/adv/, how to grow up?
How to feel like you can survive in this world without hoping your parents will save you?
I have a feel, I need to make close friends, shamefully, only because i feel helpless. Like I have to start to finally commit to receive legit help.
I feel so vulnerable, because i am bad at reading between lines, understanding when you are just being used, when people talk behind your back. Also I am a bad liar and usually assume people tell truth to me.
Never learned how to deal with this at school, simply accepted that i'm an outcast and normies dislike and reject me. Learned to maintain an adequate facade, but opening up to a person is hard as hell. Because i start to act socially retarded, when i don't control myself and people tell they never expected this from me.
It hurts much for some reason.
Tl;dr
>How to learn social self-defense? Ex. how to deal with conflicts without being outsmarted and ridiculed?
>How to choose good friends, i don't want to commit to a person, who would throw me away when i started to have problems? Yeah, it must be a gamble, that's the whole point, but what are the obvious red flags?
had a friend, who was afraid of being alone and hang out with friends 24/7, and i start to understand why that wasn't actually stupid.
I may sound like a pragmatic asshole myself, i can't really do anything about that.
>>17147384
stop being a pussy dude
the world doesn't end when you are rejected. everyone goes through that, it's goddamn normal.
Can't do anything, can't do anything, can't do anything.
So annoying. Gee, what's the problem? Certainly it couldn't be the crap I'm constantly spewing, yet can't acknowledge. Absolutely neurotic. Yes, let's ignore issues, because that's what I see other people do, and that's what I've been taught to do.
Bullshit.
Just DO stuff, who cares? If you're afraid of something, make a plan. Forget other people. Other people are other people, they're irrelevant. You are you. Your plans of you should not include other people. Your plans of you should only include what is going to make you happy or less stressed.
>>17147384
quit hyperfocusing on yourself and focus on everybody (don't forget yourself)
>>17147384
funny thing
>how to grow up
completely contradicts
>how to choose good friends
and a few other things you listed.
growing up means accepting that you cant have a perfectly cushy life. you will choose friends who seem great, and they will turn out bad. there is no way to know what switches are going to be flipped down the road. no one goes into a relationship thinking 'WOW THIS PERSONS GOING TO RUIN ME'
being an adult means having a life that you construct enjoyable enough that you can survive it on your own, and taking the time to be with who is there while they are.
nothing lasts forever. no matter how smart you are you never know when your best friend is gonna fuck your wife.
>how to learn social self defense
>how to deal with conflicts without being outsmarted adn ridiculed
by being smarter than them, and not saying anythign that opens yourself up to ridicule. but even then people can still call you a poo face.
