I was wondering if some other people could share experiences about having loved ones with mental illness. I just had to have my girlfriend committed to an emergency room and put in the psychiatric ward for suicidal threats. I feel absolutely awful for doing it, but I know I did the right thing.
She has severe anxiety and sometimes panic attacks that she leans on me for, often disrupting my work and putting my job at risk so I can go and help her. I know this can't go on forever and am trying to get her help.
What is the best way to deal with this? Has anyone else ever had to have someone close to them committed? Did you regret it?
I'm looking for advice, but also would just like to hear other people's points of view. Thanks.
>>17138345
>dating someone with a mental illness
NOPE. NOP. you should leave, the stress, headaches. Emotional distress and pain you'll feel while they do whatever they feel like and then justifiy with 'oh but my X was acting up'. Is terrible and not worth it at all.
they constantly play victim and you are expected to eat all their shit and smile or else you're 'toxic and not understanding' their issues. I dated one(didnt know she had issues until well into the relationship) and it ended horribly. Never again.
>>17138345
I had one with legit autism and the other was depressed with suicidal tendencies
It can be hard
Remember you dont owe them anything and you dont have to stick around how ever bad it sounds
It takes a strong person to except it and deal with it
Look at it like they hsve parts you can rate on individual, you can put looks, personality or anything in it
And see if they as a complete person are a greater then the sum of their individual parts
If your answer is yes then id say its worth to stick around
The autist was really hard sometimes, impossible to handle but she was really funny and sweet, she was interested in the same things as me and she would actually feel comfortable with me and she would get better so id stick through the panic attacks and other shit
>>17138345
u know what helps someone more than throwing them in a ward? listening to them.
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium, with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's really quite breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
>>17138369
I did that (and have done that many times before), I was told that they were taking their life, so I called the 911 when I couldn't find her
>>17138369
>know what helps someone more than throwing them in a ward? listening to them.
Over the long term, yes. But sometimes reality interferes and emergencies happen, and what people need in those moments doesn't always mesh so well with what they want. When that happens, you do what you must.
>>17138448
This. I had to call an ambulance on my friend who was cutting herself. She absolutely hated it, but in the long run she says it was the best and only thing I could have done.
>>17138357
As someone similar to OPs gf this niggas right.
No clue why my family puts up with my shit. It's pretty awful
Also more than likely people like us don't get better.
Escape while you can you tard
>>17138345
is pic related your gf op?
goddam
Hi op,
I have a lot of mental health issues and disabilities that I was born with.
I am happily married. Your girlfriend needs to seek medical help she can not be depending on you all the time for stuff like that. You both need to learn how to create personal boundaries when it comes to relationships with people.
Your girlfriend should come to you to talk but she needs to be able to figure out what triggers her anxiety and figure out coping mechanisms. She needs to know herself and get medical help she will not be able to tell you what to avoid and what helps her and what will help her improve. Everyone is different and seeking medical help is the only option. You did nothing wrong by getting her help.
A couple years ago a girl who was five years younger than me that I considered my little sister tried to kill herself and told me she was going to. I ended up calling the police and getting her help right away. She did not talk to me for two years after that. I only heard from her twice since then. Do I feel guilty about doing it? A bit, but I do not want someone life to end with them unable to be happy and to chose to stop without getting the proper help first. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy in their skin and to smile sincerely.
I hope you are able to smile sincerely after this OP. Here is a picture I took a while ago.
1. Mental illness is like any other illness. They can't help that they're sick, and just like you can't treat cancer on your own, you also can't treat someone's mental illness on your own. They may very well need professional help.
2. You don't owe them any more than you would owe any other partner.
>>17138740
Oh yeah, and
3. Many mental illnesses are chronic. Depression is one of the few exceptions, although it often returns in cycles. Anxiety will never go away, but like >>17138726 said, you can learn to cope with it.
>>17138345
I deal with my own anxiety/depression/stress issues. To be very candid with you, she's your gf, not a wife or family member. You have a choice. You can support her, give 100% to her and it will likely drain you beyond belief. You have a choice, you can not deal with it. Or you can invest your time, emotions on her and hope/work for the best. If she is willing to help herself it makes your job much easier.
>>17138345
OP, be straight with me. Why do you put up with this? Don't give me some BS like "I love her." We all feel love for our partners. It doesn't mean we put up with this level of damage. To me, this points to some sort of deep damage on your part, to deal with this woman to begin with. What is your problem? What is wrong with you? And I mean this in an objective way, not a mean way. I'm trying to figure out why you would go to these great lengths. Logically, one would assume you are similarly fucked up/undesirable, to be willing to put up with someone who is so burdensome. People who are high quality, high value are typically not shacked up with people who are so broken. So what's your situation?
>>17138761
op here
I love her
>>17138766
Specifically told you to not use that excuse, but fine. Be a fag about this.
>>17138770
jk im not op
just trolling cuz im drunk
op, sorry. also, answer if thats >>17138345 your gf in the pic. goddam ill take her off your hands
>>17138766
>>17138770
>>17138772
forgive me anon
>>17138345
3 Years relation with strong borderline sydrom, i needed call the ambulance 4 times when finding her in the bathtube wraist cut open. The thing was she had the perfect look and i was 20 by the time.
I really wanted to b with the girl, on the other hand everytime she cut herself i feel not good about it. Later thinking it was my fault, the alcohol problem she had was even worse, every day at least 1 bottle of wine.
I still love her, but i needed to get out of this relation because it was hurting me.
