I currently have the emotional equivalent to watching paint dry and I lack any vitality, anger or passion. I do things simply because I should and I only wish I could care about something. Every time I muster up enough courage to tell someone I share how I feel and they give me good advice and I always feel better after. It's after I say my feelings out loud that I realise how silly I sound and next day I wake up everything seems fresh and I have energy and I go out and I do things. But then I relapse. I wake up the next day and I just stare at a wall and never get out of bed. I don't go to any lectures and when family calls or my gf texts me I have to lie about what I had for dinner because I ate nothing all day. I'm scared that I will be stuck in this cycle forever and it's been going on for the past year and a half. I want to be able to break out and never relapse again. How do i do this? What am I supposed to be doing about it?
depression is a real thing and treatments really work.
You have depression. Go get treatment.
>>17191608
I don't want to be another person saying I've got depression and treatment is like $150 a session where I am and takes months to get n appointment. I can't help but avoid help because it's so hard to get
>>17191559
Yep, sounds like depression. The actual medical kind, not the "i'm sad" kind that goes away on its own.
Go see a psychiatrist.
>>17191622
>$150 a session
>takes months to get n appointment
pick one, you either have govt-funded healthcare or you're in the US (where you pay and get it immediately)
Unless you're in Niger or some shit.
If there's a gigantic waiting list, go write your name on it anyway basically.
Chances are you'll still have this shit in 3 months when you get your spot.
And oftentimes you get meds instead of therapy, meds don't require constant weekly appts
>>17191622
>I don't want to be another person saying I've got depression
that excuse is dumb
>>17191637
I'm in New Zealand, middle class, lots of good family, a gf of 4 years. I don't think I could possibly have depression because I have so much going for me and there are people with way bigger problems and they don't even complain. But I just feel like this anyway.
>>17191659
>I don't think I could possibly have depression because I have so much going for me
When someone's poor as dirt, only has 1 shoe, and sleeps under an overpass, and they're miserable, that's normal. Normal people are miserable in miserable circumstances.
When someone's got a good house, nice car, loving girlfriend, supportive family, job they like, no problems at all, yet they're still miserable for no apparent reason, that's not normal. It means there's something wrong with them, and we call that depression.
>>17191659
>I don't think I could possibly have depression because I have so much going for me
your thoughts about how depression works are wrong.
depression is a medical issue. Medical issues don't review your social status before deciding to affect you.
>>17191675
>>17191677
thanks anons for responding, what your saying makes sense i'm just scared to believe it and I can't help but back out when i go for help. I just want to be myself again but I feel like i'll be stuck in the cycle no matter what I do. I know it sounds dumb but I feel like the way I am is the way people should be and that "getting better" is just ignoring truth which is something i'm not good at. I don't know how to word it, I just feel like I have thought may way down the path of no return
