I am with my Bf for 8.5 years now, we have met when I was 17. He is a loving, good person. We have a good complicity and never yelled at each other. We live together for 5 years now and are going to Europe for 2 weeks in July. I know I love him, but i'm not sure if i'm still attracted to him as a lover. Daily life together is soothing.
I have an online "friend" that I know for 6 years now and I always had feelings for him, but our relation has always been complicated. We have seen each other like 10 times in the past and it always been awkward du to our big history of mixed feelings. 3 years ago, I deleted him because the relation was pretty toxic to me. I had too much feelings toward him and it was hurting so much (he was not interested in me).
I really tried to focus on my boyfriend but even if I tried to forget my online friend, he always stayed on my mind.
6 months ago, I talked back to him and we texted every day since then. 1 month ago, he invited me out. After that "date", he told me that he was interested, that is head was spinning thinking about me. The week after, we went to a bar, shared a meal and a few beers. Nothing physical happened.
I felt very guilty and told my Bf the morning after that evening. I left for 2 weeks at my moms house, trying to think about what I should do. I was never able to make a decision.
My friend started to find the situation awkward and too deep and it installed a discomfort between us because the relation cant develop naturally or easily, as I said it always been complicated between us and seems like it continues to be. My Bf sent me angry messages about how horrible I was and that he would not take me back. That made me panic and I just said everything that needed to be said for him to take me back.
So here I am now, at home again with my Bf since 2 weeks, having the same questions on my mind. I did not text my friend for these 2 weeks and it is awkward.
That summer trip stress me so much. What should I do?
>>17194608
Just cheat on him you know you want to
I feel sorry for your boyfriend.
You shouldn't be talking to other men while you are in a relationship.
I would not be able to live with this guilt. That is not what I want in relationships anyway.
>>17194629
They have been together since teenagers. 8.5 years? It's totally normal to crave other people. OP should dump her bf and see other people.
>>17194608
Complication makes everything better. Continue both relationships as long as humanly possible in order to maximize the misery you spread. The most important part is to NEVER make a real decision for yourself, and constantly be swayed by your emotions. Good luck!
If he's loving and a good person, and you love him, stay with him. What you feel is age and your love maturing. We are always attracted to novelty, but that doesn't mean that we would be more happy with that long term. If you have a good track record together, continue it. You wouldn't be happy either if your boyfriend exchanged you too a hotter 17yo. Relationships have a natural course where the initial attraction matures into mutual respect and deep friendship. Tell him your concerns, maybe spice up your sexlife. Trust him, after all you know him for almost a decade.
>>17194608
yes.
8.5 years of dating is pretty impressive. That's longer than most marriages.
If you think it is just awkward that you have ceased contact with your online friend, how do you think you would feel if you and your boyfriend ceased contact? Worse than just awkward?
Be smart about this OP:
You have a loving bf that you can trust and that you love and then there is this online friend who did not want you in the first place but now is interested and took you out for lunch and texted you, so he expects you to dump your bf you had for 8.5 years. You do not know this dude that well, you think you do, but you just fantasized about him for years.
I had a similar experience.
I got back to my bf, and don`t regret that decision.
Feelings for the other guy faded in time.
If you already got back to your bf, DO NOT contact the other guy. You do not realize, because you are young and have only been in one serious relationship, but what you are going through now is similar to a break up. It is normal to feel like shit and question your decision, but you already took a decision - you had time to think about it for 2 weeks - so stick with your decision. Good luck!
>>17194608
I was in your online friend's situation a while back. This doesn't end well for either of you.
Can your online friend provide the current security your BF provides, or better?
>>17194608
You're seeking the thrill of infatuation that comes with new romances. The emotions you can get can be incredibly intense, you can long for someone so much that your heart aches, but the truth is that those feelings always fade. You just get used to them and it gets boring. You can chase those feelings of infatuation, but then you end up going from wild crush to the next and you never get close to anyone.
True intimacy, companionship and love is much harder to build, more boring, but ultimately much more rewarding. If you've found someone you've actually got something real with, then throwing it away to indulge in the pleasure of a new fling is really really stupid.
Oh the 7 year itch huh.. That's quite normal. Most cunts go through this period where they wanna ride one final side dick before they marry. Lemme guess - your fag of a boyfriend proposed, or hinted at it, and you got scared that you were gonna lose your freedom, so you decided to live it out one last time but lack the ovaries and experience to go through with it. Am I right or am I right?
>>17196054
Ditto. It's bad enough that it fucked me up, but I feel responsible for her downgrade after me to living with literal trash.
>>17196062
You're unpleasant to be around. Get it together.
>>17196175
How do you know I'm unpleasant to be around? You've never been around me.
>>17196193
And I don't want to be: you sound cynical and petty.
>>17196202
Oooh hit a nerve didn't I? Well it does help to get real once in a while.
S L U T
L
U
T
>>17194608
8.5 years and not married. There's your problem right there.
He either feels comfortable with getting whatever you have to offer without marriage, and won't propose. Or he has proposed and you're the one who doesn't want to marry (though the former is more likely). Women cheat for emotional reasons - hence your emotional cheating on your boyfriend with this person online.
>>17196202
They may sound cynical/petty - but they may also be on to something. It really is the most logical explanation, because it's something that happens all the time with men in relationships who hem and haw around marriage for too long. This situation is nothing new.
>>17196221
yeah.. OP should get a reality check if she knows she's on 4chan where people tell you shit like it is.
also OP you're not a special snowflake. the 7 year itch is called a 7 year itch for a reason, because that's what women typically do and you're a typical woman
>>17194608
if youre willing to throw your vagina at some dude on the internet (yrs donent matter) youre not ready for a relationship. also he told you his head was spinning because he wanted to pump and dump you seeing how slutty and retarded you are.
A slut came here asking for assurance about not being a slut, but we called her a slut and now she's angry.
Deal with it, you're a slut.
You don't love your boyfriend otherwise you wouldn't be going on dates with another guy while with your boyfriend. You just want your bf to be there so you have a fall back plan if things with the other guy don't work out. You are trash OP and he is retarded for taking you back after you pulled this crap during a 8.5 year relationship.
>>17194633
>It's totally normal to crave other people
If you are a slut
>>17196286
>>17196300
lol come on dude a girl who's been with the same fag for nearly a decade isn't a slut
tell me you wouldn't look to the side for a moment if you're stuck with the same person for nearly a decade
you gotta be somewhat brain damaged to not look to the side for all that time i think
goood damn
>>17196310
Do the words commitment and loyalty mean anything to you?
>>17196321
............. what the fuck is 8.5 years if not commitment and loyalty?
you make it sound like nearly a decade of being committed to one person means absolutely nothing.
everyone inevitably goes through what OP's going through in a relationship. monogamy isn't natural to the animal world, including humans. and 8.5 years is fucking miraculous for young adults, let alone in our age.
>>17196335
Your grandmother and your ancestor were perfectly monogamous and healthy.
Just because you're a slut, it doesn't mean that everyone should be that way.
Fucking degenerate whore.
>>17196335
Why are you acting like we are the people who think nothing of 8.5 years when OP is the one who threw it away for a guy she was talking to for 6 of those years. If you want to date other people you break up with your bf you don't do it behind his back. Now there is a eternal scar in their relationship that will never heal and eventually lead to bigger problems even a permanent break up (hopefully if the bf realises he deserves better than to be played around with by some slut who thinks he is just a option)
>Should I leave my boyfriend?
seems like HE's already decided doesn't it?
He's an actual person, who deserves to be loved and someone whom he can trust, not someone who sees him as a safety net!
>>17196343
lol im not OP you tryhard troll
also monogamy back in the 60s was more or less forced, that is people didn't know better - you have a bunch of people in your village / small town and aren't aware of shit that goes on in bigger cities and the variety there is out there
it's no different than niggers in remote areas of africa where they have shit-tier traditions that aren't good for you, like bunjee-jumping off a big ass tower and hitting your head in the dirt to please the earth gods so the land is fertile, or drinking cow menses to grow huge cancer balls you can sit on
>>17194608
>I have an online "friend" that I know for 6 years now and I always had feelings for him
You have been leading your boyfriend on for the vast majority of your relationship. He could be married to a good woman by now if you weren't clinging to him like a life preserver because this online "friend" doesn't want you and you're too scared to just man up and be alone for a while.
Set your boyfriend free for fucks sake and sort your life out.
>>17196345
no woman dumps first and starts dating another guy later
they all secure the new guy wayyy in advance, way before they break up with their ex
that's why you get all these threads where guys are like "what the fuck happened my gf left me ALL OF A SUDDEN and got a new bf in 3 days"
no she didn't she's been dating him behind your back for months and she didn't leave all of a sudden, she was giving hints that shit was going down and you didn't catch up on them
>>17196343
Please tell me you're trolling. Unless I'm missing something, nothing really happened between them, and she was honest with her boyfriend about everything. She didn't cheat. She didn't break her "commitment" in any way.
Do you think "monogamy" means that a boy and girl can never break up or separate? They're bound together for life as soon as they kiss? You think most people have lifelong relationships where they never even have FEELINGS for another person? Grow the fuck up. You're in the wrong thread for this kind of shit. Go talk to the person who wants to fuck her girlfriend's father, you can let out all your whore-rage on a more acceptable target
>>17194608
make a decision to go all in and live with the consequences good and bad.
Either break up with the current bf but you must cut contact and cannot return if the new guy doesn't work out.
Or chose the current bf and go no contact with the new one.
I don't understand why a summer trip is stressful when you live with your current bf
It's hard to end a long term relationship that ostensibly ok but 8.5 years with no marriage commitment means you can and likely should get out
>>17196352
>no woman dumps first and starts dating another guy later
Spoken like a true whore who was never taught to respect your signs any other's feelings
>she was giving hints that shit was going down and you didn't catch up on them
Why does this give me the feeling that you've done this to a guy before and blamed it all on him?
>>17196348
If you can't even understand the differences between rural Africa habits and monogamy, I've got bad news for you.
>>17196353
>nothing really happened
So, you think "cheating" is only kissing or bjs?
OP has clearly cheated emotionally, texting every day with his friend. Do you think they were talkling about the weather? Her feelings were for the online friend, not her bf.
>>17196367
>signs any
Significant other's
>emotionally cheat on boyfriend for 70% of relationship
>only held back from actual cheating because the attraction is unrequited
>finally go on an actual date with the other man
>get rightfully dumped
>pull out all the stops to reel boyfriend back in
>"What do you think, /adv/? Should _I_ leave _HIM_?"
What the fuck is wrong with you, OP?
Yeah. Sure. Leave him. Save the poor fucker the trouble of having to dump you a second time.
>>17196367
again, i'm not OP
i'm just telling you shit the way it is
you won't find a woman who dumps her bf and then later starts dating
at worst she'll get dumped but she'll already have a bunch of guys in reserve and be back in the game in a month
>>17196381
>What the fuck is wrong with you, OP?
She's cleary a slut inside regretting the cock carousel.
>>17196437
man i just love it when a girl fails to enjoy life and fucks up so badly that both normies and 4chan fags laugh at her and pity her and comes here to moan about it and gets called a slut for emotional cheating
fucking classic
>>17196440
Slut shaming is good and right for sluts like OP.
