>>17189691

heart break is the single most common thing in the human experience with the exception of breathing and death.

everyone gets it. everyone survives. those who dont are pretty fucking edgy trash who watched a few too many disney films.

all relationships end in one way or another. and thats not me being edgy dark. like vision said 'something isn't beautiful because it lasts'.

or if you want something a little less avengersy, here is a line from the sonnet of fidelity:
>I'll be able to say to myself of the love (I had):
>Be not immortal, since it is flame
>But be infinite while it lasts.


im not sure why the idea of 'eternal' love has become so popular. from an evolutionary stand point it doesn't make much sense. but its something we all yearn for at a young age and most of us let go of as we get older. especially in this day and age where you go from one romance to another.

just remember that back in the 'good ole days' the relationships only lasted 'forever' on a technical level. honeymoons end. true colors show. people change. dynamics change. at some point your wife feels more like a sister.

>>17189716
Hey, thanks for your reply.

You're definitely right. In the sense that everything is finite. Every moment is finite, because you'll never get the exact same moment back. I was not referring to the thing of 'eternal love', but maybe more of coping with loss.

>especially in this day and age where you go from one romance to the other
Maybe it's me being old-fashioned, but that's not really how I would like to imagine my relationship life.

You're right in the sense that things change, because they always do. Perhaps that's the good thing, as well as the tough thing.

Thanks for your view on this.

>>17189724

>thats not really how id like to imagine my relationship life

and maybe it wont be. but its best not to think of getting the girls as the climax to your movie if you catch my drift. shes never there in the sequel.

also if you wanna get REALLY old fasioned, humans arent really designed to live beyond thirty anyways, so assuming your wife didnt die in child birth you'd be together for like 15 years max.

>>17189727
>but its best not to think of getting the girls as the climax to your movie

That's one of the things I realized after my ex broke up with me. I was really afraid I could not really 'live' without her. However, some things turned out even better than expected. Some things did not, but then again, that's always the case. However, I've been seeing myself more as the main person in my own movie, more self-worth, I think.

Why is that, the thirty thing? I always think by myself that there are a ton of good days coming and I'm not even at my best, yet.

>>17189739

by thirty you begin to experience a decline. if you made it that far you were kind of the 'alpha' but now there is another alpha starting to take over.

as an alpha you got no one protecting you. its literally your job to protect your woman/kids, etc.

so say were harking back to ancient africa and some lion ass dude is coming to get you, and you and the alpha run, chances are you are getting eaten cuz the younger alpha is more fit than you.

also you gotta think about all the minor issues you have between 20 and 30 that are fixed by medical center, getting glasses, etc. in the wild you dont have those. you'd just have to cope and eventually die.

humans could make it as far as sixty depending on how far back you go and what the circumstances are, but if were going back to the basics of the basics, we arent supposed to live that long. most animals dont.

and consider even if you made it that far, whats the chances that your wife not only survives multiple child births but also doesn't just succumb to the same shit you're dealing with.

humans are not designed to have that kind of investment in each other beyond about 15 years.

Better to have loved and lost then not at all

>>17189749
So, what is your point? I see where you are getting, but are you saying that we should just keep an eye on this decline, or not to expect too much from life in general?

There are a lot of older people, though (including my parents) which have been together for 30+ years. So, it IS possible. Maybe that is some sort of dream state in my head. At least, I always wished that my first girlfriend would also be my first and only wife. Alas, that is now in the trashcan.

>>17189761

>So, what is your point?

my point is that humans aren't designed to create meaningful lasting loving relationships past a maximum of fifteen years. and you have to remember that two people getting together at 15 and surviving into 30 was still rare. we are simply not deisgned to live 'happily ever after'.

im not saying you shouldn't try, but if you go through life going 'WHY CANT I FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE ME FOREVER!!?' you are intentionally setting yourself up for disappointment.

you also gotta remember that you are only seeing those people interact in public. im not saying they are throwing plates at each other in private, but the honeymoon phase ends. you become more partners in life, and there are struggles cuz you want to slide back to that more fun time but you cant and it puts pressure.

my parents have been together for 25 years. they've had bumps in the road but are still growing strong. but its not the same relationship it used to be. i dont doubt that they love each other, but as we move into the future this is becoming less frequent, and again its not the undying devotion of love you think of when you imagine your own fairytale ending.

dont bother imagining one. work the best you can with your relationships but sticking with someone who no longer makes you happy isn't going to lead to a happy ending. marrying someone you aren't sure about isn't going to lead to a happy ending.

all im saying is that it is okay for relationships to end. like the sonnet of fidelity said, dont let it last forever, but let it love infinitely while it lasts.

>>17189778
Thanks for your explanation, I looked up the sonnet by de Moraes, it's beautiful, thanks!

>Marrying someone you aren't sure about isn't going to lead to a happy ending
>Sticking with someone who no longer makes you happy isn't going to lead to a happy ending
These just hit me in the head like a brick.

Thanks, thanks again anon.

>>17189790

no problem. glad you are open minded.

personally i love it all. hence why i find and save shit like the sonnet. i do enjoy when you have a long term tight bond with someone. but i also love the chase of someone new. or just getting to know people who do different things in romantic ways.

ive had the fitness girlfriend, and the anime girlfriend, and the science girlfriend, and the basic bitch girlfriend. but i also want to date the hipster girlfriend and the australian girlfriend, and the business girlfriend, and the milf girlfriend.

I want all the girlfriends. and theres nothing wrong with that.

>>17189798
There is a lot of happiness and luck to be found in the tragedy and the discovery of it all, though. Just like you said: you enjoy the long term tight bond, but also chasing someone new.

I think that, at this point, I'm just still putting myself together, looking for what I really want in life and getting my shit together in a more and better way. But, I have no doubt that, at some point, there will be 'someone new' or I'll be 'ready' for the more discovery-like phase.

You're basically saying that you want all the experiences! There is indeed nothing wrong with that.

>>17189823

pretty much yeah.

keep in mind when you think 'what i want in life' doesn't have to be for more than the near future. its okay to change your mind about what you want. its actually common for people to have two to three careers in their life because they discover something new. we are meant to try new things.

etiher way im glad you are open to exploring and personal development. its also okay to be alone (Which is something ive come to adore) so dont be afraid to learn how to have fun by yourself.

if you can have fun on your own, you can only have MORE fun with a partner. if your life is already awesome you dont worry about losing your partner, cuz it will just go back to what it was. awesome.

either way good luck man i need to get home.

>>17189830
have a great day anon