No one pursues a long distance relationship.

Let's say you're out traveling, you've picked a certain destination because it appeals to you. While on your journey you meet another traveler, chances are that this person is very similar to you because you're both probably out seeking the same thing. You have a great time together but eventually you have to go separate ways and that's when you realize that you're in love, you start missing the shit out of this person and in a desperate attempt to feel better and to fool yourself you both enter a long distance relationship.

They can work, but it's hard. Most posters on /adv/ confuse an internet crush with an actual LDR though.

>>17170001
I met a really cool girl from Australia while on an exchange, I normally wouldn't even jump on the LDR train but I've never connected on that with such a personal level. Was very sad to see here go, but I'm going to visit her and some firends over xmas so we will see what sup.

Sometimes one or both of the parties involved in the LDR may have various reasons as to why they aren't pursuing physical intimacy and contact.

LDRs have a high failure rate because a lot of immature people partake in them. For example

>15 year olds who have no money or means to meet
>People with no self-esteem who pretend to be anime girls/ponies/furries on Steam and Deviantart with their 'partners'
>People who catfish or otherwise lie about themselves
>People who are just fucking stupid and don't make plans to meet

You need to distinguish between an LDR and an online relationship. An LDR assumes that at some point in time, ideally a point you've already arranged, you will close the distance and spend physical time together, at least temporarily. An online relationship is strictly digital and has no future prospects because neither party is able or willing to commit the time or money necessary to meet.

tl;dr 2 mature adults with money and basic organisational skills can make an LDR work just fine. It's just that most people aren't.

I got out of an LDR 5 months ago after being in one for 2 and a half years. I loved every minute of it but eventually you just drift apart because no matter what you do eventually the only way to elevate the relationship is to be together, which we couldn't or weren't ready for one of us to make the move. One of us made the trip out to the other every couple months (US to AUS) and we spent a good few weeks together; those were my favorite part and really made the rest of the relationship boring in comparison, which probably added to the effect of needing to get closer. I guess you could say it was a mix of an Online Relationship for the remainder of the time like >>17170362 explains. We spent the days working/going to school and the night time skype calling while doing other things/playing a game together.

I loved having someone who I could share myself with but it killed my social relationships, I can probably count on two hands how many friends I have left to go grab a drink with now that its over; I chose her and I didn't like going out anyways, so I guess I used it as an excuse to not do so most nights.

To make it work, you really just need to survive for as long as you can until you're financially stable enough for one of yall to make the move and start becoming a real couple, otherwise the relationship just gets tense and you end up breaking it for other reasons. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but it wouldn't have been worth it if it wasnt.

>>17170398

Pretty much this. I was in a longterm LDR for 2 years and even though we spent as much time as possible together both online and in real life the drift was inevitable. Towards the end she was hammering me with questions about how I planned for us to live together and solve the visa situation. I told her I was happy just meeting like we'd been doing for now and I wanted to finish my degree first. She cheated on me and left me shortly after.

Happened to my friend recently as well. Girlfriend grew impatient with him and he foolishly made the promise to marry her that year so they could get the visa. Naturally he couldn't go through with it and left her.

I'd say it can only work if you're so 100% sure about the other person you're willing to do something crazy like get a job in their country or marry for a visa.

>>17170001
Well, LDRs born out of normal relationships can work if they don't go on for too long.

>>17170434

Those have a higher failure rate to be honest. It's really fucking hard to say goodbye to someone you're used to spending physical time together with compared to someone who you met online in the first place.

>>17170001
>Why do people pursue LDRs?
Because love makes you do stupid shit sometimes.

>Don't almost all LDRs fail?
Yep. And they're brutal while they last. Seriously: not good times.

Look. I took a successful LDR with my high-school sweetheart all the way through to a happy marriage. My parents did the same, though they started out with a blind date rather than as high-school sweethearts. I've seen all kinds of LDRs work out in some of the craziest situations: polyamorous groupings of a scale and complexity that yould make a shoujo manga jealous, online-only relationships where the proposal came at the first time they actually met... I've even seen an arranged marriage work out (they're adorable). If you want advice on how to make these things work, come to the dark lord, and if he cannot talk you out of it, then he will give you the best shot you can get.

But I am a ridiculous outlier, and I know this. Even the best shot is a long one. This is why I try to talk people out of them first: it's an awful lot of heartache to go through for nothing. If you're not going to be hardcore about it, then it is best not to try.