So I'm attracted to married men. Not all married men, just handsome charismatic ones. When their wives are around my mind shifts into overdrive and I find myself thinking of them as enemies until I remind myself that these women are nice people and I shouldn't feel so selfish, competitive, or insecure. And it's worked. Until now I've never pursued a married guy before. I've even managed to maintain friendships with their wives. But there's one guy in particular I can't get off my mind.
He's indicated that it's mutual. The tension has been building every time we see each other and I'm finding it hard not to justify sleeping with him. On the one hand, we only live once. On the other.. that's where I'm having trouble.
Has anyone ever experienced something similar? Would it really be that horrible?
Pic unrelated
>>17190641
sounds hot do it
>>17190641
You know you're a slut when...
>>17190641
you should go out and find a guy you like and work on getting married rather than ruin someone's life i think
consider suicide instead.
besides, he'll just leave you for a younger, hotter girl eventually wheneveryou do hitch up like he did with that poor woman
>>17190692
LEAVE ME ALONE!!! VIRGIN!
>>17190641
I've been there. Spent several months meeting up with a married man once or twice a week at his place when his kids were at school and wife was at work.
It was sort of great for a while, but then I started feeling used a little and even more jealous of his wife knowing she had what I really wanted- a real relationship with him. Like you want to go out to fancy dinners and have fun just being together but that was never us.
No advice really. Do it if you want, but be careful not to get too attached. He will never leave her for you :(
>>17190692
>>17190719
>trite cliches instead of actual advice
>you know you're a peabrain when..
>you know you're bitter when..
>you know you're a hamplanet when..
>you know you couldn't attract a real man married or not if your life depended on it when..
Besides, having an attraction but not acting on it is called being human, not a slut
>>17190743
Ah, this is really eye-opening. Thank you. If it's not too much to ask, how did it eventually end? I'm curious
>>17190641
I had an affair with a married man in college and my now husband was married when I met him.
The affair was hot but it wasn't anything else besides sexual. He was a much older, handsome and successful business man and I was smitten. Every time we went out I felt amazing and he spoiled the shit out of me. Towards the end of the relationship I realized I'm always going to be the side chick and never the main one. Things fizzled out and last I heard he was still miserable in his marriage.
My husband was going through a nasty divorce when I met him. For the longest time I thought I was attracted to married men because they were off limits but then I realized I was attracted to successful men. Maybe you're just attracted to successful men too with the fact that most of them tend to be married?
Look, I'm going to type out an actual reply to this, because I feel like you're going to get the impression that this an acceptable thing to do just because the responses you've gotten are either trolls or couple of people in the thread that did it, and are now trying to justify it to themselves.
It's not okay, especially not on a whim like you seem to be wanting to do it on. This is someone's life and family you're messing with. You seem to think that it'll be a little harmless fun, but it's not.
>You only live once, right?
What does even mean in this context? If you randomly decided to kill someone in the street, are you going to justify it with this?
Anyway, don't do it. If you do go through with it, accept what you're doing and understand the magnitude of what you're doing instead of playing it off like certain other people in the thread.
I have a friend who kind of made a real phase of life out of being "the other woman" in a lot of these relationships. She pretty much summed it up in 3 parts:
1. Women can be the "other woman" but men can never be "the other man". Any guy you try to date on the side will resent it hugely the moment they find out they're the side piece to a married sleaze, and the married sleaze will get hella indignant the moment they discover you are actually looking for a guy around your agegroup and life stage - which will eventually happen, because the married sleaze will only look for you during his free time, with zero concern as to yours.
2. You can never do the same things with the married guy that he does with the wife. So, if he makes gentle love to his wife, all you'll ever get is degrading rough sex without foreplay. If he has a habit of going to restaurants with his wife, you will only ever meet up at diners. So the fucked up thing is, the worse he treats his wife, the better he treats you. Conversely, whenever he feels bad or guilty about his wife, he will take it out on you. And of course, if he decides he will want to leave his wife, he starts treating you just as badly as he did his wife...
3. It's very easy to get on the side of the guy and start demonizing the wife or start thinking that the wife somehow deserves this situation, or any other number of justifications to perpetuate this. Trust me, there is a LOT going on in someone else's marriage to have made things go down the path it did. You do not want this.
>>17192367
I'm not OP but explain to me what the 'magnitude' of fucking him would be. His fault for getting married, not hers. If it ruins his life, or his family's... again not her fault.
The only thing she is even borderline responsible for is ensuring he understands the potential gravity of the situation, and even then it's not really her responsibility.
>>17192424
I would explain, but based on what you typed, it seems like you're too much of a selfish person to understand.
>it's HIS fault for getting married
like really, the fuck are you even talking about
>>17190641
guys, this is just a troll, right? Women aren't really all just crazy whores, right? Please stop fucking with me like this. I can't live life like this.
>>17192446
Not all woman are crazy whores
Just most of them
Finding a good one is just one of the many struggles of life
And boy, will you struggle
>>17190641
saucalito
>>17190641
Hey OP.
I've been in a similar situation last year.
I have been dating my bf for 3months.
I met this engaged guy at my new workplace and we instantly felt a physical and emotional connection. He was smart and extremely charismatic. He would often ask in a subtle manner when we were gonna have sex. He also once told me that we would have been together if only we met earlier.
I have never had this attraction for someone while dating someone else.
However, I have never taken action because:
1) I have a strong belief that going behind his financee's back is morally wrong. I never wanted to be part of the deceitfulness of cheating.
2) I knew that these feelings would go away and I would regret being the "other woman"
3) I dont want be only part of a man's life. I want the full fucking meal.
4) I was dating someone else.
I understand the idea that if he isnt gonna cheat with you, it'll be with another woman. But would you really step so low to forget you principals and morals (assuming you have some)?
I suggest you do what you believe is right. I respect myself too much to just be a married man's temporary fun and I would never change my morals for a simple crush. I also suggest you sit down and ask yourself why you feel insecure and competitive.
Talk to a therapist who can help you and fix your problems. Remember that sleeping with married men is a temporary fix for your insecurities. Seeking a therapist is a long-term solution for your problems so then you can find a single man who will dedicate his life for you.
Sorry for the really long post. I hope this helps. Good luck, OP! :)
is it worth tempting a man to ruin his marriage just to get off? why can't you find another guy that is not married?
just because you only live once doesn't mean you should spend it hurting people
>Attracted to married men
You saying you're a woman?
>>17190641
Sauce on those tits?
>>17192967
eva notty
>>17192975
You, sir or miss, are an excellent, outstanding person.
>>17190886
>but then I realized I was attracted to successful men
You mean "Then I realized I was attracted to money".
Wow, really thought this thread would be dead by now
>>17192367
I'm really trying to understand the gravity. So far I can't. He's obviously not satisfied, their marriage is shit, and the wife is in denial. He came onto me. And the whole only live once thing is because, I have honestly never felt this way about somebody before. That's why it's got me on the fence
>>17192406
Thanks for taking the time to write this out. It's very insightful. I try not to demonize people though, honestly.
>>17190886
The first part of your story is kind of where I'm at right now. It's confusing. Anyway, congrats on a successful marriage
>>17192446
Being attracted to someone does not a crazy whore make, underage Disney virgin.
>>17192823
See, that's the thing driving me nuts about this guy. I've never had this attraction for someone, whether dating or not. It makes me really want to pursue him and find out why
>>17190641
>Pic unrelated
stopped reading right there.
i know, its the end of the post, but still.
stopped reading right there.
