my boyfriend doesn't send me texts in the morning anymore is he less interested ?
he just doesn't seem to contact me as much throughout the day anymore and I usually end up calling or texting him and putting in more effort. he doesn't realy take me out frequently either. I don't know if he doesn't wanna be with me anymore but it feels like it and idk how to act in response. I did talk about it with him and he said nothing's wrong and etc etc he said I overreact and stuff and I said okay do you think we should break up and he said no or whatever and I asked him again and he said I don't know and he was crying and I said if you don't know I should leave and we should break up and I don't remember what happened but we didn't break up..
help??
>>17188531
oh and he also makes a lot
of promises he can't keep. we've been together a year and it's new behavior
????
Sounds like guilt. Either from an unkept promise or infidelity.
>>17188612
ugh idk.. I guess I'll never find out and I'm wasting my time I'm just gonna let him be and do my own thing
>>17188625
That won't work. Things like these need to be solved, or they will return much worse.
>>17188640
how??
like we've talked about it and he said that I just overreacting and he wants to be with me but not when I act like I'm overreacting and mad..
like idk he's just being distant there's nothing I can do about it. except if he acts like this idk what to do. honesty I'm thinking about breaking up with him. I could be having fun living my life making experiences but instead im ij a relationship with someone who barely communicates with me and doesn't take me out and do fun things with me. I'm not happy I'm gonna miss out on my life
I swear to god there will always be underage b8 on this board asking people why their boyfriend/girlfriend isn't texting them back
>>17188531
as a guy who really hates texting all the time i tend to text less and less as time goes by, only keeping it up if we have something to talk about
but if he cant keep promises thats not good, talk to him, see if he still wants the relationship
then think for yourself a bit and see what do you want
>>17188640
like the number of times where I've wanted to go out with another guy and have fun, go to the Beach, go to a pub with music and just have experiences which I don't get from him.
he doesn't take me out to experience fun things and he barely communicates with me anymore, I'm so bored of it ...
>>17188643
This is quickly becoming "he senses that you want to leave him and it's shutting him down" and not the other way around.
As a guy I think that you should start being more romantic and forward, remind him why he loves you not some other worthless slut
Affairs are always good to take your mind off your shit relationship.
>>17188651
he said he stil wants to be with me. and yeah. the things he doesn't keep is if he says he'll call me at x time and he never does, that he'll take me to x place and then doesn't. and it's at the point where if he says he'll do something, I think that there's a 70% chance he won't.
I wanna be with him, but I feel like he's changed. I don't wanna be with someone who makes me feel this way. I want to go out, experience life, make friends, do things fun with him. I know that's not all the time, but at least once a week would be nice. we don't even have to spend money we can just go to the beach I'm just tired of staying in and not even being taken out to dinner and just being bored out of my mind. if he communicated with me more, called me, texted me, made me feel loved I probably wouldn't care about the other things but I'm honestly really not happy at all, I think about how badly I wanna go out with other guys if they ask me I don't obviously because I'm not a cheater, but I want to :/
>>17188655
how?
>>17188654
I mean I don't think so? me "wanting to leave him"
is me sensing he wants to leave me and then wanting to leave him in response
>>17188643
>>17188652
I understand that he wants all the good parts from you and everything that you have to offer while not giving back anything that would take effort on his part but that's not a healthy relationship. Honestly, he sounds like a controlling loser who got bored of you and isn't really good at controlling.
>>17188663
eh he seems like the type who doesnt like going out and having dinner and i get that, i hate it and finding a girl who doesnt care about those things isnt easy at 21
texting too, if you wanna talk go talk to him, if you want to spend time with him go spend some time with him
if you think going out to dinner is fun? he maybe isnt the guy for you
if you wanna cheat? better to break up, cheaters are the scum of the earth
there are lots of guys who care more about social status and going out like that
>>17188678
yeah he honestly doesn't really put in effort anymore. we finally had a day to spend together and he said we could go out to lunch and go shopping and.. we drove 40 mins away for him to get a new tire on his car, waited for like 40 mins, drove back then went to this gross restaurant to have a drink with his friends that I have no respect for. like notning is ever about me and my happiness, and I'm not happy
>>17188680
maybe.. but... he goes out to eat and grabs drinks with his friends alllllll the time! it got to like 6 weeks
we're he didn't take me out anywhere that whole time
and like I said I would never cheat but I just think of going out and how I want to and how I don't get to do anything because I only have one friend and him and he never takes me out
I actually did just text him and he didn't respond
>>17188683
You know the solution.
>>17188715
it's not that easy and I don't really want to dump him.. like i wanna be with him still :/
>>17188694
well thats a dick move and i totally get that
if he can go out with guys all the time but cant take you out its not fair
you can go with his friends but he wont go with yours kinda thing? unfair
but the texting thing is just stupid and it gives me a really good question, do you and pretty much people in general expect your partner to text you as soon as you text them? is texting so important?
sometimes i didnt text my gf back for half a day, college, doing something, sleeping, playing a fucking video game and i didnt hear it
but in all honesty you seem like you need a different type of bf
>>17188719
The guy only thinks about himself. He doesn't even consider what you would like. What do you want from him?
>>17188723
I honestly don't know. he considers me sometimes, but more for small things like what kind of beer id wanna drink. but yeah we never really do anytning that j want to. it's like all about him. :/ I'm suggesting we go to the beach tomorrow but he said its not beach weather yet instead of saying he doesnt wanna go but it is beach weather I just had a differnt guy invite me to go today I obviously said no. (btw this is like the second time in our relationship I requested him to do something with me I want) it's literally like I can't live my life because my bf is my bf and his some sort of responsibility to do certain things with me and he doesn't and I can't even do it with other ppl cuz that would be cheating. it just sucks. like I honestly don't like hanging with his friends and doin all the shit he makes me do with him constantly(everytime we hang out) and he can't even go to the beach with me one time. I lost my virginity to him and I'm realy attached to him and I'm scared of breaking up. but idk the fact that he can't even do what I want to do two times in the past year is definitely changing my mind
>>17188760
you know you can go to the beach by yourself?
you know you can say no to going out with his friends
dont be all passive and then bitch about how he never gets it
communication isnt as hard as people make it
>>17188722
yeah. like if he just didn't like going out then I would accommodate that but he goes out to eat and grabs drinks almost daily with his friends and never takes me anywhere.
uhm, idk, sorta. it depends on a lot of factors
maybe I do
>>17188764
lol well it's not fun to go to the beach by yourself, and it's kinda his job to do things and experience life with me. that's what a relarionship is.
I do say no sowmtkmes, but I like Doing what makes him happy when I can, because again that's what a relationship is we're supposed to be a team not do things seperafe ly all the time and only meet up for sex. we're supposed to make experiences together
>>17188760
Small thigs, yes because that doesn't take effort from him. Guy sounds like a douche. I understand you are afraid of breaking up but you have to stand up for yourself or the rest of your life will be like this and you can dream about what could have been as a wizened crone with sagging tits but by then it will be too late.
Get a new boyfriend. Everybody changes overtime and his new direction isn't compatible with yours
Either conform to his new personality or find a new guy that's in sync with yours.
Hope it works out for you! be Happy
>>17188771
tl; dr: you're an adult he's a child.
>>17188764
and not even that but again I never ask any thing from him.
I've gone and done errands with him, hung with his friends and drink beer I don't like, and he can't even go to the fuckkng free beach with me one day. that's why it's annoying
>>17188776
true I guess I really have to think about this.
>>17188782
Only you can change your condition. You can give everything to someone you love except for one thing, your self respect. If you give that away, they will step over you and you will be miserable.
>>17188815
legit I just had two people so far ask me if I wanna go to the beach today . I can't go bc they're both guys, and also I have no money to buy a bathing sit because I had to buy plan b and he said he'll pay me back next time he sees me (but he's not going to unless I ask and I hate asking for stuff like that)
so he said he'll go but I'm 90% sure he'll bail on me tomorrow morning and say he was sleeping till like 3 and text me and then it will be too late to go
>>17188825
>plan b
He didn't even pay attention what he was doing. Did he?
>>17188825
>wants to go to the beach
>doesn't even have a bathing suit
your bf sounds like an asshole but you need to get your shit together
Makes sense why he's acting like he does. he's in control of the relationship
>>17188837
I mean he came inside me and I'm not on birth control because I'm allergic. he's done it before and I've had to take plan b like 7 times in the past year. I just feel like he should have gave me the money then or went and bought t for me! it's so expensive and I don't even have a job. should I ask him for the money when I see him? he otherwise won't give it to me.
>>17188838
lmao true, but part of me wanted to see if he would even go, and if he did I would get a bathing suit, but I just rememembered I spent $50 on plan b and I don't have money to :/
This is what happens after the "honeymoon period". Welcome to adulthood.
There will be exceptions, but that's how most men act after some time in a relationship.
>>17188838
and what do u mean it makes sense/he's in control
>>17188838
but also it doesn't matter because I'm more than half sure he will bail .. and we'll hang out tomorrow night and eitjer do nothing or drink gross beer with his gross friends
>>17188845
Listen i tried to be a neutral party but he seems just so fucking stupid
Plan b? You already fucked up
I dont know, break up and find a better guy
Fuck the texting its not a problem
But this behavior is mindless and it can ruin your life
>>17188848
Whats wrong with you
IF YOU DONT WANT TO YOU DONT HAVE TO
>>17188845
If you're not on bc, he shouldn't cum in you in the first place condom or make him pull out. Taking plan b regularly majorly fucks up your hormonal balance. Making you pay for his irresponsiblity is just the icing on the cake. Your boyfriend's irresponsible, uncaring, selfish, and immature. The guy has enough red flags to start a communist revolution. You really need to consider being with ag guy like this even if you got used to his bs.
>>17188851
what do you mean exactly?
>>17188855
maybe. yeah like I said I've taken it like at least seven times in the past year, but in the past month I've taken it twice now. :/ and I've told him how bad it is for my body and can't make me infertile. idk like a couple of the times he's asked me if I could San we would take plan b and I said yes so it's not entirely his fault if I convinced him to. but he definitely should have went and bought it I don't even have a job. should I ask him for the money? I'll jus the like hey sorry but I had to buy plan b and I don't have a job so can you pay it back for me please
>>17188847
Right now it seems he has options and you don't. doesn't seem like he will cheat on you. But he's a lazy asshole who's on cruise control doing what he feels like. Because he knows you don't anywhere else to go.
You should go out with one of those guys and just have fun tbqh. doubt he will suspect anything anyway.
>>17188859
Of course you should, and if he cums in your again tell him to fuck off. This can seriously make you infertile and ruin your body. That you were ok with his bs this far tells that you have alarmingly low level of self worth or you don't understand what you are playing with. This is your life ffs. Stand up for yourself.
>>17188872
lol well I don't have options because I'm in a committed relationship and if I wanted to hve options and act single I would.
he definitely suspects absolutely nothing of me. But idk is rather break up with him first before doing that.
idk why he would be on cruise control wit options when he's in a relationship. I could have options to but I choose not to
>>17188877
trueeee. I might already be infertile like what the hell am I doing
>>17188883
Ok, but do something about it. You can't just tell it's ok and do nothing about it. That's like procrastination, it leads nowhere. If you want change, you need to push your limits that you got used to and do something about it, yes it's stressful, yes, it's confrontational, yes, you will suck in the beginning, but without you nothing will change.
>>17188855
She LET him cum in her. Doesn't sound like single-party irresponsibility to me. They're both being stupid.
>>17188878
He's on cruise control because it's convenient for him and you let him get away with it, and he's exploiting that.
>>17188901
thanks that's really good advice. I'm gonna ask him to pay me back tomorrow for plan b, and if he bails on me going to the beach I'm going to seriously consider breaking up with him.
>>17188934
you're right . well he asked me to visit him to work tonight at 6, he gets an hour break, and sowmtkmes I've bent over backwards to see him.. for an hour.. and brig him food even. what should I say so that I don't go?
>>17188919
I mean I didn't let him he did it and then told me after. he didn't ask me to. it's not like I knew he was cumming and had any control of he situation and was like get the fuck off me
>>17188878
sorry when I said options I didn't mean it in a sexual way where he will date other people. In a daily lifestyle way. He can hangout with his friends whenever and has a job.
Get a job and a new boyfriend.
>>17189011
ohhh. that makes sense. yeah I'm going to try to reconnect with my old friends. and I've been trying to get a job as well
>>17189003
>thanks that's really good advice. I'm gonna ask him to pay me back tomorrow for plan b, and if he bails on me going to the beach I'm going to seriously consider breaking up with him.
OK, but don't bail on yourself. Now as you are, you're practically a doormat. Respect yourself. Promise it to yourself, and if you promise something to yourself keep it. Go to the mirror and tell yourself that I'm not a doormat, I'm a valuable human being, I have worth. At the beginning you will suck at standing up for yourself but if you fail see where you did wrong and never do tgat again, and tomorrow you will suck a bit less. You need to get the suck out of it with practice just like with any other skill in this world.
>>17189041
true. I know it's gonna take practice and displine and whafy. have to practice everyday but I deserve to be happy to and someone who respects my happiness as well
>>17189003
Tell him that you're tired. He should respect that.
Have some self respect and don't bend over backwards and jump as soon as he throws a bone.
>>17189057
idk it's not for like five hours so I need an excuse now
>>>17189003
>I mean I didn't let him he did it and then told me after. he didn't ask me to. it's not like I knew he was cumming and had any control of he situation and was like get the fuck off me
That's practically rape but whatever.
For your own sake don't let this happen again. Condom or make him pull out. And he pays for the consequences. Irresponsible children shouldn't have sex anyway.
>>17189061
Have a life. If you can't come up with a single idea for a valid excuse that means your life is practically empty.
>>17189072
true but honestly right now my life is really empty :/ I legit have one friend and she's busy, I don't have a job (I'm trying to get one). so I actually have nothing to do. I mean I'm
going to drop off my resume then return a tank at the mall and see if I can afford a bathing suit but that's my plans for the day. :/
>>17189072
I don't like lying but I could just lie and say I might be hanging out with my friend?
I mean I'd love to be at the beach then the pub with love music tonight with this guy and his friends (who I actually like and get along with) that asked me to go.l but I consider that cheating. and two guys asked me to the beach today but they both like me so I'm obviously not going to.
>>17189055
Good, just start doing it instead of telling me it's true, and don't do it just for yourself, that's selfish. Do it for others as well.
If you don't respect yourself, you are calling for others to be douches. People sometimes don't realize that what they are doing is wrong and they need an external person to provide realistic and constructive criticism, with that you can help them be decent. That's why people need honest friends. If you are a doormat you give them positive feedback and affirmation for every douchey thing they do and a reason to quiet their conscience, you become the enabler. Respect is a mutually beneficial thing in any relationship.
>>17189107
true. I'm actually glad I can ask him to pay me back tomorrow and like hve a standing ground for him if he bails on the beach I have a right to be mad (he usually gets mad at me for the shit he does wrong)
>>17188531
Stop forcing a break up whenever you are feeling insecure about your relationship, it's a very immature way to deal with things, if he says nothing is wrong and he wants to be with you then trust his word. If you are unhappy in your relationship at all then you need to talk to him about the things that make you unhappy otherwise if your only problem is doubting whether he wants to be with you even after he has said he does then you have some growing up to do.
>>17189085
Fill it up with content. The world is beautiful and full of interesting things. Have hobbies, seek challenges, learn something, volunteer, get new friends, there are a lied of things in life you shouldn't waste it.
>>17189092
I wouldn't recommend lying. It should be a feelings thing that he should respect. Go to the beach with your girlfriend. Socializing with guys isn't cheating, that's bs. If they make sexual advances and you don't reject them that is cheating.
>>17189144
lol well I have one friend like I said, trust me otherwise I would . and I thiink going to the beach with guys
who I've kissed before in the past is cheating, and they like me, soo it's not right
>>17189152
If you kissed them and they want something from you, that's different.
>>17189157
well yes they both like me and probably want something with me, so yeah it is differnt. I find it impossible to make friend with guys casually. but anyway yeah . I hVe a lot to improve in my life
>>17189112
>>>17189107 (You)
> (he usually gets mad at me for the shit he does wrong)
That's abuse. This guy is so full of shit it's a miracle it isn't dripping out of his ears. Just break up with him, for everyone's sake. You need a life and someone who respects you, he needs a lesson.
>>17189170
well yeah..
whenever he does something shitty and I get mad he gets mad at me for getting mad. like for example the one other time I asked him to do sowmrhing with me I asked him to go out to dinner at my favorite restaurant an hour away. he went out to lunch like two hours before with his friend snapchatting him with drinks and stuff and then when I came over he didn't wanna go anymore and I was upset and he got mad at me for being mad. and he always does stuff like that to the point where I walk on eggshells I'm not allowed to be upset even tho he always makes me upset and he sucks at communicating
>>17189160
The secret to guy friends is to have someone who is not attracted to you. Then friendship works.
How to make then not attracted to you? Be masculine with them.
>>17189180
lol I mean I'll try but I've never ever ever ever Been able to make friends with a guy . like I've tried but then when they realize we're just friends they stop communicating with me etc.
>>17189179
>well yeah..
>whenever he does something shitty and I get mad he gets mad at me for getting mad.
That's lack of impact control and manchild behavior.
>like for example the one other time I asked him to do sowmrhing with me I asked him to go out to dinner at my favorite restaurant an hour away. he went out to lunch like two hours before with his friend snapchatting him with drinks and stuff and then when I came over he didn't wanna go anymore and I was upset and he got mad at me for being mad.
That's just bitch behavior on his part and throwing a tantrum for no reason.
>and he always does stuff like that to the point where I walk on eggshells
Which you shouldn't, instead you should call him out on his bs. (not being doormat)
>I'm not allowed to be upset even tho he always makes me upset and he sucks at communicating
He's a child, you're his mommy, plus therapist, plus servant, plus cumdump.
This is not a healthy relationship.
>20+ stoner
>work 40 hours a week
>introvert
>get off and just go home
>girlfriend fine with that
>2 years later
>why don't we go out more, why don't we do anything, I want to go to the lake, let's go to the park, let's have a fancy dinner
>>17189208
ha maybe similiar to me idk I was okay with doing nothing/what he wants for a while but I guess I want more and I wanna live my life. maybe she feels the same. it's fine to do nothing but after a while it gets boring.
>>17189183
Guys usually do that if you are flirty with them or overly kind and they can misinterpret your behavior. They catch feelings, think you were leading them on and stop communication not to get emotionally hurt even more. Be confident, firm, and open about being just friends. Also, friendships need to start with something common. If you just try to be friends for the sake of friendship without anything behind it, people will misinterpret.
>>17189179
This is clearly abuse and emotional blackmailing. What are you even doing in a relationship like this?
>>17189214
Then go do something, that's what I don't get.
Let me play video games and watch sportcenter, leave me alone and go out.
I'll be home when you get back, and we can snug all night.
>>17189221
idk I didn't know it was that bad
>>17189229
r my bf were supposed to experience life together not do seperafe thing and just see each other for sex
>>17188845
Your boyfriend's an asshole. Leave and never look behind.
>>17189245
You get all the blame and Shane, and he gets whatever he wants, yes that's bad.
>>17189253
shame
>>17189253
>>17189246
yeah idk. I'll see if he actually goes to the beach w me tomorrow but I suspect he'll say e was sleeping through the morning we'lll see . if he doesn't I'll give him another chance but I wanna be with someone who respects me and loves me and cares about me and my happiness too, and doesn't break promises.
>>17189288
Do whatever you want just sick with what you promised yourself, no more tomorrows and no more next chances. That's doormat talk.
I have to go. Wish you happiness and an interesting fulfilling life with whomever you end up with.
>>17189300
thanks so much I really appreicte all ur help and yes I'm going to remember that and discipline myself
>>17189288
Look dear, your boyfriend is a fuckboy and you know it. He abuses his power over you and doesn't let you flourish and be yourself. You're not supposed to be a slave and bend over backwards for someone's every whim, that's not love. That's codependence and leads to an unhealthy relationship. Be strong and start walking your own way, be a person and bring happiness to yourself and to the people around you.
>>17188531
I'm talking to this girl and she used to do the same thing but stopped after we got into an argument lel
>>17189366
yeah I guess it's true :/ idkk things are lot looking good I even asked him now can we hangout at 12 for the beach and he hasn't responded because he probably plans on bailing or won't commit to a plan or early plans. yeah idk our relationship is over. I ask him to put in the slightest amount of effort and he cant.
>>17189409
>things are fine and he's an introvert
>FUCKING LOSER PIECE OF SHIT, L2 GO OUTSIDE. YOU'RE ALONE AND WORTHLESS
>>17189459
I already said he goes out daily with his friends..
>>17189466
i don't know man i'm just looking at this from my perspective 'cause my GF bitches about the same shit, and I'm tired of it.
Like, damn bitch chill the fuck out we're going on vacation next month.
>>17189409
You need to stand on your own feet. I know codependent relationships can be comfortable but you must feel that something is not right. This is not you, this is an empty shell of you. Start building your own life. If youth can't live yourself you can't live others either. I'm cheering for you girl.
>>17189484
lol idk I'm just saying it because like even if you are that doesn't mean you guys hibernate for a month. like that's not Coool. time is precious I want to live my life and make memories and experiences not chill at someone's house and call it a rwlationship. I'm not even asking him to spend money on me
>>17189485
thanks and you're right :/
>>17189497
been there, done that, yadda yadda.
I like living in relaxation and comfort. I was reckless and exciting for years, long enough to know it's not the lifestyle for me.
I make a much better square than anything else.
I work hard at my job to have enough funds to have my household be the most comforting place in the world to me, and when life knocks I answer, but I don't mind waiting one bit.
>>17189485
Love, not live. Wrong auto-correct
>>17189497
look it's obvious you're in a non compatible relationship
he wants to be comfy and controlling and you want to be free and happy. plenty of guys are into that. time to go find him
he probably thinks he is doing u a favor by dating him since you have no friends or money atm.
100 responses nobody tells her:
dont ask your BF shit like "does you not texting me mean you want to break up?" That treats him as seismograph, which men clearly arent.
instead realise, that your feelings mean, that you are missing something in the relationship so better word it "i am not quite happy with the relationship atm, I need some more texts and dates, at least X Dates a month and y texts per day"
Men are problemsolvers, so present them a problem, they arent seismographs, because they arent taught to feel into themselves.
>>17189506
why does going out to dinner and trying new food, or seeing a movie in theater, or going to a museum or play have to entail being wreck less lol. I mean experiencing life together not getting shit faced and wrckeless lmao. going to see a movie is 20$ for two people and pretty calming.
>>17189562
why are you acting like $20 for a movie is not a big deal? You don't have a job atm.
My ex-gf used to complain about not going out more and I told her if she wanted to do it so badly she should pay for the both of us. or atleast half
I'm an asshole ik but just break up with him. he isn't for you
>>17189581
lol okay well it got to six weeks of not doing anything like not even going for a walk. that's a long time. and I thiink a guy should be able to spend $10 a week on a. girl to take her to lunch or to a movie.
I asked him an hour and a half ago if 12 is good for the beach tomorrow and he hasn't responded but he's on instagram. clearly he doesn't plan on going/ care abut how I feel
>>17189590
Get a sugardaddy or just some older guy with money who's bored and wants a girl to have adventures with.
Im poor as shit college kid and still try to go out once every two weeks.
>>17189616
ok! if he had no money I would understand but he has money and he goes out to eat / drinks everyday !! $10 a week on money is notning. but even so I'm asking him to go to the fucking beach with me that costs zero dollars. even if he was broke we could do fun free things once a week.
>>17189627
Don't get sugar daddy, get someone decent who loves you and respects you. You sound down to earth and having reasonable demands and not a sugar baby wanting to be spoilt.
>>17189638
exactly like I don't even need money to be spent! if we went to the beach once. week, or even go on a walk on a trail, I would be more than satisfied! I don't need tons of money spent on me I just need effort and experiences with him
>>17189499
You need to start living. I know it's within you. Just have a little confidence in yourself and start seeking challanges. Become an interesting person.
>>17189659
I knowwww. :/ do you have any suggestions
>>17189665
It really depends on you.
What do you like?
What are you good at?
What are your interests?
What would you be like to be good at?
How do you imagine your life?
What is important and valuable for you?
Are you introverted or extroverted?
Ones interest is other people's boredom.
>>17188531
You have borderline personality disorder.
>>17189643
That's pretty normal what you want. Hope you get what you want, good luck.
>>17189638
Do get a sugar daddy. The good ones are decent people who want to spoil their sugar baby.
t. sugar daddy looking for a baby
