Mental poisoning
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
Hi /adv/ I need somebody to talk to.
I was really looking forward to an upcoming long weekend. I wanted to use the time to have fun and relax. Everything was perfect.
Today something happened. It's nothing significant. But it is something that I will think about for at least a few weeks. Now I won't be able to enjoy the long weekend and this really, really upsets me because I was so excited for it. The crazy thing is that I can still do all the things I planned. But I won't be able to enjoy them because of my shitty mind. This isn't the first time this happened either.
The person who did the thing keeps doing similar things but I cannot properly explain to him why they upset me so much. I cannot articulate it. I just know that they upset me. It's actually more my own fault than that person's because I keep asking that person for help and when the person tries to help me, more often than not, things get out of hand. The person wants to help me so much that I feel like that person is too intrusive. But how can I complain when it was me who asked for help in the first place. That person is like an avalanche. One tiny remark can cause the person to go above and beyond of what was asked of that person. And that upsets me for some reason. It makes me really mad actually. I try to bear it and at some time I snap and am rude to that person. Hurting that person's feelings, however, makes me even more upset than the thing the person did.
In order to feel well again, enough time needs to pass so that I and the person can forget about it. That will at least take a couple of weeks though. So my long weekend is ruined. I really needed that long weekend. I hate my job so much.
>>17174917
geez you sound whiny.
what exactly did this person do that upset you? maybe we can help you articulate.
in the future consider not asking, or if you do ask consider opening with limitations.
>anon i could use some help with XX, but listen, it really just needs to be the YY portion. nothing else! can you help me with just that one part?
keep reminding them as you go forward.
>>17174917
Okay well you obviously have to tell us what the fuck it is
>>17174924
It's really stupid. You probably won't understand why it upsets me either. I wanted to buy a few new pictures for my flat because I got really bored of my old ones. I asked the person whether she thought one of the bigger pictures would fit or if it was too big.
Then things started getting out of hand. I am easily impressionable. I often make so many mistakes that I automatically value somebody else's opinion higher than my own. Anyway, we ended up discussing all kinds of things that could be done in the apartment: new lamps, fresh paint on the walls, and new curtaints. Don't get me wrong, I liked and still like all the suggestions the person made. The person also didn't force me to take the advice. The person just nudged me in certain directions.
Anyway, I the person wanted to do me a favor and the wall in my abscence. It really made me mad. I can't tell you why. Perhaps it's because I always depend so much on others that it hurts me when somebody does things for me unless I explicitly tell them to do it. Or it could be that I am too arrogant to accept somebody else's help unless I explicitly demanded it. Or perhaps it's because I can't bear the thought that somebody I like has work to do just because of me. Or perhaps I don't want to feel indebted to others.
Whatever the reason, it really bugs me and now I once again made a big deal out of it and told that person off.
>>17174963
yeah you sound whiny geez.
if you got upset that they did something while you werent there just say 'i actually like it, but please dont do that sort of thing again. i have to live here so i want to make sure it lookse xactly the way i want.
>>17174974
Yes that's what I should've said. It's just that this keeps happening and at some point I snap. Since I like that person, I don't want to distance myself from that person either. However, whenever keeping company with that person will almost inevitably lead to this kind of situation sooner or later because of our characters (especially mine I guess). Ideally, I want to be so good at everything that the person is proud of me and wouldn't even think of helping me with everything because the person knows how capable I am. Sadly, I'm both inapt and lazy.
>yeah you sound whiny geez.
Yeah. I often feel like I've never properly grown up and still have am a child emotionally.
