Girlfriend of 5 years wants to get married. I completely understand and love her to death, but am embarrassed that I have no friends, can't dance, can't afford a wedding, and won't enjoy anything about the process.
Aside from my personal insecurities, I just feel like the whole thing is a waste of time/money when we could put it towards a trip or anything else! She knows I feel like this but I don't think she realizes how strongly I don't care about marriage in a traditional sense.
Just wondering, anyone else feel the same way about it?
Does she want to get married, or does she want to have a wedding? A simple civil ceremony costs little to nothing, doesn't involve large numbers of people or dancing, and is very quick. All of your concerns are dealt with, and she gets to be married. Is there any remaining problem?
i think getting married is awesome, but i agree that weddings are a waste of time and money. if i were to get married, i'd MUCH rather just like, go on vacation with my husband/wife to be and get married as privately as possible in a small setting.
it sucks though because if i were to do that, my mom, who means the world to me, would probably be heartbroken about it.
>>17146982
She wants a real wedding. I'd be cool with a civil ceremony and maybe a small get together with close family at a nice restaurant or venue. I'll need to talk to her about finding a middle ground. Is this becoming more common? I don't know of anyone else who's done this but I feel like it makes more sense. I have never enjoyed a regular wedding.
>>17146961
If you don't care, it wouldn't be such a big deal to you and you'd just do it. Stop lying to yourself, you care a great deal about staying unmarried.
Simple fact is that this is a big deal to you and you're debating whether the relationship is worth it if she is immovable on this.
>>17146989
Thank you. I feel kinda torn too. I really wan't to do something great with her on the same scale as a wedding but a wedding in itself feels like a waste. I've never enjoyed any weddings I've been too. I know my parent's wouldn't care but my grandparents and her family definitely wan't a more normal wedding and reception.
>>17147002
Thank you. I had these doubts initially too but she isn't worth leaving over this. I'll do it for her but I'm still going to talk to her about it to see if she is open to something different.
>>17147002
As a guy who doesn't want to get married as its a huge waste of money and brings nothing of value to me in general its not about how you value the relationship
Civil marriage is kinda better but id rather give the girl visit rights in hospitals and whatever
But im also concerned about my monetary security and being cheated on in the past made me careful about shit like thst
>>17146997
>Is this becoming more common? I don't know of anyone else who's done this but I feel like it makes more sense. I have never enjoyed a regular wedding.
Fuck everyone else. Fuck trends if you don't like them. Do what makes you two happy. That's it.
