Hi adv/
Messed up big time and I want to know if anyone has had any similar experiences. Me and my gf have been in a relationship of 5 years, it was great for the most part but over the last few months it has been lacking in the intimacy department. I found myself online trying to get some sort of gratification. Her friends caught me and now all of her family despises me. Have never actually physically cheated but in this day and age it is understandable that this has been viewed just as badly. I have received threats from her father and her mother has in the last 30 minutes also sent me a message asking me to leave her alone. I feel so ashamed and angry that I allowed myself to stoop to this. She wants to make it work but her family will never approve. Any thoughts?
You fucked up, accept it. What'd you do, send and receive nudes from some girl on Tinder or something?
>>17171165
Nah not tinder, essentially yea that's what it was. I have accepted my fuck up but want to be a better person from it, just don't know if I'll ever get the chance with her parents in the way
>>17171170
Honestly? She might give you another chance, but her friends and family won't. In their eyes, you'll never be good enough for her, and whenever you fuck up again, this'll be something they bring up. If the two of you can deal with this, then you may have a future, but chances are you've ruined a long term future together. And if I'm being honest, if I were in her shoes, how you dealt with what you saw as a problem in the relationship makes you not worthy of being with long term.
>>17171185
Yea absolutely and I feel like a piece of shit for it. It's the first real problem we have ever had and it just so happens to be a rather large one. She is not innocent herself, she has had hiccups but this totally dwarfs that and I'm not getting into any sort of justification for what I have done. Funny this is over the years that even her friends have approached my and asked why I put up with the grief that she would give me from time to time. Now I have become the devil to them all. How to ruin your own life in 3 easy steps. I can see us being together and making it work but the family aspect is gonna be the killer
Yeah you fucked up but you admit that. Own it and that's about all you can do.
>Have never actually physically cheated but in this day and age it is understandable that this has been viewed just as badly
It is not understandable at all. You didn't cheat or potentially expose her to STIs. It may have happened, or you may have got cold feet and backed out. Only you can say.
>I have received threats from her father
Not acceptable. You were seeking online gratification which is wrong in the context of your relationship, but threats (I assume of violence) is way over the top.
>She wants to make it work but her family will never approve. Any thoughts?
It's her decision but family has huge influence. It's up to her at this point. Be open with her and yourself.
>>17171443
Yea her father is the rough and ready type. He likes to think he knows what is best for her (being his daughter, protection is obviously the go to response). Yea he has been quite verbally aggressive, threatening to come to my house if I don't leave her be. We have been discussing it all but he thinks I am essentially stalking her at this point. Hopefully time will heal, that's all I can hope for at this point. I would never have actually cheated, never wanted to become a person like that. I dealt with the problem in a rather shitty way. Hindsight is a wonderful thing as they say.
