You forgot the detail of your story.

>>17138627
My wife will be gone for the summer, my friend is asking me to go out all summer and do the crazy shit we did before, it seems obvious to say to my friend I can't. However he's not in a good condition and needs a friend to do things with him. I could ask that we don't do the crazy shit my wife would disapprove of but this is what he lives for and would be depressed again about me growing up and being the party pooper.

>>17138637
Also the my wife isn't being irrational, the things we did were dangerous, and not appropriate for being in a relationship.

>>17138641
I think your friend has problems that you shouldn't feel responsible for. If you say your wife is being rational, then she's doing it for your sake. But your friend is doing it for his own sake. That's okay but you shouldn't feel pressured to do something just because he's depressed.
Are you feeling pressured about it? I mean what do you want to do? And just go off there

>>17138641
If he can't accept the fact of you having a wife and needing to remain loyal, then it's best to not entertain him. Otherwise, find some middle ground.

>>17138625
So, if that was me I'd fuck my wife over - but there's some reasoning behind that, not just because I'm a cunt.

Someone is going to get hurt either way, which means at some point down the line you're going to have a "this is why I helped them instead of you" conversation. I'm very clse with my best mate, we've known each other since we were kids, but I'm closer with my wife - which means she's more likley to be understanding about it. Even though we talk most days I only see Mike two or three times a week, whereas I see my wife multiple times a day so it's a lot easier to pacify her and get things straightened out after the event. Also, I know 110% that Mike and his wife will pull out all the stops to get my mrs (his wife and mine are sisters) back on side, whereas for example my wife isn't going to turn round to him and say "I'm sorry than Anon took me shopping instead of writing that spec for you. Sucks that you lost the contract but we'll pay your mortgage this month to make up for it".

Communication is the key thing. Let her know well in advance. Yes, she'll probably get chopsy about it, but putting it off isn't going to make it any easier. She'll take it a lot better if you let her know in advance so she can plan something else than if you let her down at the last minuite.

>>17138666
I feel pressured of course, and I guess there isn't really advice for someone like me who doesn't think rationally. I believe in always extending your help in any way possible. I don't want to see him down, I really want to help with that. I had a serious panic attack last time I talked it out with my wife, when thinking about what I need/want to do, I realized I'm 50/50 on both sides and either one will hurt the other. I just became a broken calculator trying to divide by zero.

>>17138668
My loyalty is crashing the party that brought us together like brothers and made us develop as great people to who we are today, my wife has done the same though with our love.

>>17138671
Of course my wife would forgive me, but it's more of a me problem, im not perfect but im purely altruistic and I can't swallow dissapointing anyone. I'm aware this is unhealthy but I think it's a beautiful idea that's worth carrying in this world.

>>17138625
>I am a person who deeply believes in love and giving everything to your loved one.
>I also believe in sacrificing yourself for other people and giving what you can to please them (to an extent).

A man after my own heart.

Reading>>17138637 it seems that your friend might be toxic for you or bring you down. You'd be doing it almost unwillingly other than to please your friend at the expense of your wife and possibly your new values. A true wife is a part of you, a friend is a friend. It can end with you having to deal with an upset wife who will hold it over your head forever or a disappointed friend who you don't live with, share a life with. The real question is where does your heart stand with this?

>>17138692
It sounds corny, im sorry that I'm stubborn and unworkable. But I believe toxic people can be helped, I believe in people and have dealt with depression myself and with my loved ones. Depression is such an evil thing, I'd do anything to prevent it in a stranger and especially in someone id consider my brother. My heart currently leans towards my wife, but I can't stand the thought of someone I hold close dealing with depression and feeling the loss of his great friend.

>>17138702
If he really is depressed, fucking strippers (or whatever it is he wants to do), won't help him in the slightest.

>>17138711
He's a stoic, someone who lives life as it goes, but he needs someone by his side to live stoically with. He's not depressed that he's not out drinking and doing illegal things, he would be depressed because his partner in crime retired on him for someone else. We've had troubles finding him a girl that thinks the same way.

>>17138717
Well his partner in crime DID retire him for someone else. You made your choice, deal with it.

>>17138625
Bro's > hoes
Take mgtow pill before putting a ring

>>17138735
>>17138723
The direction of this thread is obvious and not really the advice that is helpful.

>>17138717
What do you value more? A happy home life or a friend who wants to relive his glory days being dependent on you to fulfill them? What will he ask you to do next?

>>17138760
I don't know man, it's just so hard to do that to someone.

>>17138803
Yes, but here is the thing; you already did it to him. Not potentially, it happened you got married and choose a diffrent lifestyle. Pretending, (or more bluntly lying) to your freind isn't doing him a favor, it's betraying someone you made a commitment to in order to pander to someone who will only like you if you cater to him?

>>17138832
That last part is a question because I hope he is a good enough friend to not want you to lie to him, even if its a nice lie.

>>17138832
Well said.