I've lost eight years of my life (the ones from 14 to 22 to be exact) to mental illness, and while I'm sort of in recovery now, I'm still mad about all the time I've wasted.
How do you avoid becoming bitter over missing out on the supposedly best years of your life? What HAVE I missed, anyhow?
>>17172587
Who the fuck told you that 14-22 was the best era of your life? Are you fucking nuts? There is NOTHING of value to be earned in that period. You can't even form a rational thought until 20 at the earliest.
22-25 is when your life STARTS. When you've developed your personality and your potential. When you've set goals and formed meaningful relationships.
You've missed nothing. Absolutely nothing.
>>17172587
Knowing you can improve your life now. There are people who don't get to that point. Some, like myself, are still in the rut and others flat out off themselves. You didn't do either. Be proud.
>>17172587
no idea since I'm in the same boat as you, my biggest regrets are that I can't join the military because of the diagnosis and I also will have a very hard time joining any federal intelligence communities due to the gap in my life.
>>17172587
>How do you avoid becoming bitter over missing out on the supposedly best years of your life? What HAVE I missed, anyhow?
Ages 1-12 are essentially the title screen and opening cinematic to the game of life. 13 to 20 is the tutorial.
You missed out on learning to hit R to reload and G to throw a grenade.
>>17172587
Regrets are pointless. There is only the now that counts and what you make of your current situation with the things you've got. And also I don't think that overcoming your illness was a waste of time, it has probably strengthened your character on a deeper level
>>17172594
>When you've developed your personality and your potential. When you've set goals and formed meaningful relationships.
These are the exact things I have not done. I have not prepared.
>>17172600
It's not much of an achievement. I'm mostly alive because I throw up very easily.
>>17172601
I have a minor criminal record and no wish to be employed in anything government-related, so I do not really share your pain, but I'm sorry for it.
>>17172610
How do I learn what I need?
>>17172629
It has alienated me from everyone else. I will never have peers or kin again, if I ever had. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to play human and failing.
Most guys feel the same way.
>>17172587
being bitter is counterproductive
protip: 14-22 is not the best years of your life
>>17172587
their the best years of some people's lifes, but not everyone's
I know lots of people who started to live at 30 when they to a job they liked, or 40 when they moved towns
The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best is now.
Acknowledge what happened and make it a part of yourself. Start small, aim a little bigger everyday. Some of us never even plant a seed so you will already be ahead by even trying!
>>17172587
I lost several years of that stage to being diagnosed and struggling with a mental disorder too.
High school sucked for me. I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 14. I had two large episodes during high school and it was so cringey and embarrassing and nothing washes away the stains on my ego from it.
I had a breakdown at school and was arrested because school police thought I was on drugs. Made a total fucking fool of myself.
When I was 17, I had another manic episode and went up to another student that I delusionally thought didn't like me and I beat them up. And I got expelled.
The continuation school was terrible. Everyone thought I was a psycho. So many people made fun of me. I attempted suicide and reached out to an old friend. That old friend told a bunch of people I attempted to off myself. Then when I confronted her, she said I deserved it.
I'm 24 now, I haven't had an episode since I was 19. And I cringe at the thought of my high school self. I still run into people I went to high school with and it makes me want to cry for some reason. Just because I am so not what I was then. And there is no taking it back.
That being said, I have still made friends and have made life go on. I fucked up on some really crucial "growing" years, but it definitely is not "the end"
>>17172587
I feel you anon, ages 11ish to 22ish felt like a massive blur of depression and anxiety to me. There's entire years I barely remember from my teens due to how little I did.
Even now at 25 I still feel like a useless mess who has missed out on so much.
I guess the one thing that makes me feel better is that, at the end of the day, even the best memories are still just memories. Stories of the past. This is the present and our whole vast lives are still before us.
Read Schopenhauer, dude. The Wisdom of life.
>>17173899
That cranky old misanthrope?
>>17173902
Yes. He's got an essay with wisdoms, where he actually put his misanthropic nature into positive light. A lot of neutral and well-written thoughts about honor and glory, how to distinguish them, friendship, happiness, growing older, seeking solitude, etc.
"World as a Will and Representation" is good too, but harder to read.
You missed out on the anxious feeling of not getting girls due to your own ineptitude rather than to a mental illness. You have an excuse now but the fact is you remain the same. Go finish high school and get a job.
>>17172629
Listen to this guy anon. I struggled with Speech Impediment since I was 3 and it's still here because I'm a lazy fuck to work on it but if you're living in the past, you're not living in the present and can't move forward into the future. What's done is been done and all we can do is try to make the best of whatever we're still capable of. Regretting of not asking that girl out who had a huge crush on you because you were to cringy, you learned from that experience and you'll make sure that won't happen again anon. Like he said, you're learning about yourself on a deeper level.
>>17172587
Such is the price for your current sanity, and nothing is to be had for nothing. Be grateful you have a form of recovery, instead of being your old self for life, like so many others.
True happiness comes not from how you are in relation to others, but how you are today in relation to your old self.
I'm with you, Lilith
>>17172587
You got an excuse dude when it's come to missing out on earlier growth, so continue with life.
I mean it <3
>>17172587
the best years of your life are whichever you make the best years yourself.
>>17172587
Ayyy brother!
I understand how you feel. I can be smart as well when I apply myself, but over the years I've lost interest in everything to the point where I do the bare minimum to get by (on top of mood swings, anxiety, apathy, etc.). I feel like I could have done so much more if I didn't have this problem (hopefully getting diagnosed at my next session).
I just think that there's nothing O can do to change that so i should be an even better person now. My problem was that I was essentially a robot workaholic so now I'm prioritizing relationships and hobbies of mine.
It gets better OP. There's still so much more in life.
Those years are just gone now. Time will keep on passing though, so don't waste what's still to come. Best years of my life, mentally, have been since I turned 40. Everything, again mentally, is much easier and more peaceful now. I'm actually glad in a way to have my youth behind me. So, my advice is to look forward, not back.
>>17172594
THIS. SO MUCH THIS.
Only pedophiles will tell you that are "the best years".
You get what I'm saying....
