>>17145478
You gotta move out is one, and two is give up thinking you will be different than your folks, you can keep yourself in check but will be very much like them.

>>17145483
Thank you. I feel better

I have the same problem anon

The one thing i hate most about these kinds of parents is their way of guilt tripping you. I dont know about you but thats what my mother does all the time. And dont even get me started with arguing logic with them. Yesterday they took my bed so im currently sleeping on those martess things on top of the bed. My back hurts so fucking bad but i just have to accept it, because if your a parent you somehow get a "I can never do wrong" pass, and this pisses me off so fucking much.

The one thing i do is i never raise my voice toeards them and I always make sure that im never on the same low level as them.

Hang in there anon. They won't be alive forever and when they dont, you're probably going to regret soms things you've done. Find someone who you can talk or vent to. Id recommend you seeing a therapist because it is something thats bothering you, right? In the meantime just let them have their way until you move out

My mom is seriously emotionally abusive (and my dad physically abusive) but I'm lucky enough to have a nice older sibling who understands.

her advice, which I now have the privilege of following:

1. owe them as little as possible. ask for as little as you can in the way of money, favors, etc, even if it's normal to do so, because it will either get held over your head or you'll respond to your training and feel like they're putting themselves out for you and it'll enmesh you further.

2. you don't have to call and worry about them. when you abuse your kids you kinda forfeit what a nice supportive parent would expect from their child. if they do or say something egregiously bad on the phone and you do a risk-benefit assessment and come out fine for flatly hanging up, hang up. you don't have to make yourself suffer for someone with a track record of being a jerk to you.

3. if you haven't moved out, try to get it together to move out. I'm physically (and mentally) disabled and it took me until i was 25 to move out permanently and not come back. And I did. It is the best feeling on earth. having an emotionally abusive parent is like being raised in a cult. living in it just perpetuates the crazy mindset they've been immersing you in since birth. get away from that shit.

>>17145478
You're 20. There comes a point - and you've reached it - when "My parents were abusive and that's why I'm screwed up" can't carry you any further.

You're a grown-up. Accept who you are and make the best of it. It is your job to change what you want to change in yourself and nourish what is good in yourself, and take responsibility for making yourself who you want to be.

And if that means reducing their power to hurt you, do it. If it's an extreme case (and it doesn't sound like one) break with them. Otherwise CHOOSE to not let them bother you.