my girlfriend thinks that sex is just sex, and that its the mans job to do everything.
i think that sex is playtime and there isnt a job to be done, but to have fun.
overall, i get 'the job' done, and i do it well. but i want her to play more, and to be silly and just fool around. how can i get her to play, rather than just have sex? its really starting to kill my arousal. im not bored, i just feel like shes expecting me to fuck her and there is nothing else i can do. for instance, she has no idea how to use her body. i tell her to rotate her hips upward so her vagina is aimed up higher, and she does the exact opposite. she doesnt know that simply touching the penis isnt what is sexy and gets me hard. i just showed her that rubbing her tits on my chest gets me hard, and shes baffled by the fact that i like to suck on her nipples.
i know im not the weird one for wanting to do something so outrageous like suck on nipples, and im not the only one that gets off on having boobs rubbed on me. thats normal, right? im starting to think one of us has autism...or maybe both.
>>17181754
Does she like sex?
>>17181756
she loves my dick. literally cant get enough. i try to tell her that if she does more in bed it will increase her pleasure,,subtly of course.
>>17181771
>i try to tell her that if she does more in bed it will increase her pleasure,,subtly of course.
Subtly? Dude, give it to her straight.
>>17181754
> i tell her to rotate her hips upward so her vagina is aimed up higher,
but that hurts
deep penis doesn't feel comfortable just like something is stuck there
>>17181754
What the fuck? People like your gf actually exist?
Does she have autism? What the fuck?????
If a dude was like this I'd dump him immediately there's no way I could live like that.
>>17181804
the sad thing is, she has more sexual experience than i do. i was deeply disappointed when i figured out that she learned absolutely nothing from her previous sexual engagements. she took no notes on how or what to do. it hurts my soul, but i love her.
>>17181800
that does not hurt, for her at least. she likes a deep, long, hard thrust. and forgive me for trying to make sex easier when she just lays there.
i mean, god bless her shes trying but any time i say to do something she says 'that doesnt sound comfortable' or flat out that she doesnt want to do it. and she really likes to complain about her legs hurting, and her back hurting. i want to get her on her hands and knees, but when we do it during foreplay she arches her back like the arch de triumph, rather than the grand canyon. excuse me.
i want to exercise with her more so she can learn the different muscle groups, and how to use her body, but thats hard to do when we have to adult all the time.
>>17181754
Your girlfriend sounds like a serious person who isn't interested in playing.
I get the same thing too, sex just seems like a huge waste of time and nothing comes out of it. And when something does come out of it, it's usually bad --> uti, std, unintended pregnancy.
Maybe take her on a date first so she's super satisfied with life and then fuck her in the evening when she's too happy to be serious? I prefer to think about money, vacations, schedules, resturants, shopping, other physical things.Those things are more exciting than sex.
>>17181833
>>17181834
My gf is like this too. These are the raised to be passive girls.
OP you bet to help her get over her mentality of being passive is what men like. Be straightforward and tell her what to do when she is aroused.
>>17181834
> any time i say to do something she says 'that doesnt sound comfortable' or flat out that she doesnt want to do it. and she really likes to complain about her legs hurting, and her back hurting. i want to get her on her hands and knees, but when we do it during foreplay she arches her back like the arch de triumph, rather than the grand canyon.
Yeah, she sounds like she really doesn't enjoy sex with you. Has she ever had an orgasm?
>>17181841
You doesn't sound serious, you sound like a prostitute. Making business or of sex. Sex is supposed to be fun, not a way to get money, vacations etc...
>>17181852
i do, but she will still say 'i dont want to do that'. i get frustrated with her becuase im trying to keep my erection, but it kills my boner so fast when she doesnt even try things.
>>17181841
we've had a hell of a week having fun and doing all sorts of things, and even last night we were having sex and she just doesnt want to put in any effort.
>>17181854
multiple orgasms. and by orgasm you mean 'when her vagina is squeezing my dick so tight its practically pushing me out? i give the good dickings. maybe i should stop for a while.
>>17181863
She sounds lazy and convenient. If you give her sex she likes, she give you sex you like and not bitching and moaning. Stop with the dickings, that's a good idea.
>>17181863
its not even so much that i get frustrated that she doesnt want to try things, so much as it is that i know shes not trying to have fun. shes expecting me to have all the fun for her, because as long as she gets the dick shes happy. provided she has to do literally nothing.
fuck. not all females are like this i presume.
>>17181841
Finally someone who doesn't make sex their whole life
"Babe, I love you and I love making you feel good in bed but at the moment, I'm putting in all the effort sexually and it's making me feel like you don't desire or respect me. You need to start being a more active participant in our sex, it doesn't turn me on when you just starfish. If you're not sure how, I wanna work on it with you. I really want us to have great sex together"
FYI she WILL cry because telling a woman she doesn't satisfy is exactly as hurtful as her telling you the same. It fucking stings, but it's a bandaid that needs to be pulled off.
>>17181945
Do you ever give her oral? And if you say something like 'oh she doesn't like oral', then that means you're shit at it or she has never had good oral sex.
Its likely that she has never had good sex and shes not interested in it. I was like her for years until I met my current bf who is amazing and now I love sex.
>>17181985
>>17181863
>>>17181854
>multiple orgasms. and by orgasm you mean 'when her vagina is squeezing my dick so tight its practically pushing me out? i give the good dickings. maybe i should stop for a while.
>>17181978
i said almost exactly this. it really did feel like she was insulting me, somehow or didnt respect me enough to engage with me 100%.
>>17181965
and thats another thing, i never gave a fuck about sex. i tried it a few times, took what i needed to be good at it, and then i was back to bicycles and video games all day. now that i have someone to have sex with that i love, i want to go all out. but i dont think she feels the same because shes been brainwashed by other guys to just lay there and let them do their thing. and thats what she does. shes trying to do more, like; shell sit on my dick upright and then move a little bit, but she really doesnt understand how shes supposed to move. and id hate to tell her, because she'll always tell me to stop moving when shes moving and she wants to think she knows what shes doing.. shes learning, but shes just not good yet lol. its kind of funny in a sense.
>>17181985
she loves when i go down. maybe not as much as she'd like. i havent done it in a long time, and it hurts like hell, so im doing mouth exercises to get a stronger jaw. but simple thing is, she never has had good sex before. im her first non-pump and dump sex partner.
>>17181754
You tell her.
>Communication is the answer - as always.
>/adv/ did strike again.
>>17182108
Yeah, but OP is just going to tell her things that make him feel good, not her. He probably wants anal, probably wants her to put her legs all the way up to her head, which I'm sure feels great to him but is going to be uncomfortable or even painful for her. She's already told him which positions are uncomfortable >>17181834, and OP has already said he doesn't go down on her much. So what is your foreplay, OP? You rub her tits for 30 seconds and then stick it in? No wonder she doesn't feel like bothering with anything else.
>>17182079
> never has had good sex before
get her a vibrator kit asap
make sure it's not just a vibrating dildo
a woman who has never experienced an orgasm is akin to feeling wheelchair bound. She probably doesn't even know what an orgasm feels like to begin with.
I'm SO HAPPY MY BOYFRIEND EATS ME OUT AND MAKES ME CUM, THANK GOD FOR HIM
>>17183167
wait what
>>17183167
Did you even read the thread?
>>17183146
we used to foreplay really hard, but after i realized that shes not playing with me as much as i am her, i just sort of stopped with the intense foreplay because i wasnt getting anything out of it and that is what started killing my boner. i lay on top of her and kiss her for a good while, then ill rub her belly and ill get her naked and then put her on top of me, then we frot for a little bit. then shes wet enough for me to piv. then its slow and steady her on top, me doing all the work of course, then i stop and she takes over doing her thing which consists of an awkward up and down motion that is more like a weak grind, and again i appreciate her trying but she gets so bored of doing things that i quickly go back to doing all the work. ill get her on her back for a bit, and then she'll lay on her belly; she really likes the pronebone. and fortunately so do i, but i still am putting 99 percent of the effort forward.
basically if i wasnt moving my hips, we wouldnt be having sex. as fun as it is for her, that is not a description of a normal sexual encounter. she doesnt go down on me, she doesnt think 'oh maybe i should do this', its more like 'are you going to do this or what'?
