How do I make friends outside of work, /adv/? Does it just take time? Moved to a new city a year ago and all of my friends are through my job.
They're fine people but our relationships typically don't really extend outside of the workplace, and I don't really have a lot in common with them.
>>17176971
Hobbies, shared interests are the key.
Go and start doing something you like at a place other people do that same thing too.
>>17176986
I guess that's got to be it.
I'm going back to college in the fall, maybe that can help.
I guess most of my hobbies are very solitary - I really need to extend a little bit further perhaps.
It always seems that I stumble when I go to try to make friends - like I might be trying just a bit too hard.
>>17176996
>I'm going back to college in the fall, maybe that can help.
Thats practically the best case scenario, hit the gym a bit (or equivalent) in preparation ittl help make things easier once you get there.
>like I might be trying just a bit too hard
Yes dont make yourself available too much, it seems paradoxical but a well rounded person doesnt care if you like them or not be true to yourself and the right people will gravitate to you but you cant find true friends living a lie ya gotta be real.
>>17176996
I think that's the frustrating problem I face. It seems like you have to pretend you don't like people in order to make friends. I definitely get concerned about people's opinions about me, and I think that's my most limiting flaw.
>>17177024
> you have to pretend you don't like people in order to make friends
Could you elaborate on this?
>>17177081
Well it seems that if you're too standoffish, people just don't like you at all.
But if you're too zealous, people don't like you at all.
There's a middle ground that I feel that I have yet to be able to find, at least when it comes to meeting people.
It's weird because with a lot of the friends I already have, I'm comfortable in expressing myself, and I feel like I've already found the middle ground. It really just comes down to the people I meet for the first time. I'm either too shy, or too forward.
>>17177202
Holy shit this is literally me. I definitely lean towards acting standoffish around new people and just hope they talk to me first although I'm making an effort to do the opposite now.
Recently I've been going to pregames with my friend and trying to talk to people there. But I swear, they talk about the most stupid shit. Like one guy suggested opening a bar that allows you to mix drinks to get different colors. Someone chimed in, "That's fucking hilarious dude!!" And then everyone laughs and acts like this was the most hilarious thing anyone's ever said. Literally that's how the conversation went. I dont know, it always seems like it's just stupid shit like that. Talking about how drunk they got or sharing dumb youtube videos on their phones.
Ok, I can play that game too. Except not really. I try to act engaged and keep the conversation flowing but they never seem to do the same. I end up asking all the questions but they seem disinterested. Fucking hell. Every conversation feels like walking a tightrope. How is it so easy for other people
