My wife was raped as a teenager. She was 10 years older. I messed up by setting no boundaries in our relationship, she got abusive when she didn't have her way. She was having an emotional affair with some guy while I was busting my ass doing 80 hour work weeks, she blamed it on someone stealing the dog she had for 7 years and said "he played the daddy role really well"
Her dad died, she was devastated. Sunk into a deep depression and was crying "daddy". I found out she was cheating on me the past 3 months with some rich manlet disabled sadist who does Daddy BDSM with her and she finally admitted her dad did rape her , that's why she ran away from home and got raped. I left, she begged me to stay threatening suicide and to never see him again, that she wants a baby, but I could not look at her phone. Now when I offered to come back she tells me that this guy "understands her" and that "She loves him" and always thought I was a weak man.I feel like shit for swallowing my pride and thinking with my heart instead of my brain but whatever she can win that battle of pride.
Is anyone like this ever gonna get saved or get better? Or am I on the right track to completely sever her from my life?
>>17196361
>Is anyone like this ever gonna get saved or get better?
Maybe, but not until she takes an active role in her own recovery, and you cannot help her to do that.
>Or am I on the right track to completely sever her from my life?
I think you're on the right track. Sad to say, but too much damage has been done. This has gone toxic.
>>17196361
Being abused doesn't make you immune to being an awful human being. She sounds like a bad person.
>>17196361
She might be able to "get better" in her own way, but I don't think you can ever expect her to do the stable, monogamous, settling-down-and-raising-a-family thing. This might sound really cold, but... could you ever really see her being a good mother, with her background and her baggage? Can you see her raising kids with a healthy outlook on the world? It's not her fault, she never really had a chance, but just ask yourself what your priorities are.
Kek of course you can't save this. She already cheated on you there rest is irrelevant wether it happened or not. In fact it would be less bad if it is all an elaborate lie
Never get married
OP here, I've been looking into Coach Corey Wayne and have been taking great care of myself, eating healthy, and literally hitting the gym everyday and stopped pursuing women and trying to find happiness within myself before I commit to a serious relationship. Have 2 girls lined up for possible days, one seems really into me but said she is busy till next week so I've been silent the past week, probably gonna text her with plans and see if she responds. Thanks guys
>>17196361
>She sounds like a bad person
get as far the fuck away from her as you can and never look back
>>17196385
This. I've had a lot of abuse and she is using it to excuse herself.
>>17196406
She told me that "she is never going to be happy and I like pain" and then "I've been happiest with this man than anyone, you were just a friend and I only used you to watch my dogs"
I'm going to start believing people when they tell me things. I think it's working out because one of my online profiles got a message with a girl saying my expectations were too high haha.
I feel like what Corey Wayne said that people will only treat you the way you let them treat you.
>>17196422
Not true. Sometimes stuff happens to us we have no control over. You were being a good person and lover and she wasn't.
>>17196428
I mean in like family, buisness, and romantic relationships.
Leave her
>>17196361
She's a piece of human trash. Her suicide will make the human race slightly better.
>>17196361
>Is anyone like this ever gonna get saved or get better?
Maybe, but thats up to her. The most important thing you need to take from this is that she is very sick. You can try to logically quantify the actions of a mentally disturbed individual all you want but its not going to make any sense because there is something wrong with her brain. As long as she continues to not play an active role in recovery any relationship or contact you have with her is going to be riddled with dysfunction.
>>17196385
>Being abused doesn't make you immune to being an awful human being. She sounds like a bad person.
I don't anyone accountable for their disease but I do for their recovery. Its easy to sit here and judge over the internet but take a moment and think about what it must of been like to be raped by your father as a child.
The impact that kind of trauma has on a child's brain is massive and often irreparable. Under no circumstance do I condone sugar coating or absolving a mentally ill person of their actions but to call her a bad person is just ignorant.
I doubt OP or anyone has ever really gotten to know the person underneath all of this girl's dysfunction.
>>17196418
>This. I've had a lot of abuse and she is using it to excuse herself.
That's what severe trauma is. Avoidance. Excusing yourself. Its the entire psychological foundation of personality disorders. If she didn't justify her actions with dysfunctional thinking and actually accepted responsibility for her life and the way she treats people and allows people to treat her then she wouldn't be sick, would she? That kind of thought process would make her a normal, well adjusted person.
I'm not not making excuses for her or even sympathizing, just stating the facts, and trying to shine a little light on the fact that attitudes like these,
>She's a piece of human trash. Her suicide will make the human race slightly better.
so many sick people fall through the cracks and end up hurting others.
