/adv/, help me.
How can I deal with arrogance? I just got this very negative feedback from my peers and boss.
The thing is that I never fully realized this until now. I'm a very insecure, critic, and hard to deal person, and over the last months it just got worse, my stress level raised like never before and looking back, it feels like i've been an asshole most of the time.
Over the last month I had this wierd felling, as if the universe was conspiring against me, now it feels like everything makes sense.
I need to act, now, or I may lose my job - which is not an option for me, but I dont know where and how to start.
I'm thinking of speaking up at our weekly meeting tomorrow, and apologize for my behavior.
You should clarify what you have been acting like to us. I assume you suck at most of your job, and to compensate your a negative nacy/hyper critical of everyone else's work. Is that right/did I miss anything?
>>17185356
Yes, I do have some difficulties at my job. People also rated me as being disorganized, which I agree 100%. I'm working on that.
At the workplace I'm very quiet person. I find it very difficult to connect with people there and when I'm facing a conflict - a healthy discussion -, I tend to impose my way of thinking in an arrogant way.
I also have a problem with the way I articulate my way of thinking. When someone disagrees with me, I act with impatience.
I also tend to be very selective with the people whom I talk to.
I think that the font of this arrogance of mine comes from the fact that I don't know how to socialize.
My life is so messy right now that I don't feel this huge need to be a fun, cheerful person, who likes to talk to everyone, about everything.
Good on you. Recognizing you have a problem is half the battle. Now you just have to finish what you have started.
I think a public apology is a good first step. Apologize for your behavior (it helps if you list specific behaviors, it wins you brownie points with people if they feel like you legit understand what you did wrong). From here on out, analyze and modify your behavior. If you catch yourself doing it again, stop yourself short and say "Sorry, I did the thing again" and then change your behavior.
It'll take time, and practice. If you ask people to remind you if you're doing it again, that can be useful, but it also means you have to listen. It'll be a weird and awkward adjustment period as you struggle to change your behavior and thought process. But the more you do it, the more you reinforce it, and it'll get easier.
>>17186093
I have great difficulty with negative feedback. I always feel uncomfortable, I set up a protective shield on me. I get defensive quickly.
I find it very hard to change this mindset. I hope I will be able to deal with this.
