/adv/ i need help with my all consuming insecurity and chronic feelings of worthlessness. on paper im physically and emotionally desireable, (female) but everywhere i go i feel this intense worthlessness that forces myself to remove myself from whatever situation i'm in. i don't think i'm depressed because i'm not that sad or numb, but it's gotten to the point where my self esteem is so bad that i spend hours berating myself over nothing and wallowing in self pity and setting extremely high expectations for myself, thus setting myself up for failure and feeling even worse. i push myself to be superior and i'm super condescending and pretentious so i can feel like im better but im not. what the hell is wrong with me?
op i don't know how to help you but it might help to know you aren't alone. i'm also, on paper, a pretty desirable person. but i hate myself so fucking much and i don't know how to get out of it. i've just been trying to do small things that make me feel/look better. going to the gym, painting my nails, shit like that. it helps. i dunno
Hi OP, I feel similarly dejected, however, I am male, which makes me think our problems may be quite different in nature. Your feelings resonate with me but I need more information about yourself.
>>17169060
It sounds like being human. Life is shitty without confidence or selfworth but we really only feel good about ourselves when there is someone we respect who tells us we are special and important. My parents always said these things but it was not really until i got a girlfriend that really made me feel loved and needed that i felt like i was somthing.
>>17169076
Oh. I don't know what there is to say- I'm in a decent situation, I'm okay being isolated with no friends. I just feel very insecure and in the past I've tried to get validation from male attention (this doesn't work) and just ended up getting worse.
>>17169088
Have you ever had a serious partner? How old are you?
What does it mean to 'look good on paper'?
>>17169120
Yes, I have-- it didn't really work because I got really insecure and scared of dissapointing the other person-my fault- also lack of effort to maintain the relationship on their part so it ended. I'm 18, I've been told I'm attractive, I appear really smart to a lot of people when I'm actually just really pretentious. I've consumed ungodly amounts of media ( film and books) in an effort to feel better so I can hold conversations and I'm nice to people when I do interact with them which is rare.
>>17169145
I should mention I'm eating disordered and I have issues with obsessing over every embarassment.
>>17169088
You sure you are okay isolated? If i did not have my two best friends i would literally have nothing to live for.
>>17169157
I mean, I'm really lonely, but I'm not sure how to find friends I enjoy the presence of, I'm uncomfortable around virtually everyone
>>17169168
You are young op. You are understanding that life can suck and you're doing it without a buddy so it's going to double suck. Try to find somone that can make you laugh, i think thats happiness.
