Explain

>>17159856
im in a relationship with someone who has a lot of insecurities and boundries that I respect but he still gets very upset when something on the internet, tv, or when someone else says something triggers him and he takes it out on me and thinks its my fault for triggering him. I try to soothe him but he starts calling me names and making me feel below him. He never apologizes after he feels better even though he agrees when I tell him that it was wrong for him to take such strong emotions out on me. I put up with the emotional rollercoaster because I love him endlessly. I'm confused to why I love him so much and can't leave him because I had a partner like this and I left him so easily.

Please help me find a way to think of him and his behavior as disgusting rather than excusable.

>>17159873
How about the fact that the behavior being exhibited is basically emotional abuse.

And...triggered? Fuck that shit. If I ever had a relationship where I was accused of "triggering" someome, I'd cut it off right there. The adult world doesn't have time for tumblr/reddit level pedantic bullshit like that. Sounds to me like you're involved with a self centered manchild

>>17159911
Well he really is triggered by things that give him panic attacks but the way he deals with it is bullshit. I don't know why I can't leave him despite being miserable. I don't think I can unless I have some kind of major distraction when I break up. I am so afraid of this heart break because I was able to stop loving someone when I left them the last time and it didn't hurt me at all.

>>17159922
If he is watching or seeing things that gives him panic attacks, he needs to see a therapist. Wtf is it that sets him off?

His lashing out at you is evident of selfish and self centered hebavior. He doesn't love you. He's using you and your love for him to justify something to himself in order to cope.

You are not going to fix him. You are not going to mend him. You need to make the break happen before he really hurts you

>>17159939
I'm already so hurt that im used to the abuse. I want to stop feeling used to this and feeling that it is acceptable but I don't know what to do. I wish I had a big older brother in this situation to fend him off, I feel helpless.

He also refuses to see a therapist, I try to use therapy techniques and active listening that I've learned from therapy he listens to my advice and is all happy that something can help him but then a few days later he lashes out again. so there is no hope

>>17159950
Do you live together?

>>17159939
he is set off when he sees anything about cheating, he thinks i will cheat on him. I love him so much I wouldn't cheat on him even though i feel most people would toy with the idea of cheating at this point, I don't know why I feel so trapped.

>>17159956
We live each other half of the time. I have my own place but he comes over half of the month and has a key.

>>17159962
First step here is to start placing some layers of protection for you. Take your key back. After that, I'd be more aware of when and where you see him. Don't let yourself be trapped where you don't have a way to get away.

You need to set boundaries. You've lost your objectivity about your own personal self wOrth and saftey. You deserve to be safe, respected, treated like an adult. If he can't meet those simple expectations, then you pull away.

Powerful and loving possessive relationships where the need and attraction is fired and mutual and established as a part of a healthy relationship is a good thing. Right nkw, you've basically said that he's hurting you in order to keep you from leaving him. That's domestic abuse at the very least.

If he can't see that, and it seems like he doesnt, then you have to do what's right for you. He's not going to change into some amazing man. He's not going to flip a switch and make everything sprinkles and rainbows.

He. Is. Abusing. You.

You gotta get your head on straight and do what's right for you....because he sure as hell wont

>>17159991
thank you i hope i can find the strength to do this through your words

>>17159999
I hope you can , too. It won't be easy sailing, but if you can feel so passionately about someone, I seriously hope you can find someone much more deserving of that kind of fire inside you. Just remember that you deserve to feel loved, protected, respected, needed, wanted, hungered for, and ...most importantly...safe.

>>17160030
this is everything i needed to hear i cant thank you enough

>>17160050
Just get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow you just put one foot in front of the other. You can do this.