Bathroom anxiety
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I'm terrified of public bathrooms, especially now with all this hateful debate going on about trans people. Which is not ideal because I have to pee a lot. Feel like spironolactone being a diuretic is a cruel irony.
Am I just crazy? I've had really weird encounters in both men's and women's bathrooms and after each one I tend to actively hate myself for a long while. Sometimes I wish I could stay home all of the time and never have to face anyone or deal with their stupid fucking bathrooms.
>>17168215
Yes you're crazy. Move to Canada.
what's your question exactly, "am I crazy?"
Do I need to say it?
>>17168227
My question is how can I get over this anxiety and how am I supposed to deal with people who decide to confront me in bathrooms?
Figure out which binary gender you can present best as and use that one. Or just always stay near a Target.
Then move to Canada - or at least a liberal state - asap.
>>17168232
in what way have you been confronted in bathrooms?
people giving you weird looks or acting uncomfortable around you is not confrontation, has it actually gone beyond this?
>>17168243
Back when I was still trying to use men's rooms I had guys one two separate occasions tell me that I was in the wrong bathroom. And when I was walking into one once some giggling girl said to her friend, "omg she just went in the men's room!"
With women it's been worse. Nasty looks, and one really mean girl in one of my classes telling me to "get out" because I "didn't belong there."
After that happened I haven't even been in a public bathroom and I dropped the class so I'd never have to see her again. This is honestly really affecting my life.
>>17168252
>and one really mean girl in one of my classes telling me to "get out" because I "didn't belong there."
you're in school? Why didn't you bring this up with the school administration. That anecdote alone may have been enough to get her expelled.
>>17168260
I don't want to get anyone expelled, and I definitely don't want to talk to administration about how hard it is to pee. My social anxiety is kind of extreme and everything about this situation is embarrassing. I don't think I can talk to administration about it, and I don't know what they could even do. Maybe expel individual people, but that's not really a solution. What I need to do is get over my anxiety and find a way to maybe not care so much when people approach me in bathrooms.
Well, are you a man or a woman? And don't give me any of that "identity" crap, were you born with a Y chromosome or not? Or do you have klinefelter's or another genetic disorder?
I've been watching this debate on national tv and all i can think is how fucking insane and disgusting these people are-I mean, who the fuck uses public restrooms?
If you're a guy, try to look more like one and use that bathroom
If you're a girl, try to look more like one and use that bathroom.
It's that simple
>>17168275
you're a coward, you just want to hide in your closet and hope other people make things easy for you instead of doing the hard work of making them better so those who come after you don't have to put up with the same shit you did.
Fuck you.
0.3 of the united states population truly deserves to have all the comfort when pissing while the 51% of women pretend it's okay so that they don't seem something-ist in 2016
>>17168308
This. I have a disability and two mental disorders and I have worked my ass off reaching out when necessary regrading work and university. Grow up.
Somebody call fairie
Bathrooms are really more for biological sex as opposed to gender. So use the one for your biological sex
>>17168331
>implementing logic in 2016
Don't you know it's 2016?
>>17168308
I'm no social justice warrior. Just want to live my life and pee like any other normal person.
Why does no one here have any genuine advice? It's all criticism.
>>17168331
Yeah but she/he probably doesn't "fit in" in either.. Even if they use the bathroom for their biological sex they still won't look quite the part which freaks people out
>>17168347
We gave you advice. You're too much of a pussy to contact your school administration. Learn to advocate for yourself like a grown up. It's not just a trans thing, every mature adult has to step out of their comfort zone and assert themselves. People ar not going to magically not be biggots, or magically sense your anxiety and address it.
I wouldn't use the school bathroom if you can avoid it, try going off campus.
Or even have a serious talk with one of the school counsellor/principle about how this is giving you anxiety, and ask if you could secretly use a staff bathroom just for emergencies.
Also, whatever gender you feel like you are, try to dress/act that way convincingly enough that people won't look at you funny if you go to a public restroom, like a restaurant or store, at least until you are out of school and can do some hormone therapy replacement or something.
>>17168347
hoenst advice. do you have a dick? if so, use the fucking men's bathroom. if you have a vag or a horrid simulacrum of one complete with hormone-induced tits and other cosmetic alterations just use the lady's room. i mean at least in that one no one will beat you up.
>>17168347
I gave you genuine advice, if people are harassing you for peeing then you need to stand up for yourself. You're not normal, it would be nice if people were willing to meet you half way (assuming you're meeting them half way by trying to pass) but unfortunately not everyone is so you have to deal with that instead of taking the path of absolute least resistance then having a panic attack and come crying to us.
You came to /adv/ because presumably you wanted to fix this problem, not just vent about it like you would have on /r9k/ or /lgbt/. Now do you or don't you?
>>17168364
>wanting people to use the bathroom that corresponds to their biological sex is bigotry
Tumblr is that way kiddo
>>17168372
>trans
>venting about being trans on /r9k/
I'm sure that would go smoothly
>>17168374
why do you care where they pee?
>>17168375
it would be extremely amusing
>>17168372
this. people here are dicks, but at least you know that one supportive post among 100 awful ones is genuine as opposed to tumblr/reddit fakely sympathetic crap which is completely meaningless
>>17168364
Honestly what OP describes isn't that bad. It's hardly bigotry, he/she doesn't look like either gender so he/she makes others uncomfortable, that's it. OP should try to look more like his or her biological sex
>>17168374
As already stated, they will still get made fun of if they use that bathroom since they're dressed like the opposite gender and perhaps even taking hormones which give them physical characteristics of the opposite gender. If you think trans people are fucked up broken pieces of shit then that's fine, but Jesus they still gotta piss and shit somewhere
>>17168365
There are some "family" bathrooms anyone can use scattered around campus, but none of them are in the buildings I usually have class in. And with these horrible 3 hour classes and my diuretic I feel like I'm going to cause serious damage to my bladder.
Guess trying to pass better is something I could do maybe. Somehow.
>>17168372
I do want to fix it but I don't know how. It's not like I can just decide to not have anxiety and turn off my panic attacks.
Can you see it? I can. First there was the gay. Then the gay parade. And now, we're gonna have the tranny parades as well. As a bonus to naked men with peacock feathers up their rectum dancing on the street, soon you'll have giant man/women parading shallow plastic vaginas in the middle of Manhattan.
God I love the 21st century
>>17168388
Dude fucking talking to your school it's not rocket science
>>17168377
I don't really, they're going to use whichever bathroom they look the most like anyway. But it feels like the bathroom of choice could be deceptive or protect deception. Like the only fear I have with transgender individuals is that they'd deceive someone into thinking they're biologically that gender, particularly a love/sex interest - which would be rape if they weren't aware of the other person's biological sex at birth.
>>17168388
In that case, talk to your teachers in private. Be honest and open so they can see how distressing this is to you, and ask if you can have a reprieve from class at least once. If it's something important that you need to learn, the teacher should let you know and ask if you can wait a few more minutes to use the restroom.
If the teachers can't work with you on this (which is a serious issue and needs to be addressed), get a different teacher, or put in a class transfer request. There is no reason to put your health at risk over a class that can be made up, or learned at a different time.
If it's a college, they will be even more willing to work with you because colleges are more focused on helping you graduate if their students are motivated enough.
>>17168388
>I do want to fix it but I don't know how.
you were given multiple ways to fix it in this very thread, do I really need to repeat myself
-pass better (we could give meaningful advice in this regard if you posted pics)
-stand up for yourself when people confront you, like that incident with the girl who told you to get out all you had to do was say go fuck yourself and piss, then report her to administration
-if you know you can't hold it for 3 hours stop taking 3 hour classes
>>17168398
>"the gay"
>in 1776 satan created the first gay, sending the fallen demon to earth
>the gay
>>17168398
>>>/pol/
don't come back
>>17168400
Ok like that's fair and all but I don't think that's gonna happen in the time it takes to make poopoo at school
>>17168400
if you take a trap home its just common courtesy to have sex with them when you find out they have a dick, doing otherwise would be rude
>>17168404
my use of "the" was for dramatic purposes. i'm not religious and honestly i don't give a shit about gay or trans people in the sense that i don't hate them or much care about them either way.
what i do hate is this miasmic fog of priviledge every mathematical combination of a "minority" and their mothers now has.
oh you like to fuck men up the ass? good for you, why don't you go do that instead of clogging up traffic on one of the busiest streets in the western world with your shitty dance routine you fucks. are you aware that people who have better things to do with their lives than dance in their underwear on the island are trying to get to their jobs? oh your pussy is fake? I DON'T CARE. THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU INTERESTING OR SPECIAL. GO DIE IN A FIRE
>>17168401
I'm not great at talking to people at all. Approaching an instructor to talk about this would probably go all wrong. I wouldn't explain it right and it would be embarrassing and I'm scared to do it. What if I have a panic attack trying to do it?
Maybe my overarching problem is just social anxiety in general.
>>17168413
Agree with this. Please have lots of sex with traps and transgendered people. We need the love lol
>>17168425
If it wasn't borderline ban worthy I totally would have replied with the navy seal pasta
>>17168428
Do what I did (different situation but with school and social anxiety) and send a detailed and email. They may still want to meet with you in person but at least you were able to articulately convey what you wanted to and think about what to say/prepare yourself
>>17168425
that's nice
your politics have no relevance to this thread or OP's question so would you kindly fuck off
>>17168428
This anon:
>>17168438
Probably has the right idea. You could even let them know in the email that you would prefer to talk through email and not face to face because of how embarrassing it is. (Trust me, it's taken me close to 6 years to get over my anxiety as well. Baby steps OP, baby steps)
You do have to do SOMETHING though, otherwise you are going to make yourself sick with stress.
>>17168443
oh they do they have relevance to every thread from "muh bathrooms" TO "YALE HEALING SPACES"(Jesus H. Christ) to black lives matter, to the association of people with sexual feelings for turtles(i'm just assuming that's a real thing since that's the point we've reached now).
everyone's a unique snowflake these days and when you live in a country of lunatics with 300 million people of hundreds of nationalities, ethnicities, sexual orientations, phillias, phobias, and so on, the airway of conversation gets clogged.
the solution to this is everyone shutting the fuck up and living their lives in private, the way lives are meant to be lived, wouldn't that be nice?
That's what you get for being a trans or whatever you are. Real life ain't a hugbox, no matter how much of tumblr's propaganda will leak out or how many celebs will support transsexualism, normal, down-to-earth rednecky people - and these are the majority - will see you as a creepy freak, a guy who wears a dress. I'm not surprised you are not accepted, as a woman I wouldn't be pleased to see a man in a dress in girls' bathroom. Because I believe that man in a dress (and wig, and make up and with fake boobs) is still a man, yes, but also because I would fear for mine and my daughter's safety. Like some anon said: either stick to being a normal guy and don't wear dresses in public, so to say, or make yourself passable enough so the girls you encounter in women's bathroom won't get defensive or upset that some weirdo is prowling about. And don't expect people to smoothly bend over to you sexswaps irl but do stand for yourself when things escalate/get violent.
I hope you'll put yourself together and stop play-pretending to be a girl for yours bladder sake, tho
Why not use the disabled toilet?
>>17168538
Wow, okay. I think I'm done here.
Thanks to everyone who offered real advice.
>>17168538
I hope you have a couple kids and one turns out gay, and the other a beautiful little girl born with a dick.
I would laugh so fucking hard at the irony.
>>17168604
if she's born with a dick she's not gonna be beautiful mate. she's gonna be a psychotic freak unable to come to terms with her mental illness and will eventually blow her brains out. what a horrible thing to wish on a person.
>hi guys i'm napoleon!
>off to the looney bin with you!
>hi guys i have a dick but i'm a woman!
>why, to even suggest you might have a mental disorder is clearly ignorant and false beacuse...beacuse it's not nice to do so!
>>17168608
you're an awful person lol
>>17168662
i just don't get why it's automatically dismissed that "transgenders" might have a mnetal disorder. people always go back to "oh that's what they said about gays" argument but there's a major difference between a sexual abnormality which is physical/genetic and a mental gender fuckup. i'm not saying this makes trannies bad people, i'm just saying, hey, maybe thinking you're a man when you're a woman or vice versa ISN'T ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOU
but you're not allowed to even bring this up becuase >>17168662
that happens
>>17168687
Ask a doctor if you really want to know, but the majority of actual cases (where the person isn't just doing it for some twisted attention), it is usually a hormone problem, or a messup in the womb where in all aspects they are a girl/guy and just born with the wrong parts.
Not saying mentally ill people might not try to pass themselves as the wrong gender (have an old acquaintance from highschool that is literally batshit insane and changed to being a 'women' even though all he did was grow his hair and wear dresses, but he also had a VERY fucked family and never sought therapy for his problems), but usually it is NOT a mental illness. It's the reason there is hormone replacement therapy now, and why some people can pass a girl/guy and you would never have guessed they may not have been born with the proper gear.
>Hide yo kids hide yo wife
This should be on the queer party friends board if you didn't want to face the inevitable. What did you think would happen ITT?
>>17168223
This. We don't need this degeneracy in our country
>>17168687
It's ok to criticize the transitioning solution to transgender, and I understand that it makes you mad that therapy is almost universally dismissed as a treatment for transgender, but you should probably chill.
>>17168727
>a messup in the womb where in all aspects they are a girl/guy and just born with the wrong parts.
That is super rare. It's generally a hormone problem.
Gays go back hundreds/thousands of years ago, but why don't you hear about people wishing they were born a woman instead of a man back then?
>>17168760
It is pretty rare, but it does happen.
We just don't like trans people. You're different and weird and gross. And complicated too.
Also issues like these is why unisex bathrooms are becoming a thing. Perhaps opie should push to get unisex bathrooms installed in her school. School should be supportive. Even if it's hard talking to anyone. Because as I said no one likes trannies. But as a respectable place they pretty much have to respect you, externally, or face legal repercussions
