I have been with my gf for 7 years. We both still live with our parents in order to save money to buy a house. She is a very scatter brained person who is hardly ever organized and often drifts off into lala land. She is often late either coming to my house, showing up for school/work etc. She forgets about events until the day before or of, etc.
This past semester she was super busy with school so I barely got to see her. Maybe once on a weekday for 3 hours then sleep, and then maybe once on the weekend for 5 hours then sleep. I understood this and supported her and knew she would be busy so I never made it an issue.
However near the end of the semester her birthday came up and she also had a four day weekend. Instead of spending it with me she made plan after plan with her friends for 3 of the 4 days, each day blowing me off on that day saying "oh I didn't mean to stay that late" "i'm tired, I'll come over tomorrow" etc then the last day she sent me a text asking me to come with her to some dinner with her friends and I got really mad that she had blown me off all weekend and then decided to what seemed like to me, just tag me in at the last minute just so she could go to this dinner. Maybe I should have went, I don't know, but at the time I was just so pissed I had been blown off all of her birthday weekend that her inviting me there just seemed like she really just wanted to be with her friends. So I didn't get to see her that weekend, and it wasn't until the next weekend I was able to see her.
Then when the semester ended she had to stay home and watch her sister for two weeks, which again I understood, I just felt sad I couldn't see her then.
Well after she was done with that, now the past two weeks she's had nothing to do other than prepare for next semester, no job, not in school right now.
>continued
>>17187842
In 10 days I leave to start driving trucks over the road which means I'll be gone for 3 weeks at a time and back for maybe 3 days before going out again. She knows I was hoping to spend as much time together as possible before I left but she has just been flakey, telling me she will be over at 5pm, then it turns to 7pm, then she'll text she's actually not coming over, she has to "clean" or "organize" or get stuff ready for next semester and set up her internship. Today I won't be able to see her, but yesterday we were both free all day, but she decided to just stay home because she "felt tired" and needed to do stuff, which I told her could be done today when we couldn't see each other. She only responded with "it's not a big deal, we have plenty of days left" knowing it's only 10 days till I leave.
She knows what it's like to be away for awhile because for 2 years of our relationship I was in the Army. I don't understand why she's acting like this, and when I bring up the fact that she's flaking on me all the time, she says that I'm "needy." All I want is to spend time with her before I have to leave home to drive trucks for at least a year and I feel like she's just flaking on me often, and not really prioritizing seeing me, when my most important thought at this point is to spend as much time with her as I can before I leave.
Am I being too clingy or something?
Sorry for the long story, but I felt I should explain it well.
>>17187844
>She only responded with "it's not a big deal, we have plenty of days left"
I forgot to mention, after that I tried to call her, but she ignored my call (another thing she frequently does if she's upset because I'm upset), and then texted "I just don't feel like dealing with it right now, I'm tired and we can talk tomorrow"
It infuriates me that she ignores my calls when I'm angry with her about something.
Sounds like she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but doesn't know how to break it off with you.
>>17187884
this, sounds like this relationship is over, sorry bro
>>17187892
>>17187884
I don't think it's that extreme, I guess I did leave out that she has been hanging out with me these past two weeks maybe every 2 days in the evening, just not as much as I had hoped. I had hoped to spend whole days with her, take her on small day trips, and stuff, but she's just been showing up around 5pm and then leaving in the morning. Last summer we hung out all day almost every day.
She's always liked her alone time here and there, but the flakiness is really starting to get to me
>>17187884
This.
You don't do shit like this to somebody you hold dear and who is important to you. She wouldn't be like this to her friends, would she?
It really sounds like she doesn't want to be with you.
Maybe confront her about it.
Maybe don't contact her anymore and see if she messages you at all in those three weeks you're gone. It's a shitty game women like to play but whatever.
>>17187915
>She wouldn't be like this to her friends, would she?
Yes, some of her friends have told me she acts the same way towards them too. They even have a name for what she does when she flakes, or is late, etc "Anontime"
I confronted her today if she even wanted to be with me through text and she assured me she did. I asked many different ways, and made absolutely sure she still wanted to be with me. She would have said something, but she seemed sure. She just said "I know I can be selfish sometimes, and I'm so disorganized it makes it seem like I don't care, but when you get mad I just don't want to deal with it when I'm tired and frustrated myself, it could wait till today."
I explained people who love each other answer phone calls, even if they're tired or frustrated.
