I wrote that badly. I should point out that the guy in question was friends with you for about one to three months prior to asking you out.
>>17198946
>How do you feel after a guy says he'd like to date you, but you turn him down for whatever reason?
Sad for him, a bit guilty because I hurt someone else's feelings.
>Do you tell other people what happened?
No, I think it'd just embarrass him.
>Do you actually feel like you could go back to being friends?
Probably not, and anyways not any soon.
>Do you ever feel like it might be partly your fault that he thought you were interested in being more than just friends?
Yes, I tend to be very affectionate and flirty with everyone and I know it gives the wrong impression. It's just my personality, I do it even with my female friends.
I usually say it early in the relationship, now that I'm aware of it.
>>17196793
This is such a shit "sticky". Half of its wrong, only particularly correct or just sounds like it was written by a bitter fat chick.
I dunno if I need to just vent or what, but I'm attracted to my friends bf. Like we all hang out together and get along pretty well and sometimes get lost in a convo , my friend won't really get what we're talking about and it's really easy talking to her bf for some reason. We just bounce things off each other. We'll try to explain the convo to her but yeah. I think if he'd met me before he'd met her, it might have been me instead? Before I met the dude I even persuaded my friend to stay with him (from her description of him he seemed like a good guy and they've now been together a year) Anyway I need to stop thinking like this. I'm not jealous of her just kinda feel weird that I met the dude too late? I think he sorta feels the same way hence why he kinda worries about me as well but sometimes we just sit in awkward silence begging for my friend to come back from the bathroom. But maybe I'm overthinking things a lot.
>>17198962
Really? We need to get married, then. haha
>tfw I live too far away and you probably have a bf
>>17198946
Really guilty that his interest isn't reciprocated. If for whatever reason I like him back but can't date him, it's even worse and I feel both guilty and miserable, and sad that he probably thinks that I don't like him.
I tell a few friends.
Nope, once romantic interest gets in the way being friends again is almost impossible.
Yes, for leading him on.
>>17198997
>But maybe I'm overthinking things a lot
Very probably this.
I'm a dude but I think I had nearly the exact opposite of your situation with my best friend's girlfriend.
They were in a relationship, we all got along pretty well. She and I both kind of flirty personalities and have similar senses of humor so we'd shower each other in compliments and make kind of raunchy jokes. But every now and then I felt like she'd make a joke or a comment that was like.. beyond that.
I.E. We were once both lying on the floor while my friend was sitting on a chair browsing on my computer when she just buried her head in my chest, breathed deep and said "you smell amazing, like awesome, sex, and nutmeg."
I was just like... ok then...
In my own head, I think she's awesome and I adore her, but she's totally walled off and complete no fly zone. It's just not mentally a barrier I can cross. They've broken up, and I'm still friends with her, but that barrier is still there.
Part of it's that, while I know I get along with her amazingly, I also know that we would absolutely never work as a couple, because the things that make you work as a couple, don't necessarily have much to do with the things that make you get along with people or even the things that give you chemistry (which a lot of people don't understand).
TL;DR There's no guarantee that he feels the same way, and even if he did, there's no guarantee you guys would even work. Just settle for having a cool friend and stop running what-ifs because they're never accurate(you ignore too many variable) and they'll just drive you crazy.
>>17198946
I'm going to answer for my girlfriend because it happened to her last week.
A co-worker asked her out, she felt guilty as fuck. She told me. She felt like it was partially her fault, but also was like... wtf? I've mentioned my boyfriend before.
But my girlfriend is the type who feels OVERLY guilty letting anyone down for any reason, regardless of who's at fault
>>17199084
>once romantic interest gets in the way being friends again is almost impossible.
Why exactly? I can't think of any reason i couldn't be friends with someone who had expressed romantic interest in me.
Girls:
I can rain 3's on niggas like it's nobodies buisiness. Kobe doesn't have shit on me. Great in the post, great ball handling and a good enough vertical to dunk on a nigga no problem. The thing is I cant make a half court shot. Im in the gym day after day, night after night like Im Larry Bird or some shit and I just cant do it.
Could you see yourself with a guy who can Lebron the place up but can't make it from half court?
>>17199314
no girl cares about bball skill that much to deny you, but my parents don't like black people so I couldn't see myself with you lel
>>17199311
Because every time you'd look at them you'd remember they like you in that way, and that you can't have a completely platonic friendship again
I'd just feel bad for the guy for denying him so I wouldn't be able to be comfortable with that guilt there. Also I'd always be wondering whether he still wants to try a relationship or is trying to flirt.
>>17199358
It really depends on the person. If I start crushing on someone, I'll try to ask them out quickly. If I'm told no, it's whatever and I move on with my life, generally over her within a week or two.
If he's muted and let it fester until it becomes something needlessly complicated, you'd have more of a point.
>>17199358
>and that you can't have a completely platonic friendship again
Isn't this circular though? You can't have a platonic friendship because every time you look at them you realize you can't have a platonic friendship?
>>17197951
>>17198054
We broke up because of stupid reasons that could be solved on the spot but I think there was more to it than she wanted to tell
What I think is the true reason is also solved
About the "grow and become a different person", she is now an adult and mature woman in place of the teenage girl
>>17198113
>just talk to her. Be with her. Treat it kind of like a first date and start from square 1 because if your aim is for a relationship it SHOULD NOT be a continuation of what was old (because that failed), it should be a new start--which is what it should be if you really ARE new people who aren't going to repeat old mistakes.
>That's not to say you should completely ignore the past though, If things feel right and like you've got a good flow, and things are feeling excellent between you go, at the point where in a normal date you'd probe for a relationship, instead go ahead and probe and ask what's happened in the past, talk about how much has changed, and if she'd like to try again.
Thanks
Assuming the man in question is over 25, what's worse to women?
>A man who's still a virgin
>A man who lost his virginity to a prostitute
Be honest.
>>17199540
Not a chick but i've seen that question asked dozens of times here (it should probably go in the FAQ), and the answer is always the same:
I have never once seen anyone say the virgin is worse.
7/10 times, they also call the guy who lost it to a prostitute kind of pathetic/disgusting.
>>17199540
I don't understand why any woman would prefer a man who's stuck his dick in whores over a man who simply restrained himself from such behavior.
>>17199540
I'd rather be with a virgin, any time.
I don't think I'd date someone who had sex with a prostitute.
To women:
pic related btw
What is your opinion on briefs?
Do you like it when your boyfriends wears them on a regular basis?
Do you think they are sexy or a no go compared to other undergarnment?
>>17199612
Boxer briefs/compression shorts.
Briefs have too many negative connotation the same way granny panties do.
>>17199625
so what should men wear instead?
>>17199630
>Boxer briefs/compression shorts.
>>17199612
Briefs are little boys' underwear IMO
men should wear some sort of boxers or boxer briefs.
I probably shouldn't judge though, since I'd rather eat dirt than wear thongs (feels like a permanent wedgie).
>>17199632
something like this?
>>17199540
I would never sleep with a guy I knew visited prostitutes. I find that kind of behavior disgusting
>>17199640
>>17199632
pls post pics about what underwear you'd like to see on your boyfriend
>>17199641
those look a little silly since they're so long.
>>17199632
Honestly wear whatever the hell you want, but if you want to wear something to look presentable, by todays standards, the above is what you'd wear.
Plus, if you've got well fitted jeans, they make your ass look better and don't ride up as much...(which is sometimes a massively uncomfortable problem in boxers and snugger pants...it makes it feel like your package is being crushed. With boxer briefs/compression shorts, at least the material is flexible/elastic--which is not at all true with regular boxers).
>>17199646
presonally compared to briefs I find them to restrictive, almost uncomfortable
If they'd be a little looser and longer I would totally wear them
what's your opinion on that`?
>>17197005
It may not be a turn off, a lot of girls like to try and "fix" guys, but it can be a major contributor to breakups. If you become codependent with someone, your depression will affect them too and can lead to the whole "not attracted anymore, can't do this anymore, want to be friends" etc. Type of breakup. Don't let it stop you from dating but try and make progress on it before getting into anything serious.
>>17199612
I prefer boxers, but at the end I don't really care - he is going to wear pants all day and then take underwear off when we fuck. Whatever he is more comfortable in works well. As long as it's clean and in good condition.
>>17199654
The looser models are less attractive IMO and probably look odd under fitted pants. Still better than briefs though
>>17197233
No contact isn't "one size fits all". In order to get back to who you were before my best advice would be to let go without letting go. As hard of a balance as it is to maintain, you can be happy without her and want her simultaneously. Think about when you first got together with her or any girl, you may have over thought everything you did sure, but you had no expectation of her. Get back to the state of mind where you talk to/see her because you like to spend time with her, not because you want her back. Odds are that's who she fell for. If you are still fighting those impulsive urges then some more no contact will probably do you some good. Stay strong though man, I'm going through an almost identical break up, but I have a feeling things will get better for you and I.
>>17198054
Building on this also ask yourself if she has as much to benefit from a relationship as you do, or if she does at all for that matter.
>>17199654
>If they'd be a little looser and longer I would totally wear them
I'm the male anon who posted this >>17199653
Having done years of martial arts/track/cross country, I have years of experimenting with underarmor/compression shorts/boxer briefs and the like.
Compression shorts sometimes come with strings in the band that let you loosen it up and are made with a less restrictive material (I even have a pair that has a pocket in the rear), but still form fitting.
But anything too loose is going to be made with a non elastic material that will run the risk of:
>sometimes a massively uncomfortable problem in boxers and snugger pants...it makes it feel like your package is being crushed.
How do I convince my boyfriend to let me eat the booty like groseries?
He says itd make him gay but I love eating ass (clean of course
>>17199661
Different anon here, I've been wearing boxers since I was 12. I was always under the impression that boxer briefs resembled briefs too much. What do you prefer about tight fit? Is it the bulge? I get tired of boxers riding up every time I put pants on, so I'm willing to try something new. Thanks either way for the advice.
>>17199682
The homophobia is pretty sad. However, for another perspective, I'd be apprehensive about it because I'd never feel clean enough.
>>17199695
Ive always been the one to clean it in the shower before hand, so I'm 100% satisfied with the cleanliness. Come to think of it, I've never even seen his arsehole.
>>17199682
Wow this ass eating thing is really big now
I'd never eat ass or let a girl eat mine
I find it disgusting, same with anal no idea why people want it so much
>>17199709
To be fair I was doing this before the "trend" (totally hipster!!111)
As long as its clean it opens you up to a whole new feeling
Guys:
>bf comes home from going to the movies with a group of friends, also including his best female friend, who is also his ex
>we cuddle before sleep and talk a bit
>i ask him how the movie was
>his response sounds weird and i ask him about it
>tells me there's something but he's not sure if he should tell me
>tell him to go ahead because it sounds like something important
>tells me that i "will always be the only girl in his life"
>proceeds to explain that he suspects that his ex has started to develope feelings for him again(that bitch... Just because he's in a relationship now. They broke up 4 years ago and at first, HE was the one who still had feels. She has had her chance.)
>tells me that he might have to cut contact but that he doesn't want to hurt her (ok then... )
I need you guys to shine a light on this. Especially the "you will always be the only girl in my life". At first, i just ignored it as a way of reassuring me that he's not interested in her anymore. But the longer i think about it, the weirder it seems to me. Am i going completely nuts now? Why did he started the conversation with those words? Are they fishy or not? My judgement is pretty biased atm
>>17199720
>I need you guys to shine a light on this. Especially the "you will always be the only girl in my life". At first, i just ignored it as a way of reassuring me that he's not interested in her anymore. But the longer i think about it, the weirder it seems to me. Am i going completely nuts now? Why did he started the conversation with those words? Are they fishy or not? My judgement is pretty biased atm
I'll be honest with you
It wasn't words for you, it was for him
He need to convince himself that you really are the only girl he need in his life
Help him convincing himself, love him as much as you can; be the best girlfriend ever
>>17199720
You're spinning your wheels over a turn of phrase--nitpicking over his exact wording.
Take a chill pill.
Has he *done* anything to you not trust him?
ive been going to several 'meetup' events recently (ive been to about 9) and each one ive met a girl and got along quite well with her. afterwards i send her a message, either text or on the website itself or whatever, casual stuff in this vein, ill give you some examples
'hey dude, we met at the ___ thing a while ago, i bumped into your friend ___ the other day which reminded me I haven't seen you at any meetups since. you not into them so much then?'
'hey dude, we met at the thing last wednesday, i liked your friend ___. anyway, im going to that ___ you told us about this wednesday with another group, you should join us <link to the event>'
btw, in both these cases the friends were guys if thats important
the girls never even reply. what am i doing wrong? please note i am thin but quite ugly
>>17199728
Yeah, i'm aware. That's why i ask adv and not my friends. I try to do some damage controle.
It's hard for me to stay calm atm. He told me that after going away for two weeks with very restricted possibility for communication. Now i'm sitting here, going nuts and turning words. I try to calm my titts, but i have no idea what's going on right now. If he still texts her or not.
Nope. That's why i feel so silly. The only thing he *did* is having extensive contact with an ex, which was already a hard pillow for me to swallow. Now that there are feelings involved again, my head runs wild.
>>17199726
Thanks for being honest despite being aware that my anxiety is trough the roof now.
It's really shitty. I can't even be a very good gf atm since we won't be able to see each other for more than two weeks and we can't even text that much during that time. I feel pretty powerless
>>17199720
He was reassuring you because he didn't want you to think he wanted anything to come of his ex, which you should believe because he told you in confidence about him suspecting her of developing feelings for him. He wouldn't have told you that if he was gonna do anything underhanded.
>chill out
>>17199744
Did you/he leave already ?
If not, give him a loving goodbye
>>17199745
Thanks anon. I completely forgot that he prob would not have told me if he wasn't sure he doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
>>17199752
Yes. He told me saturday evening and he left on sunday. I did give him a loving goodbye. Or so i hope...
>>17199684
Yeah, the tighter fit shows off both the bulge and the ass. It's really not a big deal though, and like I said, I vehemently refuse to wear anything but granny panties so it's not like I'm the expert on stylish underwear
Both, how would you feel if your school sweetheart of opposite sex came out as gay in college years?
>>17199775
"Huh."
>>17199775
I wouldn't care honestly
>>17199712
Still i dont know why i dislike it so much
But my ass is and will be off limits to every girl
>>17199775
the first girl i was with is a dude now. i think it was my fault
>>17199775
Guy here
I fell in love with this girl in first year of highschool
She came out as gay during the second year
I felt pretty bad at the time but we stayed friend ever since
It was 5 years ago and we laugh about that time together
>>17199682
>assplay
Legitimately faggy. He's right to deny you.
>>17199775
Looks like I messed another person up. But I wouldn't care. Maybe find a good friend in them.
>>17199775
>Both, how would you feel if your school sweetheart of opposite sex came out as gay in college years?
Given that one of my best friends growing up (knew him since middleschool) came out in college (we suspected he was gay sometime in highschool, and he kept trying to date women, 'til one of his last years when he got a gay roommate) and that my best friend is a lesbian...
I think i'd be pretty cool with it.
Actually, I remember one night I went out with my best friend to a club--that was having lesbian ladies night--to hang out with her and her friends (I was probably the only straight guy there lol) and I ran in to an old crush and just thought... wow... that makes a lot of sense.
>>17199775
I hate fags, so I'd probably think to myself "What a fag", maybe ask some mutual friends if they'd heard you were a fag and then move on with my life.
>>17197385
Age.
An adult who behaves like a child is not a child. They're just a pathetic adult.
What's the point of even trying to pursue a relationship with a girl, when she can just drop all interest on you and start pretending that you don't exist, at the top of a hat, with no explanation ever given to you to help you understand what you did wrong.
They won't even let you learn from your fucking mistakes.
>>17199834
Men do this too. As usual, it's not a gender thing, it's a people thing. And as usual, any time you open yourself up to another person (not just romantically, any person ever), you give that person power to hurt you horrifically, and you just hope they won't. Nothing you can do about it.
>>17199834
I've done this to a woman once. I did it because I told her that I don't want to have a relationship with her and she still kept pushing so I wanted her to just forget about me. Ironically enough a woman did this to me a while ago and I feel like it fucked me up permanently.
>>17197327
it depends
do you want us to tell you the truth or what you want to hear ?
>>17199834
Not the reason I dropped relationships but that is a reason. Your pursue relationships to have someone who you can rely on for support. I dropped it because I don't see a point in them. I get bored with girls to easily for such trivial affairs. You wouldn't be posting this if you didn't want a girl in your life.
It's been two years after a two-weeks-relationship (we knew each other for years though) and i still am afraid to look at her facebook profile.
I blocked her feed, I don't want to see all the dicks she has in her mouth.
It's over, move on, I understand, I just get physical tinglesand nausea, when I even imagine her with some other dude. I know she must be seeing people, but I don't want to see any evidence that she does. I think, i'll be really upset if i found out and simply drink.
Am I a freak or other people get this too?
>>17199831
Whats your stand on liking childish things but bein mature and responsible enough when its needed?
No reason to be super serious all the time
>>17199875
Yes but not too such a severe degree. I suggest you nut up and get over her anon. She probably took dick before you and shes still gonna get it after you. So stop worrying so much, because its part of life. Seek psychiatric help if it bothers you so much. Two years is a bit long to hold such a feeling. Hope I helped.
>>17199874
>You wouldn't be posting this if you didn't want a girl in your life.
No shit sherlock.
I was questioning the point of going trough their bullshit in hopes that they don't tear your heart out and laugh at you for it and instead actually reciprocate your feelings back.
>>17199875
ASK HER OUT IF YOU STILL LOVE EACH OTHER
FFS
oh tell me more, "I blocked her feed and broke her fucking heart and I don't care"
FFS
>>17199883
You got shit on hard if you think every girl is like that. You are looking for a reason to continue dating. So just do it watson. Life is about experiencing, so go experience.
>>17199834
>Why try something if you can fail the thing?
>>17199893
I'd rather avoid horrible experiences that risk regressing me back to my suicidal depression, thanks. I never want to go back to that hole again, and I nearly did the last time I tried to pursue a girl.
>>17199895
More like:
>why try something when you can fail without even knowing why or what caused you to fail.
Might as well beat your head on a brick wall and hope that after a while, it won't hurt.
>>17199886
She has been implying that I'm a creep till even I finally got it.
She ignores me, I am a failure, I am afraid of bumping on her at the street.
>>17199900
You don't need to be told something to learn it. Self-reflection is key in life.
>muh suicidal depression
Oh fuck off /r9k/. Every fucking day you're on here crying about how you want to blow a hole through your skill because some girl you glanced at on the bus didn't return your glance.
>>17199900
What she do that was so bad?
ive been going to several 'meetup' events recently (ive been to about 9) and each one ive met a girl and got along quite well with her. afterwards i send her a message, either text or on the website itself or whatever, casual stuff in this vein, ill give you some examples
'hey dude, we met at the ___ thing a while ago, i bumped into your friend ___ the other day which reminded me I haven't seen you at any meetups since. you not into them so much then?'
'hey dude, we met at the thing last wednesday, i liked your friend ___. anyway, im going to that ___ you told us about this wednesday with another group, you should join us <link to the event>'
btw, in both these cases the friends were guys if thats important
the girls never even reply. what am i doing wrong? please note i am thin but quite ugly
>>17199910
>hey dude
Bad start.
>I've been keeping tabs on you
Bad finish.
>>17199910
You have to wait a couple days then respond. You don't wanna sounds desperate. But you consider yourself ugly so maybe thats hurting your game by effecting you confidence? Maybe you need to get fit.
>>17199919
Broke it down hard.
>>17199919
what should i say instead? also i havent really been keeping tabs, like i always send these a couple of days after (at least) and in fact the first message was like a couple of weeks after. i havent been keeping tabs
>>17199920
i am quite fit but you cant fix faces, as above i do wait a few days or more. confidence is irrelevant in my tier
>>17199923
>i bumped into your friend ___ the other day which reminded me I haven't seen you
>im going to that ___ you told us about
That's the tab keeping. You sound too formal. Too robotic. Like you've sat and stared at your phone for a long as fuck time, mulling over what you can say. Just say hey and ask them how they're doing. Casual shit. And reference things you've already done together before referencing things in the future you could do together.
>Remember at the meetup when X happened?
Rather than:
>Remember that thing that starts next week? Let's go!
>>17199923
You said thin? I meant like getting a little built. Being skinny isn't fit. And no confidence is everything in all tiers. You come off like something hot theyre gonna remember you more then someone who is meek.
>>17199877
That's totally fine. Someone can be obsessed with the fucking Care Bears for all I care.
But if a person simpers and whinges and leeches and refers to themselves with childish terms, they can fuck off, that shit isn't cute it's just creepy and irritating. That's the kind of thing you see in plain dependant personalities who are trying to attract someone who'll take care of them. Grown ass women who want to be treated like a princess, popped collar douchebags who treat all women like a surrogate mother. It's not a matter of what age-level media you consume, it's about personality.
Obviously you see that kind of shit in weeaboo NEETs, but normies do it plenty too, which is honestly more grating to me.
>>17199910
Second time you've asked this, I'm a guy but I'm going to go ahead and respond...
>and each one ive met a girl and got along quite well with her.
See you say that... but you're interpretting this through your eyes, and we have no way of knowing what "got along quite well" actually, objectively means...
For all we know, when you say "got along quite well" could mean, she smiled and laughed at my jokes, or we made small talk for 10 minutes, or she said hi and we chatted for 30 seconds.
We have no idea if THEY actually think you got along well or not, because if multiple girls aren't responding, clearly you are the common denominator here and one thing is certain, you're not getting along as well as you think.
Also, I'm purely speculating here, but I can only imagine these girls get flooded with messages from guys who think "they got along well" with them because they chatted for more than a minute.
>>17199900
So, do you say, that a girl, who ignores for no reason is the worst thing in life?
I'm a girl who did this to a guy (not in relationship) several times, because I didn't think he would be bothered by it.
He was social, I though he'd have a reason to rant about it to his besties, then they'll bring him hoes and he'll forget about it.
He texted after the last time that he was depressed for a week, and I thought he was sarcastic and texted this back to him.
We never talked since.
How do you find out that you mean much to a guy, what the fuck.
>>17199923
>the first message was like a couple of weeks
Damn man...why? Yeah I know people don't want to look desperate but if you really are genuinely interested in someone, just message them while you can. I did meet a girl and texted her but she didn't respond till the next day and before I went to bed I just thought she was flaking, turns out it was cause she went to sleep, then later on she shows me her phone and she literally scrolls down all the way to where my text was and she has like 20 unread messages presumably all from guys hitting her up...also there is no way for anyone to know that the interaction went well other than yourself.
>>17199775
I found out my high school ex did gay stuff with a gay friend of mine, this was a couple girlfriends after me tho.
I never really cared enough that it affected me. our relationship was terrible, he was very controlling, but i never imagined him being gay.
>>17199883
>in hopes that they don't tear your heart out and laugh at you
You're such a coward m8. Everyone gets rejected, has gotten rejected, and will be rejected, and you can't get everyone to like you. Yeah it hurts your precious ego but so what? No one is obligated to reciprocate anything with you if they don't want to, that's just how life is. Company X isn't obliged to hiring me even if I think my resume is really great, so instead of pissing and moaning about it, I'll just keep looking for work in other places.
Girls and guys
First off, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or anything. But purely out of boredom I made a Tinder account. Well I matched some girl on there who is pretty cute, and she's actually kind of fun to text with.
I'm not sure what I should do. Like I said, I don't really want to go out with anyone. But she is fun to talk to. What do I do now?
>>17199958
Do you want to meet up with her? If so tell her, if not then just keep texting her but you might end up catching feelings and she will get the hint pretty fast that you're not interested and find herself someone who is.
>>17199958
Ask her to meet up and she a movie or goto a coffee shop.
>>17199929
but i did do that, 'we met at the thing a few weeks ago', in other messages i mention stuff that happened or people we met or whatever. ill try to be more casual i guess
>>17199930
im working on it but after 6 months of no gains i think i dont have the genes for it. theres a threshold of ugliness where no amount of confidence will help you
>>17199933
well i mean i go to these social events which normally run for about 3 hours, sometimes longer. so ill be talking to a particular girl for at least an hour cumulatively for one of these things, but i like to flit around and talk to everyone in the group (maybe 30 people or so). yes the common denominator is me i know, i know im awful but im trying to improve what i can. but im not just waving at these people from across the room and thats it, im having long conversations with them and making them laugh a lot and so on, maybe people are just being nice and pretending to like me but i think thats too much effort for most people
>>17199939
well it was more like, i met her at a thing and she said she would be going to more in the future so i didnt message her. then a few weeks later i bumped into her friend who i met on the same day which reminded me of her, so i decided to send her a message to see what shes up to. i normally message girls a couple of days after so yeah that was a kind of special case, i just put it in as an example
>>17199967
>ill be talking to a particular girl for at least an hour
I'm curious, are you the one who does most of the talking in these interactions?
>>17199906
>muh /r9k/ boogieman
Because if men show any indication of emotions like sadness or insecurity, let alone mental conditions like depression, they must be from /r9k/
>You don't need to be told something to learn it. Self-reflection is key in life.
>it's your fault for not being a telepath and understanding why a girl suddenly starts treating you like shit with no explanation.
>>17199907
Played with my emotions, dragged me along, took advantage of my kindness to get me to help her with shit she was too lazy to do, pretended to enjoy my company and spending time with me, only to drop me like a piece of trash the moment she got bored. Then she came back again, and pretended that nothing had happened, and like the fool I was, I ended up being dragged along, because fuck it, I still liked her, only for her to do the same shit to me again.
For someone like me, who had never experienced female attention before, that shit was fucking torture, and nearly sent me back to my depression due to the combined stress, anxiety, and feelings of being worthless piece of shit.
>>17199938
A flat out rejection is preferable to being ignored and treated like air. The former at least ends the whole affair, whereas the later drags it on, putting the other person in a super uncomfortable, and awkward position, where their only choices are either to play along with the silent treatment, or to try to probe the other person for answers, or at least some resolution, potentially making the thing even worse. The ignored person is left into a situation where there are no winning moves, assuming that is, that s/he has feelings for the person who is ignoring him/her. If there are no feelings involved, then being ignored isn't that big of a deal.
>>17199962
>>17199964
>do you want to meet up with her?
I don't really know. It's been a long time since I've met a girl. she's really cool and we have some common interests. But I don't know if I'm ready to meet anyone. I just don't know
>>17199967
>we met at the thing
That isn't you talking about things that you did together. That's your reminding her who you are. That in itself reeks of insecurity.
>>17199737
>quite ugly
There is the answer, face is everything
>>17199973
No, but when men talk about committing suicide over a fucking unrequited crush, then they are robots.
>It's your fault for not being a telepath
As retarded as women can be about this kind of thing, some of the blame falls on you. 90% of communication is non-verbal. If you can't pick that up, you might have autism.
>>17199975
>I don't know
Well you better know pretty fast, it's either yes or no, otherwise you might as well be talking to a robot.
>>17199952
You make the assumption that there are other places available, which really isn't the case if we are talking about actual serious relationships, not some casual one night stand bs.
>>17199973
>Played with my emotions,
Read: Didn't like me back
> dragged me along,
Read: I followed her like a lapdog and she didn't stop me
>took advantage of my kindness to get me to help her with shit she was too lazy to do,
Read: I did things for her because I was in love with her
>pretended to enjoy my company and spending time with me,
Read: Probably did enjoy my company but just didn't find me attractive
>only to drop me like a piece of trash the moment she got bored
Read: Probably got sick and tired of the yapping lapdog humping at her leg
>>17199971
yes, i go up to them and introduce myself (le confidence), ask them questions to start things off and then keep the ball rolling. so yeah i do most of the talking but they seem interested enough to ask me about stuff
>>17199976
well if she doesnt remember me then she will be wondering who is this random contacting her
>>17199977
so what do i do?
>>17199983
>assumption
It's not an assumption, it's a reality, unless you live in a ghost town and you just asked out the only female available.
>actual serious relationships
These take time to build and a lot of trust is involved in them. You need to learn to be more direct and also willing to know that not every woman out there wants to rush into things just cause you think you're a seemingly decent person.
>>17199979
I just don't feel like I'm in the position to meet girls. I'm 25, yet I live at home still. I have a good paying Fulltime job, but rent is so damn expensive for apartments in my area that financially, I thought it would be easier to live at home for 1-2 more years, save some more money and then have a decent downpayment for a townhouse. The thing about that is I don't feel comfortable at all with bringing a girl to my parents house. If I had my own place then sure. But here? I just don't feel right about that..
>>17200000
>00000
Nice
>>17200000
>if she doesn't remember me
Then you didn't "get along quite well with her".
>>17200000
>yeah i do most of the talking
This is where you're messing up
What was the hair color/style of the first female you raped?
>>17200000
You stop trying, grow bitter and old. If you are ugly and have no status forget about girls it just won't happen.
>>17199978
Reading comprehension senpai.
I said that I was almost sent back to my depression, not that it caused it originally.
>>17199987
You don't actively seek to hang out with someone, agree to go on dates with him, and spend shittons of your free time with him, only to drop him like a sack of potatoes with no explanation, and do the same shit again, if you actually like him.
The only logical explanation I have for her behavior is that she enjoyed the attention I was giving to her, but didn't actually like me at all back.
>>17200003
Why do you feel you need to bring girls to your parent's house? Aren't there parks and malls you can hang out in at your area? If I'm bringing a girl to meet my parents then it's because I'm planning on putting a ring on it, not cause I met her on damn tinder.
>>17200014
>I never want to go back to that hole again, and I nearly did the last time I tried to pursue a girl.
How did I know you were simply friendzoned and too retarded to realise it?
>>17200014
>You don't actively seek to hang out with someone, agree to go on dates with him, and spend shittons of your free time with him
Did you show signs of romantic interest? Did you make out? Did your conversations have any sexual tension to them? or was it you just hanging out like buddies?
There could be a million reasons she decided to drop you, maybe she's busy, met someone else, didn't really enjoy the free time she spent with you, felt somewhat pressured...all kinds of reasons...
As always, the advice forever will be, move on with your life. People, mostly women, act a lot based off of their emotions.
>>17199901
oh come on. maybe she gets scared too?! don't call yourself a failure, that's a setup to fail is it not? if you blocked her, that's like being a social pariah in this century and she thinks you hate her. If you've been ignoring her for ages, then she might be a bit angry and feel disrespected? what if she's in love with you??
>>17200015
I didn't mean for her to specifically meet my mom. But like, don't normal people like to also just hang out at home. Cuddle on the couch and watch TV or a movie? Or even like cook food together?
The problem is since I still live with my mom. It would be uncomfortable for me to bring her here to do those things.
>>17200003
In the same boat, but I need to try once I start working again. I can't see letting my 20's go by with no women because I am trying to be responsible with my money.
>>17200015
He is talking about a place to have sex.
>>17200017
Dude, it was the first time girl even paid any attention to me, let alone wanted to spend time with me, and seemingly liked me back, at least initially. I mean, we went to movies together, stayed up until 1 am in her apartment together, and spent a shitton of time together in general.
You don't do that sort of shit with someone who you are "just friends" with.
At least I don't. Though, to be fair, I have never had much friends to begin with. The only one I have I see maybe once or twice a month, and we play videogames together in his flat.
>>17200028
>Did you show signs of romantic interest?
How would I even have known how?
I did tell her that I enjoy her company and actively asked her out many times.
That's the extend of what I know of what you should with this sort of shit.
Anyways, discussion regarding her is rather pointless, as I am trying to get over her.
>>17200043
>You don't do that sort of shit with someone who you are "just friends" with.
Are you taking the piss? You don't go to movies with your friends? You don't stay up late with your friends? You don't spend time with your friends?
You're a fucking retard.
>>17200040
>he is talking about a place to have sex
Um, actually I wasn't. I meant this>>17200034
>>17200007
i guess but still putting it in cant be too bad, if i did in fact get along
>>17200008
if i dont do all the hard work then conversation is just dull and empty and surely that comes off as worse?
>>17200013
i dont want to live alone
>>17200043
>How would I even have known how?
So you didn't make any physical contacts or suggestive talk (suggestive not creepy) and just told her how great she was (though you really dont know much about her?)...Yeah you are the one messing up here....I'll give you this tip, for an interaction to be going well, it's the other person who has to be doing most of the talking, it's a psychology thing. You're doing most of the talking cause you want to show off to this chick that you're this great cool person with a personality but at some point it crosses into a threshold of you coming off as a try-hard, learn to become a better listener.
>>17200056
Better get used to it, I'm 26 now it doesn't get any better as an ugly guy.
>>17200056
see >>17200057
>the conversation is dull and empty
The conversation is dull and empty if you have to force in things to say and lots of nervous laughs to fill the silence. Sometimes you just have nothing to say, so you shut up and let the other person start talking.
>>17200034
You're thinking pretty far ahead for someone who apparently doesn't want anything right now. Just saying.
>>17200034
>Cuddle on the couch and watch TV or a movie?
These are things that established couples do, not people who just met, I don't know maybe people who met in a night club do this, but this sort of intimacy comes along with a lot of trust built up. Also you're saying you don't want anything but want to cuddle with this girl alone? It seems like you are confused about a lot of things.
>>17200074
Ugh. You're right. I just analyze everything. What I foresee is if we hang out, and things go well, Eventually we'd hang out at home (at least it seems most people do that). Not even talking about sex. But just like chilling at home watching TV or whatever. that in itself I don't feel comfortable about with me living at my mom's. But i know it's so incredibly rare to find a girl that has similar interests as me, they like don't exist.
>>17200066
what i mean is if i dont do the work nothing happens. i have to keep the conversation going or it dies out
>>17200050
As I said, I have never had many friends, and have never done such things with my friends.
Again, the extension of my interaction with my one, uno, SINGULAR friend, is occasionally playing videogames at his flat.
>>17200092
And at no point in all of this did you stop to think "Maybe I'm projecting shit because of my own lack of experience"? That's on you.
>>17200057
>So you didn't make any physical contacts or suggestive talk (suggestive not creepy)
What part about the fact that that was the first time I had ever had this sort of situation, do you not understand.
How in the fuck could I have known how to make physical contact, or say something suggestive, without coming off as a creep, when the extent of my experience in regards to females at that point, had been fucking porn and hentai?
>>17200085
I didn't say all I want to do is cuddle, I just figured this like that happen after a few weeks of knowing each others after meeting or whatever?
Yes, I am confused about lots of things. I am extremely inexperienced with girls. I've never had a girlfriend. And I've only ever had sex twice. Both times was the first day I met the girls. We hung out, watched tv and had sex. And, it was lame.
>>17200096
Maybe so, but that still doesn't explain her suddenly dropping me like a sack of shit, with no reasons given to me, and after a couple of weeks, acting like nothing had happened, only to do it again to me.
At that point, I just thought "Screw this", and did my best to no longer allow her to hurt me the way she had already done, meaning that I started acting just as distant and shitty towards her, as she had done to me.
>>17200091
If you have to keep the conversation going then by definition it's not a very good interaction and that's why these women keep flaking
>>17200101
Why are you sperging out on me? You know what, yeah now I know why they never reply back.
>porn and hentai
>>17200114
>Project an entire lifetime of inexperience, sexual frustration and general retardation onto someone
>Surprised when they want no part of it
>>17200043
So you were at her apartment till 1 am, didn't even get a kiss out of it, and think that you're more than friends? I think the reason she dropped you is she finally found out that you don't want to just be her friend but are hoping for more so she stopped "leading you on"...also 1 month is barely enough time to actually fall in love with someone.
>>17200130
Because you are giving me some "you should have done this" bs that is at this point, utterly useless.
>>17200136
Way to twist the whole issue.
If she had just told me that she doesn't want to spend time with me, I'd have been ok with that. What I detest was the way she kept flip flopping between utterly ignoring me, treating me like air, and then suddenly acting like nothing had happened, and being all "lets spend time together!" again. That shit hurt immensely, and I wanted no part in it after the second time she started pretending that I didn't exist.
>>17200151
I don't even know how to kiss. Again, it was the first time I was in such a situation. I was still just trying to figure out how to deal with my own feelings for her.
And she didn't stop "leading me on". She started ignoring me, and after few weeks, suddenly acted like nothing had happened, and started once again, spending time with me, going out with me etc, only to drop me again out of the blue.
And I had known her for way longer than a single month. Almost 4 months, at least.
But talking about her is pointless at this point. It certainly isn't helping me in getting over her.
>>17200181
>Way to twist the whole issue
The only one twisting shit is you. You're caught up in your robot delusion and wallowing in your own bitterness instead of realising that you fucked up and just moving on.
>>17200188
I still am not a fucking robot. I don't visit that board because it manages to be even more depressing and worthless slump than this board is, in regards to any advice in life.
And I ain't twisting shit. It is you who somehow turned me resenting the chick for hurting me with her "lol, I'll ignore him for over two weeks, and then act as if nothing happened suddenly" shit, to some "projection of an entire lifetime of inexperience, sexual frustration, and general retardation".
>>17200122
ok, so what can do i to get women to want to talk to me? bearing in mind as above im very ugly
>>17200181
>you should have done this"
No I'm telling you, "You should do this" for future reference...you know...actual advice? Instead you're choosing to take it personally and get mad at me as if I'm the one responsible for why girls flake on you. They flake on me too and yeah it sucks but you move on from that.
>She started ignoring them then hang out with me again
Listen, you're pretty bad at reading social cues so I'll just explain this one to you, she thought you were just being her friend, then at some point picked out that you were just trying to eventually get into her pants, then she stopped hanging out with you, realized she might have been a little bit harsh, went back to hanging out with you then realized it's better not to keep entertaining this thought of her leading you on then 6 months from now when you finally have the balls to ask her out she feels bad for having to lead you on.
The best thing you can do right now for yourself, is to forget about it and move on with your life. Just stop overthinking it, it happened, learn from it and move on.
>b-b-ut why can't she just tell me she doesn't want to hang out with me
Because telling people that you don't want to hang out with them is harder than it actually sounds, and you don't know what kind of reaction you are going to get from the other person. They could sperg out and start threatening you, it's better to just ignore and let them take a hint, that's how most girls operate...or maybe she's just got other things going on in her life other than you that could be a possibility too.
>>17200206
>I ain't twisting shit
Alright. Wallow in it. I hope it eats you alive.
>>17200226
> you were just trying to eventually get into her pants,
Wrong. I really liked her, and I wanted to get to know her, and spend time with her. I got zero experience with sexual shit, so I have hard time even outright desiring someone sexually.
Her company did however, make me extremely happy, and I hoped that she liked me as much as I liked her. I think that I loved her, or at least had a massive crush on her.
In times like this, I feel that I am somehow mentally deficient or retarded in this regard. Due to being shy as fuck, social outcast, I completely missed the developmental phase teenagers go where you learn how to deal with sexual subjects and interest towards the opposite sex, outside of just masturbation.
>>17200236
And a fuck you to you too.
>>17200088
I think by the time you get to that stage with a girl, you'll be too into each other to care where you cuddle.
It sounds to me like you want to go for it, man.
>>17200252
Yeah well I'm telling you what she perceived from you, and you're saying the same damn thing of, "Oh me a good boy just wanted to fall in love with your personality" and when I say eventually get into her pants the former is exactly what I meant, not as in you want to use her just for sex, but you want a relationship and she probably doesn't see you like that so she backed off
>I missed the development phase teenagers
You didn't miss squat, you're just making excuses for yourself. Have you tried messaging her? Have you tried calling her? She could just be busy with her life without having to worry about you and your needs.
>>17200268
Yes, I did.
When my peers were socializing, hanging out together, having their first romantic, and in some cases, even sexual experiences, I was at home, playing videogames, because I had no friends or social circle.
And after she started ignoring my messages etc again, I resigned to the fact that at best she doesn't like me, but is too cowardly to say that straight to my face, or at worst, she is an emotionally manipulative person to whom I am just at toy.
Thus, I decided to stop bothering her further. If I happen to run across her, I generally just ignore her, like she did to me.
>>17200307
>When my peers were socializing, hanging out together, having their first romantic, and in some cases, even sexual experiences, I was at home, playing videogames, because I had no friends or social circle.
Boo fucking hoo. Plenty of people miss out on standard life milestones for all kinds of reasons. Fucking nut up and deal with it. You think anyone on fucking 4chan had the typical teenage experience?
>>17200330
>You think anyone on fucking 4chan had the typical teenage experience?
You are aware that /adv/ is basically the normie central, right?
Someone legit asked me "How in the fuck?" could I be a 22 year old kissless, handholdess, virgin the other day, like it was impossible to be one.
Anyways, you are moving the goal post. At first, you claimed that I didn't "miss squat", and now you are claiming that the fact that I missed a "standard life milestone" doesn't matter.
The fact remains, that I am basically retarded in terms of dealing with sexual desire towards someone. I don't know how to even recognize those feelings within me, let alone how to deal with them. To be honest, the thought of sex itself disgusts me.
>>17200357
I'm the guy who's been calling you a retard that projected shit onto her. I'm a 21 year old kissless, handholdless virgin. I can still see when I'm not wanted or when I'm projecting shit. If you can't, it's got fuck all to do with missing out on young love.
>>17200357
>Someone legit asked me "How in the fuck?" could I be a 22 year old kissless, handholdess, virgin the other day, like it was impossible to be one.
25 faggot, beat you, I challenge you to a wizard battle when the stars align.
>Anyways, you are moving the goal post.
I'm actually a different anon, don't mind me.
>>17200357
Shit, dude, if you mentioned having a 4-people circle of friends, I'd think I know you.
Guys who are disgusted by sex are my fetish, sorry
>>17200369
>I challenge you to a wizard battle when the stars align
You made my day based wizard. May your power grow ever stronger.
>>17200255
Well, I'm very adamant about not bringing girls to my mom's house..
Girls, is it true you can get sex as easily as you could get a glass of water from a faucet?
>>17200368
Again, how is resenting her for playing with my emotions, in any way, projection?
What else other than emotional manipulation, do you call behavior where you suddenly start ignoring your friend, with no explanation, do so for weeks, then pretend it didn't even happen, and act as if nothing had changed, and then proceed to start ignoring him again?
>>17200369
I don't want to be a wizard. I want to eventually have a family of my own. I don't want to die alone, and childless, but seems like my stars align me to that fate.
>>17200375
I got a single friend. Well, briefly, I had 2, when I though the girl I have been talking about was my friend, but you don't treat friends the way she treated me.
Yesterday I called a girl and asked her out, she said she just wanted to be friends. I only asked her out because my friends kept telling me she was hitting on me and wanted the D, and I figured if I didn't make a move she'd think I wasn't interested and would stop talking to me. Would calling again and explaining that help salvage the friendship, or would it be better to continue keeping quiet?
>>17197208
We met in school through a mutual friend
>>17200393
>with no explanation
This is why it's projection. You have no clue why she did what you perceive her as doing. Maybe life just caught up with her and she didn't notice. Maybe she just enjoys spending time with you in small doses and has no clue that she means much of anything to you. Maybe she got freaked out that you seemed so dependant on her and thought it'd all be cool if she pulled back for a little while.
Here's a thought: If you want to know why she behaved the way she did, fucking ask her. You know, communicate. Like an adult.
>>17200393
>playing with my emotions
This is the projection. Just because your feelings were hurt, doesn't mean she intended to hurt your feelings.
>>17200388
Any online dating app
Any guy
I only want sex video is pretty much a done deal for most guys
>>17197622
I'm only 21 so probably not who you want to hear from, but that's my ideal. Having one partner for life, losing your virginity to each-other, and having sex daily, perfect.
this one is free for all:
When I (male) nonverbally communicate with other men via light nodding it almost always works very well, be it just as a greeting, sign of mutual understanding or approval, requesting permission and whatever else meanings this gesture can have context dependently.
What is it about most women seeming to be confused and showing no sign of understanding when I or in general a man makes this gesture towards a them???
>>17200416
I can't see her behavior being anything other than actively, and knowingly ignoring me. I mean, shit, when she was ignoring me, she wouldn't even greet me back if I greeted her, or make any eye contact, Basically, she didn't even acknowledge me existing.
I don't see how one could interpret that as anything other than actively ignoring me. It isn't like she didn't just respond to some messages or some shit (though she did that too.) She acted like I was god damn air.
And after few weeks of that, she suddenly starts talking to me, completely out of the blue, as if nothing had happened. Things go well for a while, with us spending time together again, having fun and enjoying each other's company, and then suddenly, she suddenly starts acting like I didn't exist again, with zero explanation.
At that point, I had enough. She started acknowledging my existence once again after a while, again, as if nothing had happened, but I learned my lesson, and reserved my responses to her to just the bare minimal, and stopped asking her out, or actively spending time with her. I am not her god damn plaything she can drop and forget whenever she so pleases.
>>17200423
Why else would you ignore someone you are supposedly friends with, but to hurt his/her emotions?
>>17200458
>ignore
Again with this shit. Someone not responding to you isn't someone ignoring you. They're just not responding to you or messaging you. I go weeks on end without texting my friends. It's been months since I've seen them. We're not ignoring each other though, we just have shit to do.
>>17200461
Read my fucking post you moron.
She wasn't just ignoring some god damn text messages. She was acting like I didn't even exist despite us being in the same god damn room (we go to the same school).
>>17200470
Alright, so I'm still not seeing your point. Someone was rude to you and therefore...?
>>17200458
>I can't see her behavior being anything other than actively, and knowingly ignoring me.
That's your lack of imagination.
Your best guess =/= fact.
>but I learned my lesson,
Then why are you still bitching and moaning about her?
>>17199540
Prostitute is worse all the way
People, is being attracted to sense of humour, speech defects, gestures shallow and a result of infatuation?
How do you draw a line between love and infatuation?
Women
How much weight in the following exercises is required to impress you?
>Bench Press
>Squat
>Deadlift
>Shoulder Press
Also, if you see a physically average looking guy lifting big weights, as opposed to a more attractive buff looking guy lifting the same weights - what goes through your mind? Would you ever prefer strength over aesthetics?
>>17200457
>most women seeming to be confused and showing no sign of understanding
women are retarded
news at 11
>>17200483
I hate sports, so I wouldn't be a hypocrite and want a guy to push-up, if I can't do a single one. Plus, fit guys love to talk about fitness, sports, football, ugh.
I think a girl would like you to look visually fit, a sport girl would like you to be fit for real. Maybe around the same level as her.
