Super long story short.
I forced myself into that situation. I forced myself as hard as motherfucker.
Yeah there were some stumbles along the way but, I did it.

And now I have to start all over again. Fuck my life.

>>17157918
I've only ever found two ways over the hump that work for me: force and trickery. The first involves me dragging myself kicking and screaming (internally) over the hump. The second involves arranging events so that there is no option but to get to the other side of the hump as quickly as possible. Neither of these is reliable, but the fact that they work at all puts them leagues over anything else I'm aware of.

I'm not proud of this. Quite the opposite: I feel deep shame over the rank childishness of my inner monologue. I wish I could just Do Things the way normal people do, without having to fight these protracted and ridiculous battles with myself. But I have never figured out how, and no one has been able (or willing) to tell me.

>>17158004
literally me

but I've been failing for the last half of a yea or so

once I trick myself into doing it I actually get into whatever I was supposed to do, and do a good job

then I realize that it literally took 3 times more time to get myself to start than to actually finish the job

it's retarded and so horribly inefficient jesus christ

Basically set small goals and do things really fast over and over. Routine is so important.

In my life, in the big picture I'm taking my step from "I'll try to do it" to "I can do it"
feels like that point where you start to buy nice cloths and start to get dedicated and are comfortable with your routine and more.

Have a goal that requires another goal

For me it's going to the gym and cashing my paycheck. I could get direct deposit but since the bank is near the gym I go there to exercise and cash my paycheck after.

I'm stuck on 'I won't do it', specifically when it comes to relationships and socialising. I'm stuck so hard in it that I want people to try and fix it so I can sabotage any attempts.

>>17158112
It's really hard when you don't really like people, but you want to.

>>17158152

Yeah. Or if you like people, but only sometimes.

>>17158152
yeah ok, that's probably more accurate for me aswell.

focus on the top.

keep your eyes on the prize.

don't look down.

keep moving.

>>17157918
Just do it. Make your memes come true