Nevertheless, I find myself deeply attracted to women even if all I can do is look at them. When describing my thoughts about women, people in real life, online, and my therapist have suggested that I see women only as sexual objects. One thing that stuck with me was once here on /r9k/ I was talking about how it would be nice if I could just have a chubby woman to cuddle with, with no expectation of sex, and none of the commitment/responsibility of being her bf- just lying there intimately embracing. People in the thread told me that its very creepy, as if all I care about is a warm body next to me. Similarly to how I described how yesterday I told a woman at yoga I think she's very beautiful and wore a sexy outfit, that I objectified her as if I care about nothing more than her legs and ass.
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masturbators anonymous *31 days fap free* 05/14/16(Sat)22:56:46 No.28574450▶
So my current challenge is trying to wrap my head around what the concept of objectification actually is? Is it real or myth? What is or is not objectification, and how to become a person that does not objectify women?
I'd love to hear you thoughts on this, so I can develop a better understanding and make the most of my therapy session next week knowing exactly what I want to work on.

>>17145359
Get off the internet dude, and stop watching the trash big media is peddling to you.

>>17145401
like I said, my therapist and others I talked to in real life have said similarly

>>17145404
See a psych, don't bother with a therapist.
Otherwise get a different therapist, because he/she has an agenda.

>>17145359
I'm curious, do you actually have close male friends (people that you don't feel lust for)? I know there's the guy at your gym who thinks you don't know how to behave (because you really don't), but I mean real friends: people that you actually call and talk to when you want, who you enjoy spending time with and who enjoy spending time with you.

Because that's how you interact with a woman without objectifying her. You don't look at her as a collection of body parts that you want to fuck or grope. It's not that fucking or groping is bad, it's that you want to fuck or grope this particular person because you like her for reasons outside of fucking and groping.

>>17145485
No. I don't actually see or talk to freinds outside of organized events, and pretty much spend most of my life not talking to people, so I have no idea how to even talk to normal people normally.

Its not that I'm antisocial but just have no idea what to do or talk about with male friends if I asked people to hang out with me on their own time and not at an event we both happen to be attending. This itself doesn't bother me anymore because I understand its just my socially lazy introverted nature.

>>17145507
I used to try actually meeting with friends, but ended up being bored and probably boring to them as well, whereas alone I can entertain myself just being outside going on solitary walks and with internet/media at home. I don't have any hobbies or interests that can be shared with others or have conversations about beyond adding a few remarks contributing info I read on Wikipedia and found interesting.

>>17145359
>Sexual objectification
The basic idea that lust/sex-drive should become a sex crime

Objectification is pretty much treating them as an object or a goal without regarding who they are as people. If you see a woman and think "she's sexy," that's all well and good. If the only thing you care about is that she's sexy, and you don't care about her personality but want to bang, that's potentially bad because you're making her an object in your head.

I think everyone does it from time to time. When I'm masturbating, I'm sure not fantasizing about a personality. But viewing people that way in your everyday life isn't great.

>>17145485
>You don't look at her as a collection of body parts that you want to fuck or grope. It's not that fucking or groping is bad, it's that you want to fuck or grope this particular person because you like her for reasons outside of fucking and groping
This.

Objectification is being unable to think of women as anything else than how desirable they are and how much you want to fuck them.

>>17145359
I have only had very few incidents of feeling objectified by men.

One was much more complex. It was a relationship. And my ex wanted me to look and act a certain way. And he had an extremely high sex drive. I went on birth control and took anti depressants and my sex drive went into the deepest low I've ever had.

My boyfriend ignored that I was depressed, wanted me to put out any time he wanted, then threatened to cheat or leave if I didn't. I have never felt like such a disposable object to a man in my entire life.


Other times were just when men, random strangers on the street, say very derogatory things to me. These don't affect me as harshly, but it definitely does not make me feel good. Makes me second guess what I am wearing (even though I really don't dress in provocative clothing, usually jeans and blouse), makes me wonder how I look to other people, makes me wonder what I did to make a man say something like that to me.

To me, objectifying me is a combination of things. Sexual attraction alone is not objectification. It's a combination of being aggressively sexually forward, having a complete lack of empathy or respect for me.

I am not some stick in the mud sexually, but nothing turns me off like a man who thinks I am below them. My current boyfriend and I have a really great sex life, but we have that because he respects me outside of the bedroom.

>>17146282
>Implying women have anything left other than their looks nowadays
>VarkVickernesspasta.jpg
In other words, you kinda asked for it

Hello

I'm a female who thinks very similarly to men, in a sexual sense. I'm quite visually oriented and have schlicked to porn for a number of years, resulting in less arousal, inability to orgasm at times, and general dissatisfaction.

The most helpful thing I've done is to stop watching porn, and more importantly, stop fantasizing. Practice being in the present moment, just in the room, touching yourself. Keep your mind focused on the sensations you're feeling, your breath, and let thoughts float away. While we're on the subject- meditation has improved my live drastically in general, and I recommend it for everyone. Being present, and paying attention to my body and what I'm feeling has led to the most powerful orgasms I've ever had; perhaps because my awareness is just more focused on them. I've also tried some 'self love' type stuff, which is a little weird at first, but actually really pleasant. You kinda pretend you're your own partner, and 'make love' to yourself, giving yourself the same love, acceptance and admiration that you would to a beloved partner. These methods have been so powerful that I actually think I could just masturbate for the rest of my life and not feel the 'need' for a partner, sexually.

This is very simple.

You know when you objectify (sexually) women when you don't give a damn about who they are, what they do for a living, you don't care about their feelings, you just want to stick your dick in and that's that.

Conversely, if you don't give a damn about a woman because she isn't attractive, that's also objectification. Why? It's seen as a tell that your friendliness and capitulating to an attractive woman comes off as manipulation in order to procure sex.

Now by don't give a damn I mean, you don't treat them with the same common courtesy you'd extend to another man.

Basically what it boils down to is that there's a baseline of respect that humans deserve and being unattractive is NOT a disqualifying factor for that respect. This is what feminists are always crowing about. You don't have to be attracted to her, you just have to not treat her like shit because she's ugly.

>>17146282
>>17146304
I have felt it in more innocent terms, like women are God's beautiful artworks to be adored and appreciated for their awe inspiring physiques. I don't think this means they are my property or event hat I need anything from them at all, but bluntly, matter of fact, straightforward, women exist to me primarily as pretty things to look at. Is this a unique and solipsistic/sociopathic perception, or are normies just better at hiding it?

But regardless of how we term it, is it even possible to care about anything other than a woman's body when you first see her? Attraction always begins as something physical, for men at least, and literally all you care about when you meet a woman is her body, and things that emanate from it like her smile, the look in her eyes, the sound of her voice, the way she laughs, etc.

Part of my awakening is coming to realize how my autistic thought processes differ from the normal person. Is it that most men are already aware that women feel uncomfortable with men being attracted to their body, so they try to make it seem like there are some other reasons based on her "personality?" I am curious. Tell me.

>>17146630
but you can't actually know a person, just have an idea about them. What happens naturally for men in general I assume is that when we encounter an attractive woman our brain fill in all the gaps and we think she is an interesting and good person. And I know most men have an unconscious uncontrollable bias towards attractive women. Even if we aim to treat everyone equally, we end up being more receptive to them and giving more attention to them, its just life.

I don't treat women like shit if they aren't attractve to me, but inevitably I will be more drawn towards women I find attractive initially because of their body and nothing else.

>>17146353
from what I have read, female orgasm is far more powerful, wholesome and energizing than a mans. I used the same visualization technique of making love to yourself as if you are your partner's body experiencing yourself within it while doing tantric masturbation, and its like there is an intense wave of energy shooting up your spine from your sacrum to your head, and all the blood in your body rushed to your head this results in a full body 'orgasm' which leaves me breathing more deeply and highly energized and peaceful. If you have had sex with a man I'm sure you experienced the opposite with him, after a few minutes of afterglow you can sense he is on a lower lever of consciousness and maybe even wants to take a nap.

But the point is, male orgasm is very shitty, and nothing but an addiction and impediment to living on a higher level of physical, mental and spiritual functioning. Though I read about the tantric breathing meditation as a practice used during lovemaking, I found that it can be done without any genital involvement at all, so something I can do on my own, or with a future gf as an alternative to intercourse.

>>17145361 coming from a femanon here, objectification is bullshit. naturally and biologically most men have urges to have sex with a woman they find to be suitable and attractive. Although women are not sexual objects, it is good to find a woman whom you are very attracted to and will be down for sex often. I think what you need anon is to find a girl you connect with emotionally and then the sex and sexual feelings will wriggle themselves into the relationship as time goes on. the mental connection needs to be there first before good real sex will find its way in.

>>17147451
Look here >>17146304

>>17147451
abstinence from sexual activity is part of the resolution, and I am feeling the best I have ever felt in my life because I stopped it- despite still healing from injuries sustained from years of compulsive masturbation. So my ideal gf situation would be where we just cuddle and do 'orgasmic meditations ' together and her self esteem or feeling about the relationship does not depend on making me ejaculate. From what I gather, women don't like that most men get lethargic and avoidant after sex, and would love if he were to just cuddle and talk with her with the same enthusiasm as before- and being that many women are also into yoga, meditation and eastern spirituality they would totally be accepting of the idea that masturbation and ejaculation is bad for men, and try other stuff which makes both of us satisfied and connected.

In the beginning though, when you first meet someone, from the male perspective its all about looks, and other expressions emanating from/through the body. So what I'm trying to understand now, and been baffled by my whole life, is how instead of just two people admitting they are physically attracted to each other, they start with what seems like casual platonic conversation, and through a complex process of being chatty chatty that my autistic brain can't comprehend- even after studying PUA, the relationship then transcends into physical and emotional bonding.

More specific question relating to current situations- lets say I met a woman at yoga class, and as is normal, we hug when saying hello or goodbye. However as time goes on, it feels like I don't know how to even have a conversation with her, and then wondering why she still hugs me and if she feels objectified- even if she says she enjoys hugging me, because there's seems to be nothing more to the relationship than that.

Not the same girl I talked about in my thread 2 days ago, I will just leave her alone and not hug her ever again unless she decides to initiate it.

Women these days act like they've got it so bad

Only cucks agree

What it boils down to is females make themselves objects in the eyes of the public because they use sex to get what they want. Fact is attractive girls have at least one point used their bodies to obtain what they want.

If you act like a nigger, I'll call you a nigger.

Men like to look at attractive women.
Men don't give any attention to ugly women

Proto-feminists think this is evil behavior.

>>17147488
objectification is bullshit. Nevertheless I would like to try and understand how other people might see my behavior as such.

Cause sometimes it feels like they are telling me that just being attracted to a woman because she has a sexy body is objectification, and the only people who do not objectify women are "sapio-sexuals" who pretend like women are all covered in burqa .

>>17145359
It's BS.

There is NOTHING wrong with being sexually attracted to women. It's the only reason any of us are here right now, FFS.

I don't even think that *just* wanting to fuck someone is inherently bad, if there's mutual consent (though I'd personally never go for this type of sex).