She dumped me ... we weren't exclusive so she might have met someone she liked better but it hurts so bad. I wish I was tall, super-handsome, alpha, anything. Anything so she'd say yes. I've never lost anyone or anything so beautiful in my entire life. I'm actually 39 and completely devastated. This is worse than the time I lost my job. I can find another job but....oh god, just look at her. I'm literally trembling and can't walk.
Best way to move on or an hero?
OP here again....it wasn't just her looks. She cooked a healthy dinner for me and we sat on her floor and watched TV and occasionally would lean over for a kiss.....everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. It was so easy.
You're 39...
Get it together.
pick yourself up and keep on truckin'
>>17175993
>>17175993
>>17176001
Get it together man you're 39 for God's sake!
>>17176078
OP here. I realized I'd be far more devastated if I was much younger. I'm not a hormonal mess but emotions actually sink in and etch themselves into me now, since it took much more time and investment to get to this point. I don't just fall for anyone anymore ... she was really special.
more pics
sent this to me with a flirty message just last week so something changed between now and then...
sent me this last week, asking to hang out on yesterday
what do we do when we fall down? We pick our selves back up.
Why are you posting so many pictures of her? One or two is enough.
She looks like a two bit whore that probably has an STD and the fact that you weren't exclusive probably means you should get checked.
>>17175993
>39
>weren't exclusive
Hmmmnnnnnnn
>>17175993
>we weren't exclusive
While you were lollygagging she was likely shopping around. How old is she?
>>17176131
Kek that isnt a mirror pic. Someone took it for her.
OP was getting cucked for a long time
She's 25. I'm pretty sure that's a front camera mirror pic? She was out with the friend that I cut out of the other pic.
>>17175993
>>17176126
>>17176129
>>17176131
>>17176135
She looks like a demon. Would not sell soul.
>>17176305
Yeah, bud. She looks immature. There are 25 year olds who are mature, she doesn't appear to be one of them. You'll feel better in time.
>>17175993
Hang in there OP, don't an hero whatever you do.
You made it through all the ups and downs in life this far, you can make it through this. Things can only go up from here.
Take the time to focus on yourself, going to the gym to help build self confidence and to take your thoughts off of her.
Don't talk to her again, and if you run into her in public just treat her like a generic friend and move on.
Relationships are great and far better than any job OP, but they come and go and we learn and build valuable experience from them, so we are more prepared for better and greater ones.
Don't give up OP, it's normal to take some time to grieve, but don't let it take more than a couple of weeks or let it completely take hold of you.
I know the soul shattering, shaking, trembling, panic-attack like nature of break ups, but you won't die OP, and the pain will subside, even if we can't see the light, it is there.
>>17175993
well.
literally all anyone will basically have to say for you;
Shit happens, op. shit happens...
you gotta realize this one thing: that saying "there's always more fish in the sea"? yeah that's a thing.
if she doesn't want you, then stop wanting her. you're 39, you should have more shit together than I do, but here I am. 21 and giving you advice.
don't worry, Op. there's always a better day to come.
OP here, thanks guize.
She is a bit immature in that she's not quite as smart as she thinks she is, but she is aware of some of her shortcomings in life and is trying to work on them. She's a retail employee who doesn't smoke, has no tattoos, no kids, super healthy, and can actually get by on her frugal small income, so I guess she's a goddess among insects.
I'm highly educated and actually "have it all" but nothing excites me anymore....besides her. I meet and sleep with girls quite a bit but she was the only one I really cared about.
My last 3 crushes end up shitty and I kinda see their problems in retrospect. This girl was just so hard to read I'll never know if I did everything wrong or nothing wrong (like Hitler). If I'm being realistic I know it never would have worked out long-term but I sure as shit would fantasize about it and would have liked it to have worked out longer than it did. We were going to a concert together in August and I thought it'd at least last that long but the last thing she asked me was where to mail back the ticket. Now I'll be sitting next to an empty seat and I'll be sad every time I hear that music.
I'm actually going to sleep with a girl today but I'm not that excited about it. I actually have enough meaningless sex that I don't need to fap, I just call up a side chick. But this girl was the only one I really liked and I never actually slept with her, only topless making out.
Last night I dreamt about her, but I also dreamt about kissing another girl who's arguably hotter. But I only ever had coffee with that second girl and she never texts back. Maybe I'll see if she wants to go to a concert with me.
I'm just fucking terrible at this stuff because I never did it when I was younger.
>>17177369
What kind of personality does she have? For me what you have described, she sounds like a really generic instagram slut who is a bit full of herself. Seriously, go find more original, mature and a bit older woman to your life (needs to be atleast 27) and stop treating her like a fucking goddess jesus christ.
>>17176118
>it took much more time and investment to get to this point. I don't just fall for anyone anymore ... she was really special.
>>17175993
>we weren't exclusive
How do these two statements reconcile?
>>17177369
Sounds like you're in love with her and overlooking her flaws. Don't cut off contact with her but slowly drift away until you realize she's not special.
>>17177369
>I never actually slept with her
Your fault for neglecting your woman.
OP here, still feels bad man. I knew I wasn't in love with her and I knew we really had no long-term outlook, but I wanted to at least attend a concert together in August which I already bought tickets for. The time we spent together was real and when we sat on her floor eating the healthy dinner she made, it was just so sweet and easy as we'd lean over for kisses between bites. I knew it wasn't love but I sure as shit was in like with her.
She had other men in her life and I think I just wanted a lie.
Her personality is that she's pretty selfish with her time, which is fine with me to just hang out once a week. She was full of contradictions and the only way she'd actually express interest in me was with text banter. In person, she'd let me take the lead and wanted to wait for sex. Her kisses were definitely real and have left a scar on my heart. I think we both tended to overanalyze shit which made me just autistic as fuck always trying to "say the right thing" and for her it just made her distrustful. I think she was fine to play the role of the Coquette, and I have to admit it totally worked on me and drove me wild for her. She stood out to me because of all the girls I had met recently, she was the most personally responsible, healthy, and had the most beautiful face by far.
Her interests were super-basic, Starbucks, Taylor Swift, Apple, and I kinda realize that stuff doesn't matter. I liked that she was healthy, focused, responsible, and mostly had her shit together in her own little efficiency apartment world. We were at our best when she was seeking my advice on school and career help, since she never finished college and I have a STEM masters degree. I was second-guessing myself because I thought if I was too nice and helpful I'd end up in the friendzone.
She doesn't know I know this, but when she was 19 her boyfriend died in a natural disaster. Maybe that's why she was so guarded. It sounds like we both have our issues to work out.
OP again typing therapy to strangers.
The "flaw" of her personality with regards to relationships is that she's self-aware of some of her flaws, but overall, she's just not as smart as she thinks she is. Like I'd say something awkward and she'd think I was manipulative when it was really me just being derpy because her eyes and legs make me stupid. So that might have made her suspicious and there was always that tension in our in-person communications because she wanted me to take the lead but would sometimes go with the flow and sometimes act coy or even dismissive.
I fully recognize she might just be throwing me out like a child's toy because she got bored easily, but the whole thing is destroying me because based on her texts, her disposition flipped within about half a week and I'll never know why.
As for meeting a "better" girl, I'm sure it possible, but I think everyone is flawed and fucked up in their own way that shit all hits a local maxima at some point. We're never going to find our Belldandy, so I just want things to be less shitty in the meantime. I'm so busted right now, I just want someone to lie to me and be sweet and tender to me.
OP again, whatever, right?
I did have meaningless sex today and it distracted me for exactly the duration of the sex. Due to my age, I'm not obsessed with sex and I only think "hey this is pretty awesome" exactly while I'm doing it and then go back about my business without thinking about sex too much on the daily.
This new girl, Leah, was the exact opposite of OP girl who I'll call Kate. Curvy, Hispanic, but still with pretty eyes and lips. Most importantly to this, totally dtf, eager to please me, and willing to cuddle afterwards. No coyness or playing, just slamming. For me the sex and feels are actually barely overlapping so Leah didn't fulfill me emotionally at all.
Later that afternoon I drove to an empty parking lot and cried and gasped for breath in my car before heading back to work. Kate fundamentally rejected who I am. I'm pretty self-confident but not arrogant, but this destroyed me.
Before Kate, was another girl, Danielle, who I liked AND who fucked me on the regular, although she was just so-so in bed and Leah was definitely better. Danielle ended up being very vain, phony, and emotionally narcissistic so I eventually broke it off with her. I'm considering doing a horrible rebound thing and texting her again, because she would absolutely give me the sweetness and lies that I need right now to get through my day. I want to wash my pain away in the all-emcompassing caress of someone beautiful, inside and out. I wanted it to be Kate but I blew it in half a week somehow.
I might have mentioned another girl I had coffee with, I'll call her Allie. She's arguably hotter than Kate because she lifts. Allie doesn't text me back because ... I don't think she has to. She could have her pick of anything, but she could make me forget Kate.
I'll probably fuck Leah again next week because it beats fapping. I'm sure it'll be fun but it's just a square peg for the round hole in my soul.
tl;dr: I want sex and feels. I want feels more right now.
OP again trying to make some goddamn sense out of everything.
May 12th: dinner and chill, making out, I give her the concert ticket. I text her thanks for dinner and she says "You are so welcome!!"
May 13th: no texts from her
May 14th: we text about meeting up again, she said she'll text me tomorrow once she knows her schedule
May 15th: texts me at the end of the day saying she hasn't forgotten me, long day, she'll text me tomorrow. This jives because she is out of town all day this day and the next.
May 16th: flirty selfie texts out of nowhere, banter about clothes she's trying on. I tell her to text me when she's back and knows her plans
May 17th: I ping her again about plans and ask her how the concert was. Her texting is a bit less frequent but still enthusiastic in tone and she sends me the last pic with her friend. She asks if I'm free Sunday. I reply yes. No word.
May 18th: I'm a bit nervous now. I try to have faith in her because she's never blown me off yet. I text her with concrete plans, and she said she never received my last text. Twice she says she was worried I disappeared because it's not like me to be bad at texting. We make plans for Sunday.
May 19th: I text her, nothing.
May 20th: I text banter her. Her tone is a bit defensive instead of playful as usual when we mess with each other. She texts me about how she's into cycling lately and I ignore her because I'm trying to be cool.
May 21st: I text her, no reply.
May 22nd: I text to confirm for today. She says yes but she's been sick all week. I give her the benefit of the doubt that's why her responses have been spotty, including a day she didn't text me back and claims she slept for 16 hours. We meet up and she looks amazing. She's playing up the sick card the whole time and acts very distant. Tiny pecks only and "it's too hot to hold hands." I am trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. I was awkward because she makes me stupid and I wanted to see her so bad. (cont...)
So she's saying she really wants to go home because she's sick. She said twice she was still glad she got to see me, and she tells me days off next week where we can meet up and I can come over or we can do something. We part with the most awkward handhold ever. I text her that night saying it was good to see her, nothing. However, I see she's online on the dating site where we first met which she rarely is.
May 23rd: still nothing, I text to see how she's doing that afternoon. That evening, she breaks up with me over text, saying that she doesn't have strong feelings for me and multiple things have changed for her, and she'll send back the concert ticket.
So she didn't really want to see me Sunday, maybe she was giving me one more chance but was still willing to discuss plans for next week. I was so nervous and awkward that I might have blown it, but she's usually good with our banter. To me it seems like the big shift in her attitude was between last Tuesday and Saturday and I don't know if she was sick or not or just met someone new. I'm shocked and baffled by the whole turn of events. Her texting me before all this seemed to indicate that she did really like me at one point. I'm just sitting here the whole time wondering what I did and wishing I was someone she could like while listening to sad songs. Now every time I hear music from that concert I'll be sad that I'm sitting by an empty seat.
>>17179286
Women can adapt better than men so her ex bf's death must not mean shit to her by now. Stop glorifying this bitch.
You were her sugar daddy who bought her things for her time while she was sucking and fucking nonstop when she wasn't with you.
From my experience, attractive poor white women and foreign women fiend off any guy that gives attention, cash, things. They turn into cunts when you confront them.
39, with side girls, a career and still acting like a 15 year old, grow up faggot.
>>17179985
who said anything about a career?
>>17177369
Well you're sleeping around, and she's shopping around. It's all fair.
> posting her photos
maybe things of this nature is why she doesn't want to be with you?
she looks like a slut, really, why an hero over a woman?
you're 39 for fucks sakes, get your shit together
UGH she has the typical "I'm not white trash but i'M white trash" clothing
ugh dude
>>17176135
who the fuck walks around wearing that trash.
>>17181275
I thought white trash meant you acted or dressed black..?
>>17181277
no thats wiggers. white trash is more racist than regular white people. I live in the south around girls like OP's pic
their families usually work some blue collar job or something farm related and grow up in trailer homes etc. the females usually never graduate college of if they do it's Nursing
Not gonna lie they are usually hot girls because genetics
but are dumb as bricks unless it's something related to scamming the government for food stamps and disability they're experts in that shit
>>17175993
Ever seen the movie "500 Days of Summer"? Because that's what this sounds like. Tom Hansen meets Summer Finn. Summer is a generic pretty white girl. She isn't without flaws, but isn't a terrible person. She isn't incredibly interesting or exceptional to the point that you couldn't find examples of her positive traits in other women. But Tom falls hard for this girl because he's really, really anxious to meet the right woman. He projects everything he thinks he wants onto her, because fuck it, no time like the present and no girl like her, right?
Summer doesn't want the same things Tom wants. Summer is young and arrogant so she just goes along with him for a while because she can. This doesn't sound to different from what you've been hit with, right OP?
Summer meets some other guy and marries him. Tom is devastated but picks up and moves on. And that's what will happen with you.
I think that the pain of being dumped and wanting closure is part of why this hurts so much. You know deep down it couldn't work but you mindfucked yourself into believing otherwise, probably because of her good looks ( almostevery guy wants a cute but sweet girl to date or wife up). I call this getting "oneitis" and it happens to almost everyone.
Yeah it sucks to lose a girl you like to another guy but there will be others. Trust in that 100%. You will meet other women and slowly but surely move on from this bitch. Forever.
How can you possibly be 39 and still be this vulnerable and naive?
Get a grip, dude. Just ... get a grip. This would be an appropriate level of freak-out if your fucking wife just left you. But you didn't even get dumped, much less divorced, because she was never your girlfriend. She was just a girl you were infatuated with and so you feel like you were entitled to more than you were. She went on a few dates with you, texted you for a few weeks, and decided she didn't want to take things to the next level of commitment. That's fine. No harm done to anybody.
>>17179369
>Kate fundamentally rejected who I am.
What are you, out of your fucking mind? Is this how you react when anybody rejects you? Ever consider that maybe she just decided that you two weren't seriously compatible, and she's looking for an actual boyfriend with whom she's compatible? How are you 39 and you haven't learned to deal with rejection? There's a thousand potential reasons for it that have literally nothing to do with you.
Also, stop posting her fucking pictures, asshole. I don't know if you're too childish to see what's wrong with that or too much of an ass to care, but you really should know better.
OP here, you guys are mostly right. I posted her pics for therapy and because she has almost zero online presence so there's no way it could be linked to her. In truth she doesn't really know what she wants and she's impenetrably hard to read. I think she's a bit selfish and capricious but I'll never really know if she was playing or what. I slept around after her because I felt like that "Stay High" song and did emotionally self-destructive shit because she makes me stupid.
>>17181457
Post is bait everyone.
>>17175993
meh, bitch ain't got no titties
>>17181296
Yep. That sounds about right.
>>17181296
thanks for clearing that up
is she driving a Honda?
>>17175993
>is she driving a Honda?
Lol is that what trash girls drive? Or you mean in the pic?
