Let's say I'm tired of being a "nu-male" like 4chan describes. What do I do?
>inb4 go to the gym
Well I tried doing that while I was a web developer but those two worlds just don't mesh. If you are trying to become an alpha male, that is inherently at odds with the working culture (and what's expected of you) as a developer.
What jobs do 4channers do? Since you guys are obviously all so macho male, tell me, what do you do? Salesmen? Estate agents? Professional bodybuilders?
>>17151126
I don't frequent 4chan very often, and when I do it is mainly in here.
A sales job is actually a good way to build character and train your communication skills. I worked for a call center when I was a teenager, and although the job sucked by then, I wouldn't trade it for anything to this day.
- Macho is subjective. People that believes that getting a girlfriend and hitting the gym, will solve their problems are usually wrong. Which is why they come crawling back to this board some time after.
Do what you enjoy doing OP.
>>17151134
Fair enough.
I think the problem is I'm horrendously fucking insecure - I've had my confidence blown apart by 4chan, by all the talk of being a "c.u.c.k.", how feminist and liberals are destroying the world and traditional masculine values, etc.
I used to be happy with myself and the idea of being a web developer (before I actually became one, that is). 4chan and my insecurities then made me hesitant about taking that developer job, and then I eventually quit, I guess out of my own bottled up autistic rage at not being a real man or some shit.
I keep thinking of joining the military. I reckon it would be great fucking fun. But I've never done anything like that and, even though I'm sure I can be in shape for it (I've practiced the run before, and I practice the press ups and sit ups all the time), I don't know if I'm too weak a person (physically and mentally) to do it.
What the fuck do I do man. All throughout of school I managed to keep my identity, keep my sanity. Kids picked on me but I always believed I was still adequate as a male, I mean I knew I was a nerd but I thought it was okay, I justified it to myself y'know. But now I feel completely fucking blown apart. And I have no fucking idea what to do.
>>17151175
Alpha males in the military get cucked all the time. Being alpha doesn't protect you from infidelity
>>17151175
>What the fuck do I do man.
You get off 4chan and never come back. This place is toxic if you're the sort of person who lets it get to you.
>>17151217
Are you in the military?
>>17151224
Maybe you're right, have you done this?
>>17151240
>Maybe you're right, have you done this?
Clearly not, but then again, what I read here hasn't eaten away at my self esteem. I still have my self-worth.
>>17151245
Well you could have done it before at some point.
Well how then? How do you deal with all the talk of "c.u.c.k.s"?
Are you a relatively normal dude then? Job, gf, friends?
>>17151240
No, but I know people in the US army and navy, one of which got cheated on while he was deployed and ended up hearing about it from the guy who fucked his wife
>>17151263
I'm a girl, actually. Pretty much a 'normie', to be honest; I have a balanced life outside of the internet. I don't have to deal with that stuff because it doesn't have anything to do with me. Same with the whole 'women are worthless whores' stuff, because I know I'm not a worthless whore. Why should I internalise attitudes about women that I know isn't true about me?
>>17151175
I've also been in the army. One of the most valuable things I've learned in life is to try out different things in order to see where the passion is.
Military was one of my best experiences I have ever had and what I was taught in there is still useful in my daily work- and study life.
Don't worry about whether your mentality. You will get the right mentality when they push you through basic training.
It sounds like you've always done what other people tell you to do, or perhaps the majority. Sometimes it is okay to go your own ways OP, regardless of what other people say. In the end you're the one that has to live with the decision.
Where is this insecurity coming from?
>>17151285
Well you don't know it, you just tell yourself that, it's not knowledge, and it's definitely not certain.
>>17151268
Fuck.
>>17151224
This girl is absolutely right OP. If you do not have a balanced life you will start to suck in all the bitterness that festers on 4chan.
I only frequent this board because occasionally, there is a good thread with a person in need of real advice. Not the usual threads where the OP believes that getting a girlfriend will solve all of their problems.
>>17151299
>Well you don't know it, you just tell yourself that, it's not knowledge, and it's definitely not certain.
Okay. Even if I am delusional about it, I believe it doesn't apply to me and so it doesn't affect me. Hence why I'm perfectly okay with being here and the stuff I see
>>17151307
I'm that girl, I'm actually on most days. I just have other stuff going on during the rest of the day. Something I always do is hide a lot of the repetitive or extremist bullshit threads on here, which I think helps a lot and could help OP
>>17151126
>If you are trying to become an alpha male, that is inherently at odds with the working culture (and what's expected of you) as a developer.
This is the shittiest excuse I've ever heard. You can't be a web developer and have muscles? Stop making excuses and get to work.
>>17151319
Likewise, in my younger days I used to browse /b/. I have a good life, so I am not that much affected by whatever is posted on here. But I believe in the case of OP he can still be saved and not turn into one of those women bashing r9k recluses.
>>17151217
Because "existing as an alpha male somewhere on earth" doesn't do anything for the partner who is waiting at home for them. Nothing to emotionally or physically do for the relationship. It's like being an alpha male in your own head and never talking to anyone. If the person you're trying to attract doesn't see it, how is it going to do anything?
Guys in the military cheat too. It's just a long distance relationship. How hot the girlfriend is does nothing physically or emotionally for the man when he can't interact with her.
>>17151217
Yeah.. Studying a semester abroad can also result in cheating. What's your point?
God this cuck thing that this board has a thing for is annoying
>>17151126
ignore red pill idiots, the success stories are anecdotes at best and lies at worst.
I work in IT (Implementations manager) and go to the gym, you aren't merging two worlds, you go to work, or you go to the gym, stop making excuses for your laziness.
>>17151324
Are you a web developer who goes to the gym?
Pic related is the working culture of web development by the way.
The problem I had is that working out is all about getting angry and aggressive as fuck. At first I was crap at that but then I was getting better at it. But then you go to work and you're expected to be some quiet techie geek. I just felt angry, all the fucking time, because I wanted to be doing something else. Yes I probably should have lined up something else to do... instead of just quitting and being NEET like an idiot.
>>17151335
I don't go on /b/ anymore
I mostly go to /sp/ these days but you still get /pol/-tier shit there. Then I go to /tv/ and /v/ sometimes and the /pol/-tier level is even higher.
>But I believe in the case of OP he can still be saved and not turn into one of those women bashing r9k recluses.
Never been on /r9k/ thank God
I used to think of myself as normal, and I had liberal attitudes. I've been coming to 4chan for 8 years and I never let it get to me. But the past year or two I think 4chan has definitely turned me into a proto-alt-righter... I moan about left-wing media bias all the time... my friends are all pretty left-wing people and I think they're surprised I started coming out with right-wing stuff over the past year
>>17151367
>God this cuck thing that this board has a thing for is annoying
What do you mean by that? "Cuck" is not an /adv/ thing, it's a 4chan thing (primarily /pol/ but every board I go on, /g/, /sp/, /tv/, /v/). I mostly go on /sp/ where you see *less* of it than some boards but it's still definitely there.
>>17151370
That's very true.
>I work in IT (Implementations manager) and go to the gym, you aren't merging two worlds, you go to work, or you go to the gym, stop making excuses for your laziness.
It's not laziness mate it's identity crisis
Implementations manager is probably a lot more hands-on / normal than development though isn't it? Before I quit, I had to deal with an implementations manager from a partner company. He wasn't a techie at all. Just a manager of the techies. A manager who made sure their shit got implemented
>>17151374
OP it really sounds like you need to cut off 4chan for a bit. A site like this should not command any influence of your life whatsoever.
You should easily be able to be a webdeveloper and hit the gym. Use to gym as a way to release excess energy and get a good nights sleep. Do it for you, the muscles will only be a bonus.
If you hit the gym in order to become an alpha male, which is a subjective matter anyway, it will become frustrating. And why would anyone expect you to be quiet just because you're a web developer?
>>17151392
>A site like this should not command any influence of your life whatsoever.
How does it not? I mean 99% of people here will always call you a liberal cuck faggot - judging by this, 4chan has changed how every single person I see on here thinks.
>If you hit the gym in order to become an alpha male, which is a subjective matter anyway, it will become frustrating.
Well yeah it was frustrating. I don't think alpha male is subjective - if you get bigger and have more testosterone then you act differently and you become more dominant and assertive and aggressive and confident. That's not subjective. In a pack of silverback gorillas, it's not "subjective" which one is the alpha male.
Maybe all that stuff is 4chan talking but it's hard to ignore the truth once you've been shown it, as ugly as it may be.
>And why would anyone expect you to be quiet just because you're a web developer?
Because that's the fucking expectation. Your boss expects you to be sat at your desk, tapping away. That's what your paid to do. It's not like a sales job where you are paid to be vocal and communicative and assertive. You are paid to sit down and shut the fuck up. If your boss sees you talking then he doesn't have to understand techie stuff to know that you're not doing your job.
>>17151391
>Implementations manager is probably a lot more hands-on / normal than development though isn't it?
I still have to get my M$ qualifications and do tech support work, but I attend a few meetings during the week too, I started out as a junior IT technician.
Going to the gym isn't my identity, my job isn't my identity, martial arts and boxing isn't my identity.
My identity is that I kick ass in whatever I do.
If you go to the gym 5 days a week, you won't look like Mr Olympia in a year, 5 years or even 10 years, you don't have to talk to your colleagues about it and you don't have to bring up your job at the gym.
I see my colleagues at the gym sometimes, we don't talk or anything because we are busy exercising, there's nothing wrong with lifting some weights or being fit enough to run a 10k.
Also there are plenty of health benefits when you train, you will sleep better and have more energy, you will have better CV health and be able to eat whatever you like (within reason), if you have a fitness goal you can work towards that too.
Like dead lifts? do them
Like benching? do that
Like pull ups? do them
I think you get the idea.
The only way your job will be affected by training is if you obsessively talk about it at work and litter your desk with protein shakes and supplements (don't buy them, eating right is all you really need)
>>17151367
My point is that being an alpha male chad or whatever does not protect you from infidelity
>>17151459
Mate.. Sure, you hit the gym and you become more confident with your own body. But it's not a complete transformation and your personality will remain the same. When I was in elementary school, at the age of 15 I was bullied, like anyone else.
Eventually my old man grew tired of it and hired a personal trainer for me, the name was Ivan and he was my mentor. I then continously trained under his supervision for 4 years until I turned 19 and became quite the meathead. Yes I does give you confidence but it won't change your life in that sense.
>>17151462
This guy has got it right.
>>17151462
>My identity is that I kick ass in whatever I do.
Okay, you say all this stuff. If you're so normal... why the fuck come to 4chan?
As I said everyone on 4chan calls you a cuck on whatever. Why? Because we are all insecure beta white males with no confidence and no direction. If you have your shit sorted out why the fuck would you come here?
>>17151466
I thought your point was that joining the military doesn't make you an alpha male Chad. I reckon if you really were an alpha male Chad then you wouldn't get cheated on. Or maybe you would. Fuck knows.
>>17151486
That sounds fucking cool, I like your dad.
You think it didn't change your personality? Surely it did, if you were bullied, then surely getting hench made you feel much more confident.
>>17151549
It actually did not. Quite the contrary, all the seniors at my highschool hated my guts because I was bigger than them. My point is OP, yes. You will feel more confident, but see that as a side bonus.
Silverback gorilla mentality is very present in most gyms, but don't make the mistake of thinking that lifting weights will solve all of your problems.
I'm 24 now and haven't worked out in forever, I've been there and it does not matter as much to me now as it did when I was a teenager. To be honest succeeding in my work life along with studies is more important to me.
To me it sounds more like you are unhappy with what you are doing as a web developer, if I am to be perfectly honest.
>>17151567
>To me it sounds more like you are unhappy with what you are doing as a web developer, if I am to be perfectly honest.
Maybe but I'm also unhappy with myself and the fact that I'm not a massive alpha guy.
I mean I know that going to the gym makes you more confident and stuff, when I was going and when I was hitting those weights well then I felt fucking alpha. Well more so than normal
Maybe I should just stop being so negative though... all I can think about is how fucking pathetic I am, how dweeby I am, how people can fuck with me, how I never stand up for myself, and again, how pathetic I am. So yeah, even when going to the gym I wasn't thinking "this is a great positive because I'm getting healthier and more confident", I was just thinking "when will I be big enough that I can punch some fucker in the street and absolutely fucking dominate him".
Maybe I should try boxing, could help me get rid of all that fucking anger
>>17151593
You are only as dweeby as you want to be OP. Normal people usually don't fuck with normal people for no reason, however when you frequent this board you may get the opposite idea.
Yeah that's my point, you shouldn't go to the gym so you can punch somebody in the face, what good will that do you? - In the end it won't solve the problem.
I do not know what the problem is, we can however conclude there is one, and you need to think real heard about what that problem is so you can make the necessary changes and become happy with yourself- and your life once again.
Why is becoming "alpha" so important to you? what will it give you that you cannot achieve already?
>>17151610
>Normal people usually don't fuck with normal people for no reason, however when you frequent this board you may get the opposite idea.
Well before I quit this web dev job I had, I felt I was getting pushed around at work, and also by one of my housemates at home... I guess I should have just told them what the fuck I was thinking, instead of pussying the fuck out and quitting and everything... but I guess in my mind I always think "the only masculine way to stand up to anybody is to fight them physically - if I say things then I'm being a whiny pathetic little bitch"
>Yeah that's my point, you shouldn't go to the gym so you can punch somebody in the face, what good will that do you? - In the end it won't solve the problem.
Make me feel better though.
>Why is becoming "alpha" so important to you? what will it give you that you cannot achieve already?
Dunno I just always feel pathetic and afraid and I don't want to feel like that. Also maybe it doesn't help that I see my friends getting laddier... e.g. one of my good friends got a job in sales (well he's an account manager really, not a salesman) while I'm a nerdy web developer. Then another good friend is 6'5", he used to be lanky as hell but he worked out and now he's massive. And they always talk about girls, and shit like that... I mean these people have been my good friends since school, but they've become more alpha while I'm still a dweeb.
I don't know, I'm having a hard time. Feel really disgusted w/r/t weak whytes and cuck males around me, as well as sickened at the fact that I have to prostitute myself into menial prole servitude in order to buy non-toxic foods and books.
Also incredibly resentful of the fact that I lack a lot of what I would deem essential skills + lack of availability to hunting grounds. Having more and more trouble interacting with normies, I seem to be nearly getting into fights a lot lately.
>>17151690
>I don't know, I'm having a hard time. Feel really disgusted w/r/t weak whytes and cuck males around me, as well as sickened at the fact that I have to prostitute myself into menial prole servitude in order to buy non-toxic foods and books.
So why exactly do you think you are so alpha compared to everyone else anon?
You say you do prole servitude so I assume that means you have a pretty shitty job?
>Also incredibly resentful of the fact that I lack a lot of what I would deem essential skills + lack of availability to hunting grounds. Having more and more trouble interacting with normies, I seem to be nearly getting into fights a lot lately.
But do you ever? Get into them?
>>17151705
I don't submit or shrink. I am always ready to fight someone if I have to.
And yes, I do do menial labour, by choice. I don't want a career or to dedicate myself to a sick lifestyle I don't believe in, I only work to pay for my lodgings and food and have moved 2 times since last July.
Haven't been in a fight since I completely cut alcohol in February.
>If you are trying to become an alpha male, that is inherently at odds with the working culture (and what's expected of you) as a developer
can you elaborate? what stops you?
>>17151720
>And yes, I do do menial labour, by choice.
What kind?
>I don't submit or shrink. I am always ready to fight someone if I have to.
>Haven't been in a fight since I completely cut alcohol in February.
So you have been in a fight then. How did it go? Did you win?
>>17151751
Now, construction. Was offered a promotion recently, turned it down. Dislike my boss.
I have been in quite a few fights (well, most bar fights are "scuffles" if anything) and whether I win or not really depends on how much I've had to drink. I won the last one I was, in so much as my opponent ran off.
Though thinking about it, I don't know if I'm a good answer to your queston as how to function in society, as I live very much on the periphery. Even have some trouble thinking "normally" now, all in aphorisms and flashes of inspiration.
>>17151731
The working culture of web development is "sit down, shut the fuck up, and type away". As I said here: >>17151459
>Your boss expects you to be sat at your desk, tapping away. That's what your paid to do. It's not like a sales job where you are paid to be vocal and communicative and assertive. You are paid to sit down and shut the fuck up. If your boss sees you talking then he doesn't have to understand techie stuff to know that you're not doing your job.
>>17151731
But also, developers are all fucking left-wing and they resent meathead type people. Or just anyone who plays sports really. Development is a haven, a self-designated safe space, for socially dysfunctional weirdos. So if you try and defy that then other developers won't like you.
See pic related for some of the "safe space" shit. TLDR of it is that someone on GitHub complained about an eggplant emoji being "phallic" and it made people "feel unsafe". People on GitHub have also successfully petitioned for the words "master" and "slave" (the accepted, correct terms) to stop being used when referring to main and backup databases, because of MUH WHITE GUILT
>>17151778
>I won the last one I was, in so much as my opponent ran off.
>in so much as my opponent ran off.
So, you didn't win. Got it.
May I ask how old you are, do you have friends, do you have or do you intend to start a family at any point?
>>17151816
Well, he gave up. I believe that would be a win.
I am 25.
Depends on what you mean by friends. I have actual friends, who I don't live near anymore, and haven't in years, I also have acquaintances from work etc. that I could opt to spend time with, but I usually do not.
I do not have a family, but I of course intend to have one at some point. Ending my lineage would be unacceptable, not only a personal loss but a loss for the world.
>>17151830
Wow you really have been fully enveloped by the religion of /pol/ haven't you
Maybe that's a good life to lead though, maybe I should be doing that. Got no fucking idea anymore 2bh
>>17151849
It requires the ability to have a minimalist lifestyle.
Everything I own fits in my car. Took me years of gradually breaking down my wants, preconceptions and pampered upbringing to get to it.
My advice is to start small, start going to the gym, read the greeks, go hunting once a week... In your case, maybe just do something you want for yourself in spite of what your masters want.
>>17151849
>>17151856
Correction: Not what you WANT but what you NEED, I believe some of us, which include most 4chan posters (which are latent magian) have fairly in tune instincts as to what we require to feel healthy. What we WANT, in a purely gratifying sense is often misguided and directly harmful. Sin feels good, rots your soul and then your body.
>>17151126
Civil Design Engineer/Construction Project Manager
Work/life separation friend - subservient behaviour at your place of work does not need to spillover into your social life and make you a beta. You don't have to live a double life, but you need to be a peace with the fact that 'work' is the foundation of your livelihood and is rarely 100% ideal - most jobs have shitty aspects to them and you either tend to do the hard work itself (manual labour, design work, coding, etc) or manage people (dealing with everyone's bullshit and idiosyncrasies). Yes some young people have inherited bulk cash or a family business or choose to be supported welfare, but they aren't looking to change or improve their situation like yourself.
As much as you want to label 4chan a den of negative shitcunts, /adv/ has fairly solid commentary in regards to long term relationship issues or career changes etc i.e. the issues encountered by young adults who are fairly established, socially-capable people. I am not talking about 'first approaching your crush' or 'I'm a NEET help me motivate myself' threads.
Don't let anyone convince you you're less of man because you "haven't pulled X amount of women" or "you don't even lift/aren't huge" (even you!). Men are capable of great things due to their ability for introspection and aspiration for self-improvement. You have to find something you are passion about though I feel - it doesn't have to be your job though, a hobby.
