My relationship of 5 months ended yesterday.
I broke it off because I felt like I was more attached to her than she was to me. She was the first girl I've had sex with, and the fist girl I ever really had a relationship with.
My feelings of unequal attachment were amplified by the fact that she didn't want to open up to me, and that she still hung out with her ex, who she left me for.
I feel that my neediness and feelings of attachment and insecurity were the primary downfall of the relationship.
What can I do to prevent this from happening again? I'm afraid that when I do find someone else, I'll get too attached and sabotage myself.
>>17165177
Who she left for me*
>>17165177
It sounds like you did the right thing to me.
>>17165188
Thank you. I think we had different goals in the relationship. I think I wanted to be more serious than she did. I just can't shake the feeling that if I had developed feelings slower, and allowed her more time to open up to me, that things could have worked out.
>>17165177
>she still hung out with her ex
you were being cucked from the get-go if you let that go on for 5 fucking months bro
>>17165246
Sounds like OP was the one trying to cuck the ex.
>>17165251
>her ex, who she left me for.
nah son
silly clingy virgins *shakes head*
>>17165262
>>17165179
>Who she left for me*
Unless that wasn't OP.
Deal with it, you didn't find the one, just a random girl. You're going to feel bad about it but it's okay, you still broke it off before it got real serious.
>>17165177
Well, naturally you become less attached to your partner the more relationships you have.
>>17165268
I know, I know. I feel stupid for expecting her to connect with me more. >>17165269
That was me.
>>17165279
It just makes me sad I guess. It hurts when you love someone but their experiences have made them so jaded that they can't reciprocate those feelings.
The same exact thing happened to me, OP.
>tfw I no longer have my feminist bisexual pink haired crazy gf
>tfw she was a bitch but I still miss her terribly
>tfw my heart is physically, literally aching when I think about her
I can't do anything, nothing distracts me anymore, it's been two weeks and I'm still a mess. I sincerely wish I never met her.
I know another girl can possibly fill the void, but something stops me from pursuing that. Like I can't let go.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
>>17165177
Practice strong boundaries and true vulnerability and openness. You will come to see if you are completely honest and communicative about what you want, you will achieve it that much faster. Don't be afraid that how you feel and what you say will push people away. It will. But you will be practicing self worth and this is true confidence, being comfortable with what you don't have. It's the reason why when you don't care much about a girl, they seem to like you more. It's easier to be decisive and open. If you do this with girls you actually DO want to be with, they will be attracted to you the same way.
>>17165385
Can you give examples of boundaries and things to be open about? I like your advice and I want to make sure that I'm understanding it completely.
>>17165385
What a crock of shit.
5 months? Get over it. You were pussy whipped by your first sexual experience. It's common for both males and females.
She was never over the ex, you were the guy she thought she'd try as a way of lashing back at the ex and the grass wasn't greener after all.
Shrug it off and look for another girl. Enjoy the pussy but don't let it muddle your brains.
>>17165431
I'm not that worried about her. I don't want her back. We weren't right for each other, and I see that. What I want to know is when I do find the next girl, how do I avoid the mistakes I made with this one?
>>17165446
You didn't make any mistakes. Stop fretting and obsessing over something that didn't happen. She simply wasn't into you because she still wanted the ex... you were just a distraction for her.
The more you worry about "not making mistakes" the harder it is to relax and let things unfold naturally.
>>17165466
Alright, thanks.
>>17165431
I'm just giving advice on how to not fall into the same cycle of neediness. After my first gf I swore I wouldn't be so overbearing and spineless but ended up repeating my mistakes until I ultimately saw how I was actually lying to myself and the girls I was dating. Maybe I'm projecting a bit but if he can take some time to analyze his situation he can probably find some positive changes he can make in himself.
>>17165410
Examples of strong boundaries include having standards, communicating when you're not comfortable with something, being willing to walk away from a relationship because your needs are not met. If you feel overly responsible for someone else's feelings you probably have poor boundaries ("sorry guys, I can't hang out, my gf will be mad" when you haven't even asked her or afraid to).
Being vulnerable and honest ties into this. By communicating how you feel, you are practicing strong boundaries. Of course you do want to be considerate of others' feelings but you are not responsible for them. Being inconsiderate makes you an asshole, assuming responsibility for them results in neediness.
>>17165542
Thank you.
"I don't want her back"
Oui oui oui, good to know
>>17165685
and good luck for the next one
>>17165179
With a girl that left her ex for you and still hangs out with him, I'd definitely back the fuck off.
You saved yourself a lot of emotional hurt, and you didn't do anything wrong. You just need to find someone who actually can feel something real.
>>17165697
What bothered me the most about it was that she would never try to understand or accept that it made me uncomfortable. She would tell me that they're just friends, and that I needed to just not worry about it because she picked me over him. I suggested that since they're just friends, we could all hang out together. She saw this request as me being controlling.
I feel like if she was really committed to me the way I was to her, hanging out with him wouldn't even be on her mind.
Kill Yourself you Got Cucked. Go look up loli to feel better
>>17165194
Im not the same anon but here are my 2cents
You know, that is the first time I heard anyone do what you did. A needy person can't let go but what you did was rational. You saw that she wasn't too into you as you were with her. You notice you went 0 to 60 with her. You noticed that she wasnt really ready for anything seriois. You notice all these things and you decided to it was best to end it. Not a lot of people would do that, they will just try to press on in vain failing to accept that it is doomed and will be come real sour in the end. It probably was for the best. You will find a chick who is into you and wants the same as you OP.
>>17165779
I really hope so. I'm not the super outgoing type but I'm decent looking and I feel like I have alot of love to give someone who is willing to give it back.
>>17166147
Real talk, I'm the same. And even more real, it will be hard to find another since this is your personality. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. What you need to do is let go any thoughts of having a gf so you can be in love. Let shit happen, be cool and dont rush. You do those things, you dont come off despreate or needy, two dealbreakers for chicks.
