No back story. I'm grief-stricken and cannot cope.
I moved back in with my mom and I don't want her to find me. I work at an airport and would not want to be a news story if I were to kill myself in the restroom, office, etc, and I don't want to ruin some poor conductors life by jumping in front of a train.
I was thinking a bridge/overpass, but I don't wanna be that person who halts traffic for an hour.
I don't have access to a gun.
I just want to go quietly without people cursing me.
>>17176725
>I just want to go quietly without people cursing me.
I don't believe this is possible. At least one person, whoever finds you, will be terribly upset, eventually. And your mom may not curse you in so many words, but she will grieve for you forever and will be entitled to some anger.
But that said, I recommend a long hike into a wilderness area (live near any national parks?) where you could perhaps hang yourself, starve to death, or perhaps get mauled to death by a bear.
Except that I really recommend getting help and not killing yourself. There is no painless way to do it--even if you don't feel much you are guaranteed to hurt others.
Any problem you have can probably be solved or made better except for the problem of making your life end, which is pretty much irreparable.
Call a hotline.
>>17176725
>>17176725
>I'm grief-stricken
Would you at least share with us the cause of this grief? The broad strokes if nothing else.
quiet. people will not curse although I understand that people are shit but often because they can not understand so quickly. I do not want you to kill yourself Think about it, what would you be doing for them and for those people not worth dying for . Tell us more.
>>17176870
I was actually considering suicide by starvation but that would take a bit longer so perhaps I'll throw in dehydration as well to shorten the process. I live in the city but I don't mind taking the trip up to the mountains to figure things out. I only hope there won't be other people there given this time of year. And we have black bears but they don't usually start shit.
>>17176894
My best friend and lover is dead
>>17176910
Thank you but I just want to get off this ride
Killing yourself doesn't end the pain. It only transfers it to someone else.
You're alive, and you have somebody that was willing to take you in.
Why are you so set on suicide? It seems silly to me. You're really only running away from yourself, and you're doing it while throwing away the most valuable thing you possess.
If non-existence is eternity, then what is life if not but a blink of the eye in comparison? Die when you're killed, not when you've lost the will to live. If you lose will, find it. Simple enough.
I have been there anon. I lived through my darkest hour and now I honor that person by living. Every so often I say her name so that it's still spoken out here. I think I'll probably be the last person to say it too.
Your lover probably wanted you to heal from this. Where ever they are, they may very well be looking down at you, wanting to see how your life story unfolds and how you grow. Honor them by living so that when you meet again you can share stories of the world he or shee left behind. Know that nothing in this world can take away what that love for them in your heart that he or she feels and will last forever.
Do it
I'm a bit weird in this case. Super depressed NEET scumbag who has thought about suicide so often that it's not something I'm planning on, it's something I'm planning around.
It's just an eventuality to me. It's just going to be the way I go out.
My recommendation is jumping into water from a sufficient height. Pretty much anywhere you could reach terminal velocity should do the trick. If you do it late enough, at a distant enough location, it would be a long time before you were found/identified.
I want to be clear that I don't really *want* this to happen, to you or me. But if you absolutely must go out, that's my two cents.
>>17177053
This is exactly correct. Unless literally everyone you know is the worst scumbag ever, you'll be missed. My rationale was always that the people who cared were so much stronger than me, they would be able to handle the pain I couldn't cope with. Again, depends on who you keep company with.
My take on jumping is that it gives you a second to reflect whether or not you made the right decision. Not so long as to be torturous, like poisoning or something, but just long enough that you'll know at the end if you regret taking the plunge.
But, again, I'm fucking weird and pathetic.
>>17176889
fukin dunce
Hang yourself in an isolated forest/woods at night or something
Make a phone call to the authorities before hand stating your intent and the exact location.
That way you're out of the way and a professional has to deal with you. That's how I'd like to go if I ever get to that point one day.
>>17176725
>>17177043
SOMEONE will eventually find you. No matter what you chose. And you will affect that person. No way around that.
>>17177043
>My best friend and lover is dead
I have respect for the choices of people who are clinically depressed with no betterment in sight but please DON'T kill yourself because of this
>>17176725
That letter doesn't make sense, how would you kill yourself under a bed.
>>17177775
By encountering the boogeyman and telling him that my body is available for harvest.
Sometimes he's overstocked, which was why he told me that I'm not ready yet. The boogeyman was the only reason I didn't die that day, also.
Warning you, OP, the boogeyman's a tricky dick.
I'm going to hang myself in the woods, OP. Seems about the best option and most discrete
>>17176725
I might try
>>17176870
But honestly, I've been feeling so dead physically that I don't know if I'll have the energy to do that. My backup is to draw a bath, get really high and just slit my wrists; given that my mom will probably flip her lid when she eventually goes to the bathroom, I might suck it up and go to one of the nearby forests.
At least being in rural Canada gives me endless options for uninhabited forests.
>>17178162
This seems quite tidy; maybe I'll do this:
>>17177404
It's the one I'd suggest the most, OP.
OP, I'm in the same exact situation (my husband died 14 days ago and I'm desperately suffering). I don't want to continue but I'm trying my best because another loss in the family would probably trigger something bad. I'm trying so, so hard to be selfless.
I don't have any advice. Just know that I know that feel, OP.
You need to reach out to the people who love you most and tell them you're considering suicide. What you're feeling right now is understandable but temporary. Don't make a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it seems impossible now but one day you will feel better, and you will love again.
Stay strong OP, don't give up.
Telephone towers around? Just hop off one of those.
>>17178409
Why have i never though of that?
Hang in there. It does get better.
I've dealt with loss now three times in my life. First my mother. Then my father. Then my adoptive mother. All three, cancers. All three disappeared from my life suddenly. I know how you feel. You're hurting, like an immense chasm has been opened in your heart, but at the same time you're completely numb. Nothing matters. You just want it to stop.
But it does get better. You just have to give it time. A long time, yes, it's true. But it remains that time will do it's work. And killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (No, those aren't my words).
Be strong. Honor your friend, who wouldn't want you to take your life.
>>17178181
Take a sti test and a blood test, get an organ donor card fill it out. Have all three on your person.
