How do I help my mum?
She's getting older (mid/late 50's), is divorced, and last time I met her (I don't live with her) she was crying. She's tired of the world and other people grinding her down, and tired of being lonely.
She lives with my other siblings, but they're grown ups too.
Help me help her, /adv/. Please. It kills me seeing her like this.
(note: I know what I can do is limited, and I'm not exactly the strongest as emotional support, but I do what I can to make her happy. Hell, I'm certain I already know what I can and can't do to help her... I just need a little outlet).
Aww. Get her out dating. I love my mom. I'm sorry, have a bump
>>17144599
Thanks anon.
I don't think she into dating again - the divorce kinda burned her out.
I really ought take her out just for a weekend.
Anons, just call up your parents every now and let them know you love them and they're special.
>>17144614
Well, if she's lonely even with some of her kids at home, I think she wants more companionship. I could be wrong, but yeah taking her out would be nice. It kills me when I see my mom cry.
One time when I was a small kid and we were all at a lake, my cousin wanted my floaty device, and I didn't want to give it up so I floated into the center of the lake and my mom swam after me to get it for him. I kept swimming away from her. I felt so awful years later, for whatever reason the guilt and sadness still sticks with me over that. I don't know why.
>>17144594
She needs hobbies with people.
Definitely take her out, and encourage your siblings to too, but she needs actual friends.
>church
>knitting circle
>book club
>walking club
>art club
Check out your local parks and recreation for classes and things.
Try and find something that both of you can do together for starters. Introduce her to the concept of these kinds of things. Go to a couple with her, and then say, "Hey mom, you know those clubs we go to every so often? I found one that I think you would like." and that one is something like the above that she would go by herself.
If you just introduce it as is, she'll probably be embarrassed and think you're trying to get rid of her.
Mothers often socially isolate themselves, where their husbands and children are their only companions. Now the kids are grown up and don't need her help, and her husband is gone. She hasn't known how to be social in a long time.
She's probably also resistant to admitting she needs help or other people. Mothers are the rock, the one who helps. She hasn't switched that role in decades. She might consider it a failure of her status as mother. So that's why you need to be kind of sly and delicate.
>>17144747
Thanks for the reply anon, these are great ideas.
I should have noted that my siblings actually still live with her; rent is too expensive for them to live alone.
I've got the best paying job outta the lot of us, but I have my own place closer to the city for work.
I want to support her financially and I've got ideas but they'll take quite a long time to get up and running... there's only so much you can get from one income source by working fulltime.
God damn I feel like shit now.
>>17144594
Maybe getting her a pet might help? Like a puppy or a kitten if its not too expensive? Having a small companion that she can spend her energy on might really help her if she's shy/reserved.
>>17145496
Oh christ, that's a story in itself.
We had our dog pass away just recently. We had him for about a decade.
Long story short we had to put him down. I don't know how they'd feel about a new one.
I'm sorry to be such a downer guys. Hahaha, holy shit!
