How do you deal with a suicidal man-child?
My brother is almost 27 and still lives at home. He's a kv and has never worked a day in his damn life. He does fucking nothing to help anyone ever but himself. No chores, no cooking. He's never made a bed in his life.
He's emotionally ignorant and extremely unappreciative of the fact that his whole materialistic lifestyle in his little room is all the backbone of my elderly mother's hard work.
Yet he uses anger and threatens of suicide as a weapon, ignorant to the effects of peoples' emotions from the consequences of his actions. Honestly, in ways I do wish he would die since he's nothing but a leech and a burden, but that would upset family.
How do you approach such a situation?
As long as your mother supports him you can't do anything.
>>17185896
>suicidal
Sounds like the problem can work itself out just fine if you stop resisting it. It'll hurt, but it's less of a lingering hurt.
>>17185898
She won't stop supporting him.
So I should suppress my anger towards him and just let things carry on as they are?
>>17185900
Is this bait? Obviously him killing himself will wreck the rest of my mother's life (and largely mine, due to cascade effect)
>>17185901
You can try having a talk with her about helping him stand up on his feet but hostility won't get you anywhere.
>>17185909
Is it fine when you say it but not me? Take that card away from him. Call his bluff.
>>17185898
sounds like its your parents fault desu. im 22 and my parents never really taught me how to be independent, i had to continuously ask them to show me how to do things. its annoying. i understand your brother probably doesent help himself but that is because he is used to living how he does and is scared of change. alot of people would live like him if they could. your mom needs to stop being silly and supporting it.
>>17185910
People have tried. And I can't help but feel anger towards him due to the fact he's creating misery for my mother, which stops me from wanting to help him. I just want to smack the shit out of him and teach him some fucking discipline. Despite saying that, I'm not a bad person, but the only alternative is to suppress my anger but it doesn't feel natural.
>>17185921
My father left us 15 years ago, so that's the reason.
>your mom needs to stop being silly and supporting it.
She won't stop because she loves him. And if she did stop he would probably use threats of suicide as a weapon again.
>>17185922
You aren't a bad person for wanting to smack sense into a stupid sibling. You're a potentially bad person for not acting on that impulse. He needs a hard lesson.
>>17185932
if she loves him, she would get him help. she must understand that this is ruining his life. i was a neat for about a year, i know how your brother feels. he is depressed as fuck, and due to being dependent on his life style for so long, he is afraid of change. the longer this goes on, the harder it will be, he is already at the age where it is going to be extremely difficult for him. what i think you need to do is show him love and understand, and gradually get him to go outside more, get him socializing with people, take him to therapy.
>>17185949
>You're a potentially bad person for not acting on that impulse
The only thing stopping me is the prospect of upsetting my mother.
>>17185954
>what i think you need to do is show him love and understand, and gradually get him to go outside more, get him socializing with people, take him to therapy.
I think you're right. It's the only solution. I guess I'll have to let my anger out through other means like a punchbag or something
>>17185972
Your mother could use a good upsetting. It's time for her to grow up, too.
>>17185972
working out is good for releasing anger.
>>17186013
Thank you
Your mother is encouraging her son to be an idiot and will continue in this vein until she dies. It is a terrible consequence of single motherhood not just because her son has no male influence to give him the example he needs but she will also hold immense guilt at leaving you both without a father. Not only will that be troublesome in itself but as the only remaining parent she will naturally blame your father for the effects of his absence which once again turns back as guilt at her own actions or inabilities preventing the formation of a proper family.
Don't worry too much about fixing this as yet, work on understanding the twisting interactions of this early damage to them both (and you perhaps) then insert your own little bits of 'help' such as, taking your mum away for the weekend perhaps.
Good luck OP. You have a common but as yet quite unexplored family dynamic to engage should you wish to. I would give it a go.
>>17185896
>Yet he uses anger and threatens of suicide as a weapon, ignorant to the effects of peoples' emotions from the consequences of his actions.
You're wrong. He knows exactly what it does to the emotions of the people around him. He just doesn't care. It keeps you compliant, and he faces no consequences. He has no intention of killing himself. This is a standard trick in the abusers' playbook.
Despite this, my advice to you is to play it totally straight. The next time he threatens to kill himself, call the police and tell them that he is threatening to kill himself. An encounter with your local mental health system will teach him not to pull this shit with you again. And who knows? It may even get him the beginnings of the help that he clearly needs.
