Long story short, I'm 20, and I'm wondering where the fuck you meet women even
Sure, at 21, there's bars and clubs, but especially where I live, there's a very distinctly douchey gymbro guido type basic bitch vibe with that crowd, I'm more of a nerdy pothead guy.
Sometimes I try to talk to women at the gym but for the most part they aren't having that beyond a quick chuckle so I figure "okay, out in the street, right?" But nah, most chicks just jogging or about town can't be bothered. Men get a really bum deal, because then we have to go online and flirt with a bunch of reject bin crazies. So where else am I not considering?
>>17164110
Tinder or Happn OP.
>>17164110
Are you in college? I met my boyfriend when he just walked up to my study table and started talking to me.
Some girls are receptive to this and some aren't, it's hit or miss.
>>17164116
Tinder is bullshit. It's 90% fake accounts
>>17164118
I do go to college, I'm an average guy with long hair which is usually hit or miss with chicks but regardless of that, I go to a two year community college atm, and the only social crowd around there are the black kids.
I learnt quickly in my first semester that the randos walking along the parking lot and sidewalks on campus don't like it when you say anything to them. You think this is 4chan and I'm a sperg but not even a quick "hey, how's it going/I like your X" gets their attention. I had one chick come over one time, we vibed a bit, and a week and a half later she had a bf.
>>17164116
I use tinder but I really don't get many matches. Ever since the update you can't see when they were online so there's no way to tell if people are even using it, plus I think if you swipe quickly they actually make it so you appear less to others
>>17164134
How long is your hair? Example?
>>17164116
Idk, for example I was supposed to meet this one girl off tinder today, but she bailed (at least told me a few hours in advance). Not the first time this has happened.
Most girls use tinder as a quick ego boost to see that guys are interested in them. But most likely they won't do shit.
>>17164134
>long hair
>pothead
>community college
Well, I went to community college and you seem like the exact kind of guy I tried to avoid. Nothing reeks of lack of ambition like all three of those traits in tandem.
Get a haircut, I guarantee you'll do better.
>>17164136
It doesn't help to use some male actors photo but sort of like this except dark brown and straighter
>>17164143
1) I look terrible with short hair
2) desu you sound like a bitch anyway, if you're a girl, I'd love to see/hear what you look like. I bet no ass, insecure, skinny and a disgusting bleach blonde
3) I can pretty much tell you're saying pot=loser, so you must have been under a rock for the last 10 years or so
When I meet a woman like you irl I laugh dude you think you're such hot shit lmao
>>17164147
that's gross man. Get it cut.
>>17164156
Not that poster but damn you came off as insecure OP with all that. Chill out man, you're the one who posted that he doesn't get laid.
>>17164156
no the person you're replying to. But you sound kind of pathetic with that response Tbh.
you have to realize the majority of girls are not going to find guys with long hair attractive. unless you're at a big party, or find girls who like dope. Being a pothead isn't a good thing.
Now her community college response I thought was pretty stupid. Because community college can actually be a smarter option than going to a 4 year school right away. so she's stupid for that. But she's probably right with the other 2 things. And I'm a dude, but I can see where she comes from with it
Oh boy here we go, adv once again giving me shit
>>17164162
>that's gross
How? That's not even me, but even if it was, that guy's gorgeous, and I'm straight. Are you a straight girl, a gay guy? What are your qualifications
>>17164163
Ah-ah-ah. Never said don't get laid, it would be more appropriate to say not getting laid. It's been a hell of a dry streak. That doesn't come off as insecure, the guy(or girl) initiated shit so I shut them down. Nothing wrong with that, but on 4chan, of all places, people read that shit as passive aggressive and assume I'm being petty
>>17164134
Nope, the people that you see are based on something entirely different, they have a ranking index based upon your looks.
>>17164137
Well OP that happens and is not uncommon, you need to sort through it. Guys use it as an ego boost too (myself included). But you can meet and hook up with tons of people by using it. A common mistake people make, is that they want to talk back and forth for an extended period of time. Tinder is a catalogue, so when you match there's already a physical attraction. Small talk a little bit and then act on it. Fridays and saturdays are usually prime time.
>>17164172
>being a pothead isn't a good thing
It certainly isn't a bad thing, people tend not to give a shit. Again I ask, have you been under a rock? Even the basic bitch types are smoking these days, so unless you're picturing me as this guy I don't see where that comes from
I question your background of knowledge
>>17164175
I had also long hair, did my share of pot and went to a university. I met most girls at parties at friends places or during festivals (metal n stuff).
So i do not think that having long hair is something negative nor smoking pot. Go somewhere where you can talk to girls, get to know them a little bit while getting drunk or stoned.
>>17164183
That wasn't me, if I meet a girl on tinder they usually disappear mid convo, I don't think most people who use it are that involved to be honest
>>17164172
And furthermore, where are you getting pathetic from? Fuck you. But I suppose now that I said fuck you it sounds pathetic right? Pathetic would be taking what the person I replied to said without telling them to fuck off for being a cheeky cunt, and not telling you to suck a dick for calling me pathetic. I question how your sense of interaction works
>>17164183
(Not op btw) I learned that lesson to not talk much. After a few back and forths you want to ask to meet up/get a number at least. But most of my experiences the girl bails. Probably got asked to meet up with a better looking guy
>>17164156
You probably look terrible with long hair too!
If you want to know why women aren't lining up to fuck you, I'm telling you why. My boyfriend smokes weed, but not enough that he uses it as a key term in describing his personality. There's a difference between smoking occasionally and smoking all the time.
You can call me a bitch for not wanting to date people like you all you want, you're the one who sounds insecure.
>>17164194
Well that's the trade-off.
I too have removed girls since a more interesting one started messaging me. Keep your options open and eventually she'll show up.
>>17164177
This is news to me, how does that work
>>17164194
>>17164185
mfw you're getting butthurt because you probably look exactly like pic related. And girls don't like you from it. So you get pissed off from things /adv/ say that actually makes sense
>>17164185
>It certainly isn't a bad thing
Yes it is man, 420 this, lets get stoned that, stoners whining about making it legal, talking about how every other drug is articifial/bad for you but weed is the cure for cancer/death and fucking life itself. Most people who smoke pot are degenerates.
>>17164206
I m quite sure there are still girls that like that look, its harder but he can stay as he is.
Is it really worth changing your looks to get laid?
>>17164201
I don't even smoke all the time, I had panic attacks and stopped smoking as much, but this is 4chan, and it's easier for me to tell you how I look by saying I'm a hippie/stoner than some shit like "I'm five foot five white Italian male with hair to my shoulders", reading that, it sounds worse by providing more vague, less directed details you can easily assign a more grotesque mental image to
>>17164185
Like another anon said. There IS a difference between occasionally taking a hit maybe a few times a year. But being a "pothead" is definitely a negative thing
>>17164206
>trolling on /adv/
>LOL U GOT MAD SO U MUST BE WRONG
Literally child logic
But that's what you get for feeding the trolls right?/showing any kind of reaction
"Look guiz he told someone who said some rude shit to him to fuck off! He's emotionally invested! We got 'im now!"
Also, if that's the dude from Pineapple Express, he's not even bad looking, what crack are you smoking? My hairs much thicker than that though
>>17164213
well of course there are some. But that number is few.
and no, it's not worth changing looks just to get laid. But changing can raise self esteem. I've had the same short, military style haircut most of my life. A girl suggested I let it grow just a little bit and comb it over. So I reluctantly did it. But you know what? It turned out good. And I'm glad I made the change
>>17164211
Sounds like you have a personal bias, and you think I don't like the rasta colored bongs and "stay high bumper stickers"? But you have to face the facts, most people smoke, think smoking makes you some kind of "sekret klub" cool, and respect getting high. You're like some straight edge hardcore /pol/lack with avocado skin if you think weed is the most degenerate thing going around right now
>>17164214
>5'5"
Found the problem.
>Is it really worth changing your looks to get laid?
Yes? Women do this all the time, What part of your appearance is so intrinsic to your identity that you wouldn't alter it at all? I'd never dye my hair, but that's about the only thing I can think of.
>>17164185
I live in a state where it's legal to grow and smoke pot, and potheads are frowned upon by normal people. Take it like this:
There seems to be a pattern to how people interpret behaviors that deviate from the norm (Yes, lots of people smoke weed, but it's not the norm). If you're a high-functioning, capable human being who clearly has their shit together, nobody can touch you. You might be eccentric, but because of your success, nobody can shit on you for it either. If you're anything but that, they will conclude that the deviant behavior is WHY you're not successful. I have no idea who you are OP, but this is how the common person perceives behavior.
>>17164204
They are secretive about it, but it comes down to voting systematics. Whenever you swipe right on, one person and left on another you are basically voting on the persons desirability in comparison to each other. This way Tinder is able to use the information to see which profiles are the most alluring in aggregate. Your rank is determined by who you are being matched against and their own score. Its pretty fascinating actually
>>17164221
>he's not even bad looking
>>17164226
Same. I had long hair and when I cut it all off I got compliments everywhere. I believe it is purely because of our view of how a man should look tho.
In various scenes, like the metal scene it is widely accepted.
Anyways, your point is valid.
>>17164230
What my height? Is this some Manlet troll thread? That's never mattered to me once, I've never had a girl turn me down and say I was too short, you're focusing on the wrong thing
I don't want to change how I look like the other guy said, I just want to know where to expose myself to the most women (not that way you fucks)
Point me in the right direction and I'll do the work. I have no problem talking to ladies, but I have a problem finding them in what could be considered a proper social setting - and really, that indicates more of a problem with society at large. It used to be out and about just in the neighborhood on the sidewalk was a fine way to meet a pal. But these days most people are inside glued to screens and avoid going outside unless needed, it's sad
>>17164235
>in various scenes it's accepted
Yes that is true. if OP goes and hangs out with a bunch of hippies dresses like James Franco, he could probably get girls there.
it's all about the type of crowd
>>17164231
True but you're really touching on the wrong thing. When you say there are people who frown upon it, I imagine you're inherently talkin about an older conservative demographic who would think that regardless of how it's publicly perceived because they've grown up that way. And you know why they're so stubborn about that kind of shit? It's because they're stupid, desu. I'm not tryin to condescend, I just have a good idea of who you mean. It has to be a regional thing in honesty. What state are you in
>>17164237
>I can't get laid because millennials are glued to their phones.
Okay, fuck, you got me.
>>17164228
> most people smoke
The only people I know smoke are the young 20s thinking they are so cool and different for doing so, and they revel in it and take pride like they are so unique for doing so. Exactly what you said about the secret klub cool.
>You're like some straight edge hardcore /pol/lack with avocado skin if you think weed is the most degenerate thing going around right now
Perhaps degenerate isn't the right word. But most of these people lack substance, they are so uninteresting that it makes up their identity
Also, I'm nowhere near straight edge. I smoke and drink, and drink every fortnight at the weekends or so. Alcohol, while worse off is far more sociable. I mean I fucking love the taste of alcohol and getting drunk, It's just I don't take pride and make it part of my identity like most of these people do that smoke pot.
>>17164233
Well that's funny because I see a lot of attractive women on there, but I don't get many matches. So that means there's a majority of decent looking women swiping right on me I'm not seeing?
>>17164234
I'm a straight man, just to reiterate, and yes, he's not that bad looking. That gif actually looks better than the picture you used earlier, step your game up bitch
>>17164235
I'll give you an example, I had long hair in high school, but unfortunately I had a pencil Stach, a puberty-starter kit kind of deal. Now I have clean shaven except for my lower lip, and my hair is long again but blow dried
I cut it shorter once in between and I literally got no different reactions. I hate when an argument makes me sound like some SJW faggot but in this case they have a point sort of, you're assuming a lot there based on a little. Most people don't give a shit now people look except for whether or not they're attractive.
So your obvious reply is you must be ugly right? But this is wrong too, I've had enough experience across the board both IRL and online to tell me I'm appealing to a wide spectrum of girls. Prpblem is, like I said, I'm in a dry streak, and don't have many places to meet new women
>>17164254
I agree
The "420 blaze it" crowd is lame and degenerate
>>17164250
>if I post a bait picture, his whole post is invalidated!
You missed the point of that post entirely
>>17164254
Fair enough, you sound more level headed than before, but here's what you're missing, it's not just potheads who lack substance, most people do. Have you ever talked to a girl who is considered popular? They've gotta be the most boring conscious creatures alive. Again, this indicates a larger problem with society than just too many fuckhead kids with weed
>>17164257
Not necessarily. Their rank may be different from yours, Tinder market themselves as a way of meeting attractive people, if it did not display such people for you, you would not even use the app. They are clever.
>>17164265
>You missed the point of that post entirely
You mean the part where he blamed the way society is structured for his inability to meet women? You can meet women at the gym, in college, at a library, around town. If you're attractive and interesting, you can get their number. It's not like they're locked away in a fucking tower.
>>17164275
That's a good point. Fucking bastards aren't they. And they took away moments too so I can't even see a titty when things are boring
>>17164265
>Have you ever talked to a girl who is considered popular? They've gotta be the most boring conscious creatures alive. Again, this indicates a larger problem with society than just too many fuckhead kids with weed
I'm 28. I grew up with the explosion of nu-metal and alternative and goths and all that shit. One thing I've noticed as I've gotten older is that it's not any different for the alternative crowd. People like to think they are so unique/alternative, but really, I don't see any difference from the stereotypical blonde popular girl from the alternative hot tattooed girl who smokes pot. They are both one and the same thing, the only difference is of that of preference. Both stereotypes are boring as shit, finding people that don't appeal to any form of cliche is hard. I probably fit into that category myself. I game, listen to metal and love RPG themed things as well as anime. I just don't let them define me however as best I can.
>>17164243
Uh, no. I mean the population at large. I don't mean an older, conservative demographic. I mean most people. I have lived in Colorado all my life. As a rough approximate, anybody who likes to get high more than about once every week or two sends off red flags. Same with drinking.
Well, maybe not if you're a freshman. 18 or 19 year olds entering college as freshmen are willing to do ANYTHING and ANYONE.
>>17164281
You're too idealistic. Let's take that principle and apply it to real life:
You go up to a girl in the gym, you're both working out, she's focused on whatever shit's on her mind, you come up all sweaty and say some introductory line, she laughs, you ask for her number, she says no, you're too young, I'm taken. You say, okay, no big deal. You're at college, you go up to a chick with the best fitting clothes you have, and in the most suave voice you can think of, completely devoid of any hint of desperation or eagerness, say hey how's it going, she says hey, not bad, but is still walking by, you realize she's not stopping to talk, but you try more: What major are you in?/Generic follow up question, but she keeps walking, silent.
The point is, you seem like the disillusioned one here. If it were at easy as you say I'd be swimming in chicks, literally. You have to take into account the fact that people put "blinders" on in public, they want nothing to do with "others". You're more LIKELY to not get anywhere with randos, outside of a bar or something where they expect to be hit on. And that's messed up. If that isn't antisocial, then what is?
>>17164284
Alright that's all well and good, but selling yourself as that to some rando on the street for as shallow a reason as she got dat booty is pretty hard, is it not?
You sound like a cool guy though, I'm glad I took the chance to not thicken the passive aggressive shit. Where you from man
>>17164288
Same with drinking? What? It has to come down to area/region then. And age, like I said. My whole life I've been between Long Island, an admittedly snooty and stuck up offshoot of NYC culture, and upstate NY, which is a mishmash of hicks and hipsters. Drinking is fairly regular for both, people have a glass of wine a night, and act like there's nothing strange about it, and sure, college kids drink more often, but so do the late twenties and early thirties kids. I'm not a huge liberal but let's be honest, this is an argument of geography and culture above anything else. You're in the Midwest, which is notorious for being the "late-movers", the stragglers, the conservative cultures as opposed to the coasts. You can't deny that.
>>17164292
>you're both working out, she's focused on whatever shit's on her mind
Why are you trying to talk to her while she's busy doing something?
>she says hey, not bad, but is still walking by
Why are you trying to talk to her when she's going somewhere?
Life is full of an unbelievable quantity of boring, idle moments. Someone's waiting for the bus. Someone's waiting for the professor to show up. Someone's waiting for their friend to text them back. You can catch people in these moments and save them from soul-crushing minutia. You're not about to stop a stranger mid-stride with the power of your "how's it going".
Talk to people that are sitting down.
>>17164312
Okay, I see what you're saying, but let's look at these principles:
1) there's more variety in the sheer number of people you're going to see passing by than sitting down, and for me, personally, most the girls I see I want to talk to fal under the passing by category
2) couldn't you just as easily make the same argument for sitting down? Sitting down implies engagement and/or disconnection just as much as walking does. So it's all a gamble, anyway
3) as for the gym thing - we're both doing something, we're at the gym. And on a larger note: sometimes that's just where the attractive women are and what they're doing. I'm not about to let an opportunity pass with some 10/10 cougar with birthing hips so wide they've make a black man faint on the spot just because she's on the cardio machine next to me
>>17164309
By drinking, I mean getting drunk. If you get wasted on the regular, that's bad. If you like to have a drink, there isn't a single person that cares.
There are pockets within Colorado like Manitou Springs in Colorado Springs where EVERYBODY is one of the "natural" types and nobody cares about how much weed you smoke. They're still in the minority, however. I suppose I'm giving you the wrong information. I'm talking about relationships. Women typically do not want relationships with a guy who smokes weed too frequently. However, if you just want to smash, that shouldn't too much of an issue. In fact, it might lend itself to your cause since if they're looking to get stuffed, they might be further enticed by the idea of some casual drinking and smoking.
>>17164331
You're not wrong, but like you said, it's a pocket, what is our country if not the world but a series of pockets?
>>17164324
>most the girls I see I want to talk to fall under the passing by category
That's your own problem, if you want to hit on women that are actively walking away from you then you're fighting a losing battle.
>sitting down implies engagement and/or disconnection just as much as walking does
I rarely see someone sitting down in public who isn't just fucking around on their phone.
>i'm not about to let an opportunity pass
Don't then, just don't act so fucking disadvantaged when it doesn't work out.
>>17164335
Maybe you're in a pocket. I know I'm outside of one.
>>17164340
Doesn't having their heads buried in a phone give the same message off as power walking down the street? It's all a gamble to gain and then keep someone's attention
I'm not acting disadvantaged personally, although men are quite literally fighting a losing battle just by being men, but I need more places to engage. I'm about to go out on the old bike and I'm hoping to see some ladies up in town
