I'll be your friemd, Opie.

I'm going to be honest with you OP. I don't give a flying fuck about you or any hope for your future.

So then why am I commenting? Because even through what you have been through (and it's not that much;19 years is nothing. I'm 28 and went through what you are going through..it doesn't get easier) seems like the end; it's not. And shit is going to get better. Even with anxiety and being bipolar.

You do need to take things day by day. And to add onto that, Do one thing every day that makes you happy. There's going to be a billion more small things to beat yourself up over to come. You just gotta focus on the ones that are debilitating your focus on life.

You're probably a really smart kid. You've already gone through an experience most kids your age won't even appriciate. And I'm not saying to be happy about it but you already have a crazy world view because of your disorders. You have a chance to use it to your advantage. Do you have any hobbies? Anything artistic? That's some relief you need to get out. Sounds dumb as fuck but art therapy of any kind can and will help for moments of lapse or for just the need of expression.

You become your own person by just taking a risk on yourself. I'm not saying doing a 180 lifestyle change. But how about instead of a burger with ketchup, get mayo. Instead of standing up to pee, sit down. Instead of regular milk, have chocolate. Does all that sound lame as fuck as examples? Good. Because that's what being your own person is about. You do shit YOU want to do. Decide what YOU like. Even if it means taking a risk and doing something small you don't normally do. From there graduate to bigger things. Go to parties, ask out that girl--actually fuck that; flirt with her. You need to gain experience in anything to gain that confidence..

Sure a lot of people suck, only a fraction of people you will run into are worth keeping around but at least then you can slightly have someone to depend on.

>>17185966
>>17186452

When I mentioned doing something artistic, that can also help you with something to call your own. It doesn't matter how shitty you are or begin with (Everyone has to suck to get better) it's more of enjoying the process of creating that is going to give you something to call your own. In turn, that usually attracts people to you, people want to be your friend, people want to get to know you.

If your upset about having noone to love or love you back, well the harsh reality is you need to work on yourself and it's going to take a while to bounce back from it but trust me when I say this. If nothing else, you need to work on yourself and priorities, and needs (you basically need to get your shit together) in order to be able to give yourself along with taking care of another. This is another human being with their own set of issues. Remember that on those desperate love moments. Don't do anything rash in that sense.

Are you getting any help? Are you activally fighting yourself/negative thoughts? If you can at least take a shower, get out of bed, and eat something; your already winning in the small steps book.

Small steps feel dumb as shit and yeah, they're fucking a trial and error thing, but you haven't given up yet. You're here asking for advice. Just asking is another small step. Just sitting there and reading this on your computer after I press enter is a win if you understand what I'm saying. It's all about perspective man.

And you lost yours along the way. There's nothing wrong, shameful, or shitty about that. This shit is going to make you stronger if you chose to be. You know all those gay ass quotes you see on facebook, those motivational quotes? As bullshit as they can seem, at some point someone else lost their way but in a small tidbit sentence, is letting you know it's going to be alright. It's hard to say that in a sentence when all of this is super complex to begin with but sometimes you need those dumb quotes to get better

>>17186452
>>17186488
>>17185966

I said at the beginning that I don't give a flying fuck about you or your future and although, that' somewhat true (it's only because I have no idea who you are anon) but you came here reaching out because you took a small step to get your life back. It got taken away and I know that feeling. I didn't have to give a shit this long, I could have just moved on and jerked off or something. But I wanted to take the time to write to someone else who is suffering, that it's going to be alright. This is your journey OP, there will be many players coming and going. It's up to you to flight or fight the moment, sink or float.

Youre life is far from over. In fact, it really has just begun. It's a crazy ass roller coaster that is not going to let off anytime soon. But hang in there. the days that are great, cherish that feeling/memory. The days that are bad are going to suck. It's going to seem hopeless but you came this far through 19 years, you know deep down it's a passing emotional moment. Just breathe and let it pass. Tomorrow is a forgiving day.

>>17186503
Not op but I want to be your friend.
Great speech

>>17185966
>I need someone.
>I literally need someone. How do I stop being emotionally codependent. My ego is extremely fragile and I'm over emotional. Been diagnosed with anxiety disorders and bipolar, I'm 19, a male, and so far my life went to the shitter.

>How do I stop needing other people. How do I become my own person? I feel like I have nothing to call my own, no one to call my own, no one I can depend on and at the same time nothing I am a master of.

>Going back to Uni after mental breakdown and two years of psych wards, homelessness, etc. this fall.

>Any advice appreciated. I've been told to take it day by day and stop beating myself up over small stuff, trying but its hard. At this rate I'm not going to be able to hold a job and live on my own, I'll be homeless again. Please help.


Went through this problem when I was younger. Took care of it in an unorthodox way.

Look back at anyone who did something. Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, VanGogh, Vivaldi.

Read their books. Everything they had written. Then when dealing with an issue, ask what they would do, and do that.