tldr: I went on a first date with a girl, I didn't kiss her.
Did I fuck up?
>Backstory is she is a girl i talked to in HS
>fast forward to today, meet up with her to eat
>date goes well, we walk around for a bit after eating
>She goes for this 1 armed hug cuz she was holding her purse at end of date
>we hug and she says to let her know if I wanted to hang out again
>end
I just didn't feel like it was the right time to kiss her but did I fuck up by not trying? we were just in the parking lot
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>>17183436
chakras have nothing to do with satan, get a better pic.
>>17183428
Nah no kiss is better than a forced kiss. More importantly is if she knew it was a date. If you just asked her to hang out, chances are you were just hanging out, especially if you weren't flirty and mostly talking.
>>17183462
I just said lets go eat, didn't really say if it was hanging out but never said date. Next time I try to meet up with her, I could advertise that its a date. Would that make up for any faults of not kissing her today?
>>17183495
Yeah you fucked up worse than not kissing if you haven't made it clear that you're romantically interested in her. In fact, if you had kissed her she might have ended up confused if she thought you guys were just hanging out.
>>17183617
I did not, I just started talking to her again yesterday. Would now that we hung out its time to pull out the flirting and such? If you have any other advice it would be appreciated
Girls will give you signs if they want you to kiss them. Pay attention. There's good videos on youtube about it. A one armed hug seems like she didn't want a kiss and that's ok. It's also ok if you didn't want to kiss her. Don't kiss someone because you feel like you're supposed to. Do it because you want to.
If she likes you there will be a second date. It's that simple.
>>17183617
>make it clear that you're romantically interested in her.
This is most important. Missing a kiss isn't a big deal.
>>17183647
How old are you two? I'm kind of unorthodox but I like just being straightforward and open rather than trying PUA shit. But you have to really be okay with the fact that she might not like you for the straightforward openness to work otherwise you'll be coming from a place of insecurity.
>>17183673
>>17183682
I feel like you two are right. And ya I'm sure saying I'm romantically interested in her is next
>>17183692
Im 21, shes 20. I wasn't trying any PUA bs or anything, we were just talking and I was direct about wanting to hang out. I got some issues with self esteem but I still feel like being straight forward is the best way as its worked for me in the past
>>17183725
Well I usually ask as soon as I know I'm interested but since you've already hung out you could say something like "hey I had fun today, how about a date Friday." >if she says no
Take it graciously, realize that rejection isn't personal. At least you know where you stand which is a hell of a lot better than agonizing over her. If you want to just be friends go ahead, but let her know that you were attracted to her so it would be a good idea to get over those kind of feelings before hanging out or anything for a while.
>if she says yes
Great! It would probably be a good idea to have a place or activity in mind before you ask her. Make sure you tell her what she should dress for if you plan on keeping it a surprise. You mention self esteem issues. Make sure you don't over do it with self deprecatory jokes, if you use those. Also, instead of asking yourself agonizing questions like: How can I impress her? Ask yourself: How can she impress me? But it seems like you had a good time hanging out so the conversation should be fine. To emphasize your romantic interest, bring up what makes her so attractive to you (personality wise and neck up). Just be honest and don't hold any expectations and you'll be fine.
>>17183819
Would you mind going into detail about self deprecatory jokes? I think I might be guilty of that one. Also that romantic interest part helps alot, thanks
>>17183819
I don't really know how to flirt, or how to be on a date or have a girlfriend. I've had many friends who are women but that's all - flirting makes me a little uncomfortable and avoidant but sometimes I'll do it naturally without noticing.
I asked a girl out, and though I no longer have social anxiety I am woried now because It's likely we will just end up friends, as I do with most women. The last time I had a gf was when I was 14 and I was completely oblivious, we held hands and eachother before we even dated so it a mutual thing.
Basically, I'm just lost on what to do with a girl after I ask her out. It's been so long.
>>17183842
>self deprecatory jokes
They're fine sparingly, but I used to have the same problem. Even if your date has an amazing sense of humor, there comes a point where she'll start thinking that you're obsessed with your shortcomings. It's great to be comfortable with your flaws, which is actually a sign of confidence, but dwelling on them is unattractive. It's the same with any joke really, it gets old if repeated too much. Some people would say it subconsciously puts a negative image of yourself in her mind. On the flip side, I'd avoid bragging or coming off cocky.
>>17183858
Flirting can take a lot of forms. Whatever you're comfortable with will come across best, but don't be afraid to take chances. Just don't go overboard. Playful teasing is good, negging is kind of gross (and you'll only attract girls that respond positively to that, girls that usually end up being manipulative). Talking about what makes her attractive to you is good, being overly sycophantic is spineless and unattractive. On dates, I just try to maintain honesty, even if that means I risk losing her interest. That kind of vulnerability is usually attractive, at least to the women I end up dating. The only negative thing about ending up with friends is if you're still pining after her.
>what to do with a girl after I ask her out
What do you want from this date? Typically you just want to learn more about this person and see if you have chemistry and compatibility. Just try not to turn it into an interview and you'll be fine. If you have chemistry, it will be apparent. You can fake chemistry of course, but that's PUA shit. Compatibility will come through in the conversation, you'll get to know about her worldview/values etc.
>>17184049
Ah, Yeah I don't think I was going over board with them, just said a few
