I know this girl for about six months, but I immediatly got along with her when I met her, to the point that we became close friends within few days. She told me about her depression, her problems with her boyfriend (we were both engaged), with her family, really everything. I helped her to get out her depression.
During these six months we both broke up. Fastforward, a month ago. I got rejected by a girl, and she supported me a lot. Like, a lot. She got rejected too a few days after what happened to me, and I did the same for her. And after that, I feel attracted to her. I don't know why.
We spend a lot of time together. We often go to the library, we hang out, we text each other. She also wanted to help me to try again with the girl I liked, she was sure that if she helped me to "polish my image" she would have changed her mind, haha.
But. I'm sure that I'm not her type of man she wants. She's not sexually attracted to me. And that's okay. She's bold, confident, restless. I'm shy, calm, friendly. She actually enjoy a lot my presence, she always said that I make her more relaxed. Since the last rejection, she talks a lot about how she is single, and unlucky because she can't find a boyfriend. We're in the same situation, and we joke a lot about it. She had a lot of unsuccesful stories, so did I.
I don't want to ruin our friendship because of me. So I tought that my best bet is to let her know that I'm attracted to her without saying it. But I'm pretty bad at flirting, sadly.
I'll see her tomorrow, and saturday too. I want to create a chance, if possible. If not, I'll gladly move on; but I wanted to know what do you think, because maybe I'm not really thinking clearly right now.
About my look: I'm pretty fit, decent looking, but ugh, I'm about 5'5. Maybe I should work more on my look, I'm the type of guy who often wears the first thing he finds.
So, what would you do if you were me? Feel free to ask me questions.
>>17161390
You've already crossed the line. You are attracted to her and that can only end in a relationship or heartbreak. It cannot be avoided. So go for it. Tell her the honest truth about your feelings and see what happens.
>>17161390
If you're not good at flirting irl then do it over text or something. If you have good English and can think of words then you should be Ok with this because you're not physically there with her so any awkwardness is avoided because you can take your time to calculate you replies etc.
As for knowing what to say in these texts, a devil may care attitude is best imo. stuff like "what do you wear to bed" has a whole avenue of potential flirtaciousness. Similarly, getting her to subconsciiouslythink of your junk will start tipping things in your favour. for example, if you're texting, take a 15 minute break and tell her you're going or a shower and her sub conscious will have you naked in her body.
whatever the fuck other people say, boys and girls are meant to go out and not be "friends". even on the most innocent level, there's a masculine protectiveness to protect female friends which is a metaphor for possession.
If you keep hinting at the sexual, you'll change her mind about wanting to be "just friends" because that's the way males and females are meant to interact.
One last thing...
You talk about sexual attraction. For girls this means something a lot different than for guys and, as I'm sure you've heard or read before, how you look doesn't really matter. She already knows you care for her, just just doesn't think of you in that way, so soften her up in texts and hint at your intentions before winding up to make your feelings clear.
subliminal sexual messages.
That's the moral of my advice.
ahh, the not-so-elusive friendzone.
Best way out of it every time is to read about how to flirt and then lay it on thick. She'll either go for it or she won't but either way, she'll start recognising you as someone she could date rather than her bestie that holds her hand through her troubles.
>>17161390
>She's not sexually attracted to me. And that's okay.
No. It isn't. Sex doesn't have to be the primary part of your relationship, but it has to be part of it nonetheless if you want to be romantic and not just friends.
Speaking of which, the fact that you've known her for only six months and already consider her your "Best friend" is rather alarming.
>>17161415
I'll eventually do it, I guess.
>>17161451
The thing is that maybe I'm physically there. I am not afraid to touch her, and she's not afraid of what I can do. But I always touch her in a playful way. Often she comes to my home, and we lay on my bed.
I'm recently trying to gain a bit more confidence. I'm trying to hold eye contact more with her, touch her more, smile more. All this very recently, and very gradually. She doesn't seem afraid of what I'm doing.
I'll think about texting her, thanks for the advice.
>>17161390
Do you guys touch much? like do you hug and stuff? because if you've already got a physical sort of friendship then I'd say you're fucked. for example, one of the most electrifying feelings (for me at least) is to sit next to a girl watching a movie or something, and then you touch arms every now and again and get shivers of pleasure like a cat purring. the sexual tension just that simple touch causes, over the course of an entire movie works wonders. even better for the girl because they're all sensitive and shit.
Bella Swan was a cold-hearted bitch, but at least she understood Jacob's feelings and reciprocated them.
>>17161467
Well, poor choice of words. I should have said close girl friend of mine, or something like this. Anyways, I can assure you that the relationship I have with her is pretty different with every girl friend I had, we talk each other about really everything. She's a good person.
>>17161475
Not until recently, as I said here >>17161474. I'm working on my flirting game, and I'm trying to send her a message.
>>17161482
I never questioned whether she was a good person. I questioned whether you have your feet on the ground and your head out of the clouds. A one-sided attraction is exactly that, and no amount of work on your "Flirting game" will magically make this girl fall for your in a romantic sense if she's shown zero interest in taking your relationship in that direction so far.
Right now, you're setting yourself up to ruin your friendship by trying to rush into dating her for no apparent reason and becoming bitter when you get rejected. Just cool your jets, and if your relationship develops the way that you want it to naturally, great. Quit trying to force things.
>>17161390
I think you feel attracted to her because of your emotional connection to her like where you guys helped each other out through tough spots or whatever.
you said yourself that you don't want to ruin your friendship with her, but from your tone, and that fact that you're posting here, it's probably going to beat you up more if you don't do anything about it.
Her not being "sexually attracted" to you is just bullshit. When you message girls or spend time with them, if they aren't attracted to you (not admitting or showing that they are doesn't count) then they just won't be around you. They love the attention, sure, but a meaningful friendship between a straight guy and a straight girl always has the potential of becoming something nice.
The best relationship I ever had was like having a best friend who I also had sex with. It's so comfortable and warm.
Taking that step though, that leap, can be hard because what the fuck are you meant to say?
I think you're only hope is that when you're doing stuff like you said in >>17161474
is to turn that up a bit. always hold eye contact with her and then you need to make a decision: just become the alpha you were born to be and just kiss her; or let go, have her as your really good friend and find someone else to take your mind off her.
>>17161512
you're talking shit mate. single females and single males who are friends always have a chance to have something more. The fact that they spend time together is enough. "flirting game" doesn't just mean "picking up chicks and making them like you", it sparks a connection that maybe she hadn't thought about until that point.
Don't listen to this guy OP, waiting around for something to just happen is stupid - it won't. you gotta actually be proactive about it or you'll just stagnate and fall deeper.
>>17161512
Okay, now I get what you're saying. I don't want to force things, you're right. I'm not trying to rush things, really, that's why I'm taking it reeeally slowly. I won't change my behavior immediatly, but gradually. Thanks.
>>17161520
Yes, you're right. If I choose to not do anything, it will hurt more than a rejection.
And true, I didn't think that way about sexual attraction. Thank you. If I see the right chance I'll try to kiss her.
